Cortex Review

Cortex Review

An impartial review of the best Web editor in the whole world


Lorem Ipsum Baddum Doggum

Hello world

Is this thing on


Cortex™ has been a feature of Shacknews for months now, but it is still woefully underused by the Shack Community. I get it, I understand, I really do. It took me a few months to work up the courage to investigate it for myself, but once I finally took the plunge, I learned not only how fun and exciting it could be, I also learned how EASY it was. Easy enough for people like me to use!

If more of you wonderful folks realized the benefits of using Cortex, it would be used by much more than Shacknews Staff and Lola's Carnage Reports announcing that Maddog won Shacknews yet again.

'But what can I do with it', you whine. What do you WANT to do with it? Yes, Cortex is that versatile! You can do that! Movie reviews. Recipes. Game reviews. Opinion pieces. For example, ALL valcan_s posts tagged 'Interesting' would make GREAT Cortex articles. With EMBEDDED VIDEOS so you don't even have to leave the page. Getting it now?

Longevity and accessibility and tags, oh my!

Unlike chatty posts that expire in 18 hours, Cortex posts can be much more easily searched and accessed for later reference, and can be seen by more people. And thanks to something called Domain Authority (included for free), you get the power of Search Engine Optimization behind your articles, and that will drive eyes to your words moreso than your stupid blog or facebook dump. You have access to tags to help it be seen even more, and you can search for articles via tags, just like genuine Shacknews articles!

Ever write a post that you later want to share with friends or family, but it got tagged 'stupid' or 'political' or some shit and you don't want them to have to create an account just to view it? Now you can just send them the Cortex link!

Feeds and more tags

A great example of how I benefit from Cortex is: Pharaoh721 uses it to post movie articles. I subscribe to Pharaoh721, so I won't miss one, like I might if it were just a chatty post. And if I am worried about spoilers and don't want to read a review just yet, it will be easily accessible later, moreso than using Shack Search, winchatty search, or the lolpage 'tag' tag.

Can edit later if you want

For years, y'all have complained about the lack of ability to edit posts. Well, guess what. Make a post worthy of a Cortex article into an actual Cortex article, and you can edit it whenever you want! You can embed a bunch of videos into an article for your later perusal (I do this with music) and add new videos weeks, even months later. One stop music shopping without bookmarks loading your browser down!

Image hosting

Chattypics DNS woes and imgur ads got you down? MANY PEOPLE DO NOT SEEM TO KNOW that they can HOST PICTURES ON CORTEX. For example, below is a picture completely unrelated to this article, used as an example. It is hosted by Cortex.

It really is the best of ALL worlds. So quit being frightened and make YOUR all time great Cortex post TODAY!!!

Review for

It is cute

Posts are much more easily accessible than searching for them in Chatty, you can create a Cortex article of your own with all of the time you save

Posterity! Chatty posts are effectively expired in 18 hours; Cortex is forever

Spammers like it

Can subscribe to feeds and never miss a review from your favourite reviewer

Can be used for image hosting!!! Quit complaining about chattypics

I like to wear a little hat when I hit 'Submit' and pretend I am a Shacknews Editor :)

Can edit posts. Y'all have been begging for this

It is easier than you think, if I can do it then so can you

Domain Authority!!!!!!!! Smart people will understand what that means, I don't

Low fat, low sodium

You get 250 Lolabux Points for every article you create!!!!!


Autoplay music selections currently limited to Baby Baby, Baby Shark, Never Gonna Give You Up, Pink Cadillac, and the entire Creed discography

Not enough mr.sleepy articles

Age gate is too easy to bypass

Can be hard to read if you have really long hair and are sitting by a fan

Produced in a facility that may contain wheat, nuts, soy

From The Chatty
  • reply
    July 4, 2021 7:36 PM

    Cortex Review: Cortex

    Read more: Cortex Review

    • reply
      July 4, 2021 7:39 PM

      I put quite a bit of effort into Cortex posts early on, but I dunno, it just didn't generate the discussions I'd hoped for, maybe?

