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A Hard Look at Genital Jousting: A Tug at Greatness?

I unzip the full package from Free Lives and Devolver Digital.

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I’m not gonna beat around the bush here. This is a game about wieners. Genital Jousting uses a penis as a stand-in for any number of persons or items. The core gameplay centers on maneuvering your penis’ head (or in some cases, your butt/balls) around virtual worlds and competitive arenas. As you direct the head, the shaft and nuts will be dragged along. If the subject matter is concerning to you already, it would be best if you jumped off this boat now, because it’s gonna sail into some darker waters.

Developed by the folks at Free Lives, the team behind the exceptional retro-styled action shooter BroForce, Genital Jousting is at a bit of a physics sandbox at the core, or at least a sandbox full of wieners. The game presents its subject matter without any hint of subtlety. Within moments of launching the game, you will be greeted by a rather meek disclaimer and then immediately be subjected to a big bag of physics-enabled dicks falling onto the platform that is the main menu.

Genital Jousting began life as a Steam Early Access title. Upon launch, it offered multiplayer modes that were available both online and offline. With today’s update and official release, the team at Free Lives are including an all new Story Mode for players. While I had access to the game for about a week prior to today, I was unable to successfully find an populated multiplayer lobby to try out any of the multiplayer content offered. I did not have another person locally to give the offline modes a try, either. Because of this, I will focus on my experience with the new Story Mode.

The Story of Me

Genital Jousting’s Story Mode presents the story of John, a near-thirtysomething wiener struggling with an existential crisis. The entirety of the experience is conveyed by the action on screen and by an omniscient narrator. The female narrator gives the proceedings a bit of a Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy vibe. As John is just a wiener, he has no real face, eyes, or other means of communicating emotions or reactions, so the narration is a necessity for fleshing out the character.

John could be any one of us. He appears to have his life in order with a steady job, his own place, and a functional social life. As is often the case in modern society, John finds himself stuck in routine. He wonders about his purpose in life or why he continues to be single. The modern man’s struggle with existentialism has already been covered (and with much more skill) by books such as Fight Club, but this is the first time it’s been done entirely with wieners.

In the place of people, you will find big juicy lap hogs as stand-ins. Literally everyone in the game, male or female, is a penis. I will admit that there were often times that I could not tell if a given character was a male or female penis, unless they were being directly interacted with. I’m unsure if there is an implied commentary with this design choice, but I found it rather pleasant that everyone was more or less equal other than their action towards each other.

A Regular John

John lives in a regular place, with a bed, shower, kitchenette, and an extra room for his computer. His office is like any you would find out in the real world, with desks, computers, and fluorescent lighting. You will be tasked with navigating a few pounds of tube steak through John’s house and around town as part of the game’s greater narrative.

John is increasingly unhappy with his current situation and feels burdened by his impending high school reunion. The game lightly delves into John’s high school history via several flashbacks, all of which revolve around his interpretation of slights against him by his peers. In the present day, he feels he must arrive at the reunion with a lady in hand so that he can either impress or one-up the attending group.

The bulk of Genital Jousting’s Story Mode revolves around John’s attempts to get himself a date for the reunion. Despite a growing sense of self-doubt and hopelessness, John pushes forward through one excruciating failure after another. Expect lots of wienering about town, working out at the gym, using the penis version of Tinder, and ingesting lots of alcohol via the butthole.

Let Me Be Your Backdoor Man

In a game that is ostensibly built around the penis, there is a monstrous amount of time spent keistering a conglomeration of just about anything you can think of. Like anyone else, John needs to brush his teeth, though his approach is a bit different than mine. John simply spreads his nuts and absorbs the toothbrush, which then jumps to life and really kind of jackhammers whatever happens to be inside his large intestine. I mean, there could be teeth up there, I guess.

I found myself having a really good time experiencing all the jokes found in the small details around the physics interactions and the heavy supply of non-subtle dick jokes. Because I’m still 13 years old, I find a wiener smoking cigarettes to be pretty cool. The greaser-esque wieners that loiter in the town’s alleys and street corners make me chuckle every time I encounter them. Not everything works to proper comedic effect and many of the gameplay interactions are less than stellar, but as a whole (hole), the experience was pleasant enough for me. Well, except for the John Wayne Bobbit stuff.

