Republican COVID-19 stimulus plan proposal now includes $1.791 billion NRA bailout

These guys are super dumb and desperate, but you do you, GOP.

Shantynews

Boy, the conservative movement in America just can't quit giving us material today at Shantynews. The Republicans are at it again. With five days left in the Trump administration, the Republicans are trying to ram some more stupid things into the upcoming stimulus bill.

COVID IN THE HOUSE!

The NRA recently said that they would be filing for bankruptcy, but politicians love giving bailouts to all sorts of companies who don't deserve it. Airlines, banks, auto companies, and even Government-Sponsored Enterprises Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were bailed out... by the government. 

At this point, it seems pretty obvious that money has no meaning to politicians, as the Federal Reserve continues to aggressively print money. Just not for regular citizens. They gotta bootstrap their way up the trickle down economy, or some snake oil bullshit conservative saying.

You may be wondering how the Republicans came up with the $1.791 billion figure. As recent events have shown, Republicans are super dumb and corny as fuck. Have you seen Trump dance?

Get this. They used the year the Second Amendment (and the rest of the Bill of Rights) was ratified. The NRA didn't even need this much money, but they are going to get $1.791 billion because of the year 1791. That is, if the Republicans get there way.

GETTY IMAGES PHOTO OF KENTUCKY CAPITOL BUILDING
image courtesy of Getty Images

Republicans want all NRA members to receive $2,000 checks. It's been a very trying time for gun owners, as they are being lumped in with the crazy terrorists who failed to overthrow the government last week.

The NRA doesn't plan to pay off their debts, and will most likely need another bailout next year. They will get it too, because this is America. Sigh.

COW.

- posted by Judah Ben-Hur

Header image via NBC News who got it from Daniel Acker / Bloomberg via Getty Images file. Please don't sue us!

From The Chatty
  • reply
    January 15, 2021 9:45 PM

    EXCLUSIVE: REPUBLICANS RAMMING $1.791 BILLION NRA BAILOUT INTO COVID-19 RELIEF BILL

    Read more: Republican COVID-19 stimulus plan proposal now includes $1.791 billion NRA bailout

    • reply
      January 15, 2021 10:48 PM

      What about the NWA bailout?

    • reply
      January 15, 2021 10:49 PM

      What about the GBA bailout?

    • reply
      January 15, 2021 11:26 PM

      I legit thought that said 'NBA' and my head spun and spun and the globetrotter theme started because that dinnae ken, boyo!

    • reply
      January 15, 2021 11:36 PM

      These were funny riffing on gaming, this new turn is...? Why?

      • reply
        January 16, 2021 12:10 AM

        you live in a country with functional gun control and reasonable politicians on the left and right when it comes to this issue, we don't

        spare us your concern trolling

        • reply
          January 16, 2021 12:19 AM

          Firstly, I'm not "concern trolling" so take that shit elsewhere.
          Secondly, this is political content, bypassing the political filter on the sight.
          Thirdly, besides one other article, all the Shantynews articles have been gaming related and I've praised them because they were fucking fantastic.
          Fourthly, it's possible to riff on Trump well, I've seen a small handful of jokes the past few weeks which were fucking great, both of these 2 have been droll.
          Fithly, he's fucking gone anyhow, drop it already.

          "Concern trolling" get the fuck out of here with that shit.

          • DM7 legacy 10 years
            reply
            January 16, 2021 12:23 AM

            You don’t know what it’s like in the u.s. shit is broken.

            • reply
              January 16, 2021 1:03 AM

              Sure, that doesn't make a bad joke funny though? It's like "haha bad politics am I right!?"

              It's simply not clever and not funny.

          • reply
            January 16, 2021 12:55 AM

            Come on dude.

            This is a cortex article posted by Shantynews. Nobody promised you they'd all be gaming. Or Funny. Or Not Political.

            You were promised nothing about this content, so complaining about it for these reasons is quite silly.