      I'd still do one if there was something that'd be well suited to it, but I haven't gone as out of my way to write reviews and whatnot.

      • reply
        July 4, 2021 7:44 PM

        This place is weird, badass Evening Reading posts get read but not commented on. Not sure what to do to generate discussion outside of a contest

        • reply
          July 4, 2021 8:44 PM

          I've stopped complaining that 4 lols + 4 infs with no replies does not keep the post from plummeting to the last page; which is #2. YOU SHOULD ALL BE ASHAMED.

        • reply
          July 4, 2021 9:11 PM

          contests are great for generating posts!

          • reply
            July 4, 2021 9:17 PM

            Randomizer help, thinkin bout doing a contest for Cortex posts/reviews, gift card to Steam/PS/Xbox for one person who submits a Cortex review this week. Leaning towards movie reviews, I like movies, but I want the winner to be random, otherwise I will be biased towards, say, horror or Asian movie over a drama, also I don't want to penalize people who maybe don't write as well as somebody else. So how do I keep it unbiased, guess I need a randomizer but I have never did a contest or used one of those

        • reply
          July 4, 2021 11:26 PM

          Change the format of the titles!

          “Dognose posted a new article: Popcorn Chef releasing in Q4 for Nintendo Switch”

          Will get glossed over and not engaged with.

          “Popcorn Chef releasing in Q4 for Nintendo Switch, new article by Dognose”

          Will get comments! It’s journalism 101. Don’t bury the lede!!!!

    • reply
      July 4, 2021 7:47 PM

      Honey I just wonder what you do there in back
      Of your pink Cadillac

      • reply
        July 4, 2021 7:53 PM

        See, the beauty part is, my article sucks NOW. But when I inevitably think of something I wish I had said while at the store tomorrow, holy shit I can change it and add it! Can't do that with chatty posts

      • reply
        July 4, 2021 11:27 PM

        Springsteen lyrics get upvotes.

    • reply
      July 4, 2021 8:23 PM

      I never really got cortex. A piece of writing that takes me away from the chatty isn’t what I want

      • reply
        July 4, 2021 8:25 PM

        It would have been better if it was a little better integrated with chatty. Instead, it was more of an attempt to generate SEO for the site by letting community members write articles for the site.

        • reply
          July 4, 2021 8:46 PM

          Articles get posted in the chatty though? I'm not sure how much more "integration" they could have.

          • reply
            July 4, 2021 8:47 PM

            You have to click into them which is a pretty big barrier when so many active people here use apps exclusively.

            • reply
              July 4, 2021 8:48 PM

              Also still not a great experience when you're using the chatty as a website. Especially since the comment/chatty experience when viewing an article is different than in the actual chatty.

              • reply
                July 4, 2021 9:01 PM

                Oh. OK you just convinced me I don't like Cortex. Deleting the article, have a nice day

                • reply
                  July 4, 2021 9:29 PM


                  • reply
                    July 4, 2021 11:06 PM

                    I feel like you and I and redshak are all missing the point of Cortex. Case in point: Years ago I used to host a tutorial on some popcorn that was created as a throwaway gag but got popular enough that even though I lost the domain, people would ask about it years after it was gone. Now I COULD pay somebody to start a new domain or I could use facebook or some ad-supported shit, but fuck all of that so I didn't. THEN, I figured out Cortex could do EXACTLY what i want and I didn't have to ask anybody for permission or how to do it or pay for it or anything. I can now link right to it if anybody asks. In fact, here

                    How else I'm gonna do that? I don't want all of that integrated into a thread and don't need it as part of chatty, it doesn't get much easier

                    And I say I am probably missing the point too because I don't know if that is what it is for. I didn't think it up, or design it, I was just handed the keys like you and everybody else was, and so I made it do what I wanted it to do and maybe I am abusing it but you know what? Nobody has said anything

                    • reply
                      July 4, 2021 11:10 PM

                      I guess what I am trying to say is... is... is... woof

                      • reply
                        July 4, 2021 11:56 PM

                        I mean that’s basically the perfect use case for cortex, but at the same time I don’t think we can expect recipes or other community miscellania to necessarily make a big splash and really drive discussion, it’s just a nest thing to have.