Nuts (And Butts) and Bolts

As a PC game, it checks all the important boxes that you would like to see. It runs very smoothly and looks pretty good for what it is. While I mostly used the Xbox One S controller, the keyboard and mouse input was fine. While I had lots of difficulty finding populated multiplayer games, the few I participated in were free of latency and everything loaded quickly. A small installation footprint means you can download and install it quickly almost anywhere for a quick party game, assuming you have enough controllers.

The multiplayer modes and offerings are plentiful and more than a few of them are downright excellent. My biggest issue is that many of the game types begin and end so quickly that it is incredibly hard (lol) to tell what is going on half the time. I often had no idea what I was supposed to do at the start of several of the matches. Generally, most of them revolve around splitting your opponents backside with the head of your penis, but a few others offered nice departures. The wiener dog wrangling game in particular was really funny and fun to play.

The game is seeing a price increase to $6.99 in tandem with its official 1.0 release. I personally found the story mode to be worthy of that entry fee. If this is the kind of thing you could see your friends playing at a party, the new price is a no-brainer. While a non-insignificant portion of the enjoyment comes from the shock factor, there is enough going on here to justify the asking price once that novelty has gone soft. A case of beer and 7 consenting friends could make Genital Jousting a real backdoor smash. This really could be the Shacknews Chatty Game of the Year 2018...

Contributing Tech Editor

From The Chatty

  • reply
    January 18, 2018 6:00 AM

    Chris Jarrard posted a new article, A Hard Look at Genital Jousting: A Tug at Greatness?

    • reply
      January 18, 2018 6:14 AM

      NWS for people with more picky work places.

      I can't believe this was actually put on the front page.

    • reply
      January 18, 2018 6:18 AM

      The 2018 review we need. Where is the live stream??

    • reply
      January 18, 2018 6:23 AM

      Such a great headline.

    • reply
      January 18, 2018 6:28 AM

      This is truly the best year for video games!

      https://farm5.staticflickr.com/4668/25725323288_7fc5f343f2_o.jpg

      credit to Goblin au for this work of art!

    • reply
      January 18, 2018 7:32 AM

      They sent a poet.

      • reply
        January 18, 2018 7:44 AM

        And thus Chatty integration with the front page was achieved, by taking our immature dick jokes to the masses.

        • reply
          January 18, 2018 8:21 AM

          Yes, it’s a clickbait title and it centers around juvenile humor. But let’s say the article gains traction on Reddit or Digg (or whatever) and a bunch of people say “oh crap Shacknews is still around?!?!?” and click the link and come to the site.

          It’s a crude humor, but I don’t run this place and it’s not my job to drive new blood here. If the occasional silly article is what it takes to catch the big, wide internet’s attention (“go viral”), that’s probably a good thing for this community.

          • reply
            January 18, 2018 8:33 AM

            Yes. If other sites point to this as evidence of the homophobic and boys club mentality being alive and well in gaming, there will be a good chance of going viral.

            Otherwise, there is nothing notable here. A bunch of dick jokes about a game that didn't deserve a front page review.

            • reply
              January 18, 2018 8:39 AM

              You have a point.

            • reply
              January 18, 2018 8:44 AM

              You know when conservatives or older people talk about how ridiculous PC culture is and special snowflake shit? They’re referring to stuff like this. This article/game shows a homophobic mentality. Really? You think dudes who are insecure about their masculinity/sexuality would play a game revolving around playing with other people’s penises and butt holes?

              • reply
                January 18, 2018 8:46 AM

                Honestly, I don't know what makes you guys think dicks are funny and possesses people to draw them on everything.

                If this was a game about female genitalia we would be having a completely different discussion if it even got reviewed.

                If it was an entire article talking about boob physics, the site would be rightly criticized for running it.

                • reply
                  January 18, 2018 9:00 AM

                  Because dicks and vaginas are funny looking.