            56 Shantynews Cortex articles. Seems like you could handle one not meeting your standards of what Shantynews should be?

            Good Day.

            • reply
              January 16, 2021 1:05 AM

              Ok, Let me rephrase.

              All gaming related articles for shanty have been fucking splendid.

              If you can't do really good political ones, don't do them? It could always be flagged as political content as it should be. This site is so much better without it. I can't believe I had it enabled so long.

              • reply
                January 16, 2021 1:17 AM

                I'm going to suggest that you view Cortex Tagged posts in Cortex to prevent further aggravation

                http://chattypics.com/files/thebesttags_2lgi2h102n.png

                • reply
                  January 16, 2021 1:21 AM

                  Comment options:
                  Political:
                  Disabled


                  Doesn't seem like it from this thread?

                  • reply
                    January 16, 2021 1:32 AM

                    these are cortex articles, they are tagged with cortex. they will not be tagged as anything else in the chatty.
                    Its just a headline, but, if you really cant tell by a headline if you want to go further on the Shantynews cortext

                    Do this
                    https://www.shacknews.com/cortex/my-feed & subscribe to Shantynews
                    Then go find a political article in the feed.
                    Click on the tag - and then click "Block"

                    Boom, no more Shantynews political in your cortext feed!



              • reply
                January 16, 2021 1:18 AM

                and I said, "Good Day"

                • reply
                  January 16, 2021 1:24 AM

                  I don't understand the reference, just flag the op as political, as it is and we can all move on.

                  Heck people can berate me in the replies, but I won't see it, it's a win win for everyone.

                  Same for the previous shanty post.

                  • reply
                    January 16, 2021 1:26 AM

                    Go wash your balls and pet a dog

                    • reply
                      January 16, 2021 5:54 AM

                      lol that's such a bizarre thing to say lol

                      Is that a quote from something? lol

                  • reply
                    January 16, 2021 1:33 AM

                    Nope. Cortex posts are marked as Cortex. Additional tagging context provided by Cortex. Please see other post.

                    • reply
                      January 16, 2021 1:37 AM

                      Ok I think I get what you're saying, I'll just disable cortex in comments entirely so I don't see any of it then unfortunately, I prefer my comedy lighthearted.
                      I also blocked political on the cortex end too, I think?

                      Thanks for being helpful, appreciate it man, Thank you.

                      • reply
                        January 16, 2021 1:44 AM

                        its all I can do. I hope it helps.

          • reply
            January 16, 2021 10:04 AM

            Concern trolling is like 50% of what you do here at Shacknews, let's not clutch those pearls too tightly abrasion

            you post contrary shit on topics you don't care about on a daily basis. i guess we could get rid of "concern" and just call what you do 'trolling' if that makes you more comfortable

            • reply
              January 16, 2021 11:40 AM

              I really don't read him that way. He posts a lot of contrary things, but not because he doesn't actually feel the contrary way.

              • reply
                January 16, 2021 3:00 PM

                I don't know, it's very easy for me to believe abrasion looks at threads, sees the popular perspective and then posts counter to it. it's SO COMMON i can't believe he is literally the opposite of everyone else on every major topic

              • reply
                January 16, 2021 9:18 PM

                I still don't understand "concern trolling" in this context, like I'm pretty sure I know what it is and he's just throwing out random words.

        • reply
          January 16, 2021 1:46 PM

          Curious as to what you see as functional.gun control?

      • reply
        January 16, 2021 4:42 AM

        Politics? In MY Shantynews?!

      • reply
        January 16, 2021 5:05 AM

        Im with abrasion in this one. This is clickbait at the wrong time. Is this really the site traffic shack wants?

        • reply
          January 16, 2021 5:56 AM

          remind me again which thread gets the most posts every fucking day in the chatty?

          • reply
            January 16, 2021 6:33 AM

            Reread.

          • reply
            January 16, 2021 6:37 AM

            Yeah but that's one thread not the whole site. The whole website is a mixture of different things but it's mostly focused on gaming news. So what if there's some politics?