                        Also, personally when I’m looking through chatty I’m not reading every word everyone says, I’m scrolling and scanning through posts quickly to find something I’m interested in. If someone is sharing a cortex post and I don’t immediately A. Know what it’s about and B. Am interested then I’ll never click through. So there is less chance I’m going to engage with that content than a normal post.

                        • reply
                          July 5, 2021 9:34 AM

                          Content behind a link is a big barrier to entry, sounds stupid but it is. I’d rather read text in the chatty 🤷🏽‍♂️

                    • reply
                      July 4, 2021 11:51 PM

                      Also I did it in minutes! That is a big deal! A huge one! Somebody like you would have done it in seconds. Getting me?

      • reply
        July 4, 2021 8:32 PM

        Bottom of the article takes you right back to chatty, links to reddit or wordpress don't do that >:(

    • reply
      July 4, 2021 8:33 PM

      Tag valcan_s HINT HINT >:(

    • reply
      July 4, 2021 8:52 PM

      THIS is the only thing comes to mind with your little hat pretend editor thing.

    • reply
      July 4, 2021 9:03 PM

      omg review posts give you 500 points as opposed to the usual 250. Suck it Maddog I'ma review everything I do and eat and I will win every day except Friday

      Tomorrow: Some noodles

      • reply
        July 4, 2021 9:09 PM

        lol I hope you actually do that. You're funny as hell even when you don't try lol

        • reply
          July 4, 2021 9:19 PM

          I have SIX kinds of noodles in my pantry, that is 3000 points RIGHT THERE >:(

    • reply
      July 4, 2021 9:27 PM

      mom says i'm not allowed to use cortex anymore

      • reply
        July 4, 2021 9:33 PM

        That is what pseudonyms are for! Mods will ban you for alt account but still

    • reply
      July 4, 2021 9:29 PM

      I have already edited this article, on the fly. Anybody reading it after this post will never know I wasn't creative enough to include it the first time. YOU CAN DO THIS TOO.

    • reply
      July 5, 2021 7:43 AM

      Cortex momentum seemed to take a huge hit when the unfortunate incident with TMWTB happened. I still like the idea. Maybe Cortex posts should last longer than 18 hours in chatty.

      • reply
        July 5, 2021 9:17 AM

        There's a lot of UI work that could be done around discovery of Cortex articles that doesn't mean shit if people are primarily using the chatty via desktop and mobile apps. Besides lack of discovery and engagement it's often hard to tell whether a particular cortex article will actually be informative or basically a shitpost.

        • reply
          July 5, 2021 9:23 AM

          Werd tries to bridge the gap by embedding the article in the comments with a split screen but it's limited since it's UWP and the browser in UWP is old EdgeHTML which is kinda shit.

          • reply
            July 5, 2021 9:29 AM

            have you considered a non-uwp version? i know i know

            • reply
              July 5, 2021 9:33 AM

              I have. It's not going to happen. At least not by me. At best, it might get updated to WinUI 3.0 whenever that actually comes out. If that happens, it'll be a Chromium based embedded browser finally.

        • reply
          July 5, 2021 9:24 AM

          Hmmm. It shouldn’t too hard to grab a string of the 250 or so characters of a cortex post and have those as a preview in the automated Chatty post. That plus a 36 timer might help a lot within confines of the existing Chatty.

          • reply
            July 5, 2021 9:26 AM

            I think the functionality to write a summary is already there, people just don't do it

            • reply
              July 5, 2021 9:31 AM

              It is there but it's not particularly obvious what it will do.


              Also, it's a single line editor instead of multi-line. Probably further adding to the confusion even if you are familiar with Chatty. You literally can't add a line break in it with the keyboard.

    • reply
      July 5, 2021 9:24 AM

      I think the platform is good but the majority of us don’t like to write more than a few sentences. If you like to write articles then it certainly should be used.

    • reply
      July 8, 2021 9:52 PM

      helll yeahhhh

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