                  • reply
                    January 18, 2018 10:10 AM

                    hah, bullshit. it's because we're acculturated to feeling shame about dicks and vaginas. shame is mitigated with humor.

                    • reply
                      January 18, 2018 10:12 AM

                      This is Bevus and Butthead teenager humor. Dick huh huh huh. It’s funny for all of a second then us just sad.

                      • reply
                        January 18, 2018 10:17 AM

                        exactly. and for what it's worth, i'm 100% behind it. but DK's assertion that the humor comes from something extrinsic to us is complete bullshit. i can laugh (even harder) at dick and butt jokes while accepting the reason for my laughter is the shame i was taught to feel about them.

                • reply
                  January 18, 2018 9:02 AM

                  I don't even own a dick

                  • reply
                    January 18, 2018 9:09 AM

                    I rent mine.

                    Well technically it's a rent to own, but I'm thinking about just trading up and doing a 2 year lease.

                  • reply
                    January 18, 2018 5:12 PM

                    ...let alone multiple dicks to own a dickrack

                • reply
                  January 18, 2018 9:59 AM

                  I'd play a vulvic game

            • reply
              January 18, 2018 8:45 AM

              How is this article or game in any way homophobic? Boys club, sure. But I don’t think there is anything in the article that is homophobic.

              • reply
                January 18, 2018 8:50 AM

                "Let Me Be Your Backdoor Man" and the paragraph under it.

                Additionally, probably the fact this is a game where....

                Generally, most of them revolve around splitting your opponents backside with the head of your penis....


                I guess it could be a run of the mill anal joke, but even then. It is a crude joke for teenage boys at best.

                • reply
                  January 18, 2018 8:52 AM

                  Anal sex is had by heterosexuals, homosexuals, and bisexuals.

                  • reply
                    January 18, 2018 8:56 AM

                    Fair enough, but that takes a fair amount of ignoring the usual connotation. As I said, it could be a run of the mill anal joke. But, given the dearth of other sex jokes reviewed/mentioned and the usual cultural connotation of this kind of reference, I don't think it is a leap to see the implication.

                    And, let's face it, a game all about being a penis going around having heterosexual interactions would get a different kind of criticism around here wouldn't it?

                    • foo
                      reply
                      January 18, 2018 9:07 AM

                      did you fall off your trike when you were a child and break your funnybone or something? jesus fucking christ

                      • foo
                        reply
                        January 18, 2018 9:10 AM

                        you know, i give briefcase a lot of shit, sometimes deserved, sometimes undeserved, but i still respect him and his decisions. in this case, there is nothing wrong with this article. not only does a well written article based on humor drive hits, but it also gets people reading the site, gets the name out there, etc.

                        while i disagree with the clickbait articles/videos, i love this stuff.

                        • reply
                          January 18, 2018 10:11 AM

                          yeah but you work for Foxnews.

                          • foo
                            reply
                            January 18, 2018 10:45 AM

                            because i am fair and balanced

                    • reply
                      January 18, 2018 9:53 AM

                      I've been reading this thread without clicking the link. I finally clicked the link, didn't read a word, and saw two penises (sp? Penii?) smashing a raft.

                      I bust out laughing, its so ridiculous. To take something like this so seriously, to argue about it as sexist and homophobic, holy shit I feel bad for you. I don't care even care if society one day deems you right in your ultra-PC stance. I'll take the laughs over that stick up my ass anyday.

                • reply
                  January 18, 2018 11:07 AM

                  The line about splitting backsides is a literal description of the game's core mechanic. What do you want them to do, like about how the game works?

                  • reply
                    January 18, 2018 11:10 AM

                    Acknowledge its implications.

                    Is the only valid response to this game laughter? Because locker room talk or something?

                    • reply
                      January 18, 2018 11:24 AM

                      I still don't follow I guess.

                      Are you implying that we should be condemning this game? Or refusing to acknowledge it?

                      Or do you mean that the review should be more serious and stuff?

                      • reply
                        January 18, 2018 11:25 AM

                        Because I for one am really not interested in Crabs' opinion on the larger social implications of the existence of Genital Jousting.

                        • reply
                          January 18, 2018 11:33 AM

                          It doesn't have to be larger social implications. But, if this is going to a site with a conscience that shames pewdiepie for detestable behavior, it would be nice if that attitude was reflected in its writing/choice of articles.

                          I think there should have at least been a mention that there are some possibly questionable rape allusions in the game, but for the sake of the review they would give the developer the benefit of the doubt and simply warn the reader that there are consent/rape jokes so maybe it isn't the game for them if they thought it was just harmless dick shaped minigames or something. I dunno. Some acknowledgement and a NSFW tag.

                          • reply
                            January 18, 2018 11:38 AM

                            there's possibly rape, racism, sexism and murder in this game.
                            there's possibly not.
                            how about until you know for sure, you don't comment on things?

                            • reply
                              January 18, 2018 12:11 PM

                              There is no outright murder in the game, though it does have some Bobbit moments. Also some hallucinations that remind me of things seen in the Big Lebowski (specifically the parts where the nihilists snap the giant scissors at The Dude).

        • reply
          January 18, 2018 8:47 AM

          It is a game about dicks. Did you expect us to not cover it?

          • reply
            January 18, 2018 8:51 AM

            I guess I expected a stupid Chatty meme would stay a stupid chatty meme.

            • reply
              January 18, 2018 8:55 AM

              Sorry to disappoint you.

            • reply
              January 18, 2018 8:59 AM

              Oh jesus fucking christ do you smell your own farts, too? Lighten up.

            • reply
              January 18, 2018 9:00 AM

              Isn’t it exhausting to be a wet blanket all the time?

            • reply
              January 18, 2018 9:10 AM

              It's a new game from a respected developer. Yeah, it's about wieners, but that doesn't exclude it from coverage. I felt like including the shout out to the Chatty because I tend to write things with the Chatty in mind as the audience.

              Nothing in the article was intended to be homophobic and I certainly don't remember any parts of the story that were homophobic (there is never a homosexual encounter at any point in the story).

              • reply
                January 18, 2018 9:22 AM

                Just because it is a "respected developer" doesn't mean anything. People rightly went after Gearbox for sexist shit. For some reason people decided this doesn't deserve actual criticism for its subject matter because "dick jokes are funny."

                Oh well. Won't be a hard article to find if anyone ever wants to call shack a hypocrite in the future when they do a soap box editorial.

                • reply
                  January 18, 2018 9:25 AM

                  So the game is sexist simply because it is about penis?

                  • reply
                    January 18, 2018 9:49 AM

                    Gaming culture is one where teabag, rape, and homophobic slurs are part of the everyday toxic multiplayer experience.

                    You review a game where penetration is its core mechanic for defeating other players are you believe it should be examined for at least if it is trying to be satire?

                    This is the closes we get to analysis " I’m unsure if there is an implied commentary with this design choice, but I found it rather pleasant that everyone was more or less equal other than their action towards each other."

                    Well, at least everyone is a penis and that is the highest form of praise right?

                    "The bulk of Genital Jousting’s Story Mode revolves around John’s attempts to get himself a date for the reunion."

                    So it is actually a sexuality driven plot, where the protagonist is a male penis (oddly not redundant).

                    Of course the fact that in the multiplayer "most of them revolve around splitting your opponents backside with the head of your penis" and your consenting friend joke at the end doesn't have a rape implication either?

                    I don't think it actually takes much effort to see sexism in the game. Probably needs argument that it isn't if you want people to take it as anything more than an immature joke by the same culture of gamers that filled the galaxies of Spore with penis monsters.

                    • reply
                      January 18, 2018 10:00 AM

                      pretty good review. how much did you play the game

                      • reply
                        January 18, 2018 10:02 AM

                        the same amount he has played PUBG

                      • reply
                        January 18, 2018 10:11 AM

                        I read his review. Just followed the same facts with reasonable questions instead of giggling.

                        • reply
                          January 18, 2018 10:14 AM

                          try giggling next time

                    • reply
                      January 18, 2018 10:17 AM

                      John attempts to get a date for the reunion (among other things) so that he can make his former peers think he is succeeding at life. There is nothing sexual about it. I didn't go deeper into everything that happens because I'd rather not spoil the entirety of the story.

                      Consenting joke was added because when you play the game, everyone must choose to consent in the main menus before any action begins.

                      At least play these games before you hop on the soapbox.

                      • reply
                        January 18, 2018 10:39 AM

                        The game itself makes a consent joke to offset its rape implications.

                        Good to know. You are the reviewer. I'm counting on you to have played the game. I only responded to your review.

                        • reply
                          January 18, 2018 10:46 AM

                          Good lord you are so far up your own ass that lump in your throat is your fuckin' nose.

                • reply
                  January 18, 2018 9:31 AM

                  Dude, it's not your website. "If anyone ever wants to call shack a hypocrite in the future" it's not your problem.

                • reply
                  January 18, 2018 9:40 AM

                  What’s sexist about this game?

                  • reply
                    January 18, 2018 9:43 AM

                    The egregious lack of vaginal scissoring DLC

                    • reply
                      January 18, 2018 9:50 AM

                      Genital Jousting 2: Clitoral Boogaloo

                • reply
                  January 18, 2018 9:48 AM

                  *cringe*

                  • reply
                    January 18, 2018 10:00 AM

                    Its so cringey. Its like watching a guy butt into a hen party to tell them their attire is inappropriate and/or their conversation is sexist.

                    • reply
                      January 18, 2018 10:01 AM

                      It's really bad. I feel bad for someone so pedantic.

                • reply
                  January 18, 2018 9:49 AM

                  I wish you would go back to not posting. That month and a half was so peaceful.

                  • reply
                    January 18, 2018 11:02 AM

                    I totally welcomed this dude back happily but yeah, I'm starting to get the feeling he is just a drain on pretty much any topic he involves himself in.

                    • reply
                      January 18, 2018 11:09 AM

                      To his credit he has made some great contributions in a lot of the social issues threads recently (see: Aziz). And he enjoys talking about hybrid animals like grolar bears so I like him for that.

                      • reply
                        January 18, 2018 11:11 AM

                        Every thread I post in doesn't have to be an examination of me as a person. Sometimes we will agree. Sometimes we won't. It happens.

                        • reply
                          January 18, 2018 11:22 AM

                          It doesn't have to, and it probably shouldn't, but at a certain point you must understand that people are going to do that.

                        • reply
                          January 18, 2018 1:26 PM

                          gamergater, lawyer

                          • reply
                            January 18, 2018 1:28 PM

                            Was not a gamergater. I didn't get on either of those trains, so it probably will get me labeled by both "sides" or whatever.

                  • reply
                    January 18, 2018 5:10 PM

                    Dissenting opinion is good for the Shack. Everyone gets piled on once in awhile or this place would just be filled with sycophants.

                    • reply
                      January 18, 2018 7:11 PM

                      I agree. There's a difference between having a dissenting opinion and being a wet fucking blanket contrarian asswipe who just has to argue on literally any and every topic.

                      Regardless if that person has played/read/watched the topic being discussed. That's called being fucking annoying and a detriment to the community.

                • reply
                  January 18, 2018 11:05 AM

                  Man I defended you in another thread last night and then you've got to go and do something like this. Stop this silly crusade, it's not worth it.

                  Personally I think this game looks stupid as hell but whatever.

              • reply
                January 18, 2018 11:02 AM

                Are you friends with a homosexual? All you need is to have had a homosexual roommate.

            • foo
              reply
              January 18, 2018 9:11 AM

              dicks aren't a chatty meme. they're a real thing on human bodies. they do stuff.

              • reply
                January 18, 2018 9:12 AM

                The 2018 meme.

                • foo
                  reply
                  January 18, 2018 9:13 AM

                  you put 2 words and numbers together, expecting me to know what it means

                  • reply
                    January 18, 2018 9:16 AM

                    There was a prediction that all of the chatty would be gay in 2018. I think [fry] made it like 10 years ago.

                    • reply