            I mean I suppose a Cortex is also similar to "one thread" so I'm not sure where I'm going with this.

          • reply
            January 16, 2021 9:34 AM

            I hope others long for the day when that isn't the case as much as I do.

            • reply
              January 16, 2021 9:35 AM

              Yeah at the very least I'm hoping for some calm after Joe Biden takes over.

              Fuck Donald Trump

          • reply
            January 16, 2021 11:29 AM

            The one we were promised exists solely so that those of us who don't want to read it can "turn on our filters" and not see it, because otherwise "everyone would be posting it everywhere"?

          • reply
            January 16, 2021 1:30 PM

            What gets more attention

            -a mother hugging her children and saying she loves them
            -a train wreck with bodies strewn everywhere, news crew filming it, bystanders watching and commenting, and a gas leak that is approaching a fire.

        • reply
          January 16, 2021 9:19 PM

          Thank you. You can see what it ended up causing too.... Lord what a mess this all became

      • reply
        January 16, 2021 5:58 AM

        Never got the impression that the riffing was exclusive to gaming.

      • reply
        January 16, 2021 7:44 AM

        My mom says there is white people in Australia

      • reply
        January 16, 2021 9:28 AM

        Hey abrasion: no one cares what you think.

        • reply
          January 16, 2021 9:21 PM

          The replies to this subthread and the shit storm that follows, clearly shows I'm not the only one thinking it. :/

    • reply
      January 16, 2021 2:20 AM

      [deleted]

      • reply
        January 16, 2021 6:00 AM

        then don't read it

      • reply
        January 16, 2021 7:59 AM

        yeah if this is your mental health state maybe less internet for you would be a good thing.

    • reply
      January 16, 2021 4:13 AM

      What about an NWO bailout?!

    • reply
      January 16, 2021 4:48 AM

      Fuck off. You can Kickstarter that shit like Rittenhouse bail.

      • reply
        January 16, 2021 6:34 AM

        nra would use gofundme

    • reply
      January 16, 2021 5:57 AM

      shantynews is a cross between the onion and cortex shitposting and may be the only thing that saves the finances of the shack. keep on at it, throw stuff against the wall until it sticks.

      • reply
        January 16, 2021 6:46 AM

        But it’s just too real? Like it’s basically just fake news.

      • reply
        January 16, 2021 6:48 AM

        How does political satire a fake headline keep the lights on? There are no ads to serve. One off page views generate income though good will maybe?

        • reply
          January 16, 2021 7:16 AM

          I imagine most any attempt at revenue generation would depend on a solid, dependable viewer base, which is what briefcase bro has been working tirelessly to generate.

          Basically, any uptick in page views is a Very Good Thing tm, and is something he can use in the future, whether it’s ads or sponsors or something else entirely.

    • reply
      January 16, 2021 7:33 AM

      LOL. But if we're gonna bail out everything else...

    • reply
      January 16, 2021 8:03 AM

      Wow, now you have done it Shanty.

      • reply
        January 16, 2021 9:35 AM

        It's sad that I thought this was real news at first.

        Bravo, whoever thought up the "here's the meaning behind the 1791 figure", because it's stupid enough to sound like something Republicans would do IRL

      • reply
        January 16, 2021 9:36 AM

        He's done it for Shacknews!

      • reply
        January 16, 2021 1:01 PM

        Posted slightly too soon

      • reply
        January 16, 2021 1:31 PM

        Indeed.

    • reply
      January 16, 2021 10:32 AM

      yea i didnt think this was a joke at first because it seems so entirely believable

      • reply
        January 16, 2021 10:39 AM

        That’s the mark of good satire.

        • reply
          January 16, 2021 11:45 AM

          It’s also the mark of a very fucked up reality.

    • reply
      January 16, 2021 10:58 AM

      its going to take me a while to get used to shantynews

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