Shacknews LoL

Greta responded by changing her profile

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ELl2kzPWsAA6MWW?format=jpg&name=orig

Do you remember that video a long time ago with the chick doing her dating profile and when she starts talking about how much she loves cats she starts crying uncontrollably? Today I was watching a gif of a giant fluffy cat jumping in slow motion and I started thinking about how much I love cats and how snuggly and murderous and awesome they are and I literally got tears in my eyes because I felt this overwhelming love for cats. You think I have that brain parasite they give people?

That seems like good odds, but I've played XCOM, so...

Put a bunch of baby carrots in your pocket. Occasionally pull one out and dip in ranch on nightstand

“I would like to buy an Xbox”
“Which one? The first one?”
“You mean the Xbox One?”
“No I mean the Xbox”
“I want the X one”
“The Xbox One X?”
“No it was S-something I think”
“The Xbox One S?”
“No not that either”
“Xbox Series X?”
“Is that the same as the Xbox One X?”
“No, that’s different”
“Then what’s the Xbox One?”
“Do you mean the first Xbox or the Xbox One?”
“Wat”

when i was a kid i wanted to be an architect until i realized how much math i needed. also, this is why my mother gave me "the fountainhead" to read in 7th grade. seriously, she handed it to me and said "this is about an architect, you will like it" and that still fucking slays me.

Oh the responses!! Not the first time you’ve tried to stick your ugly face onto a 16 year old girl’s/]

I've seen enough movies to know the sketchy guy in your crew sneaks a gun anyway and ends up shooting a security guard

My sister has a cat named olive. I offered my hand with the complimentary pspspspsssss sounds and she calmly walked up and slap the bejangles out of my hand, hissed really loudly and did the sidewinder thing out of the room. That cat is POS.

I hope most of the show is him doing side quests along the way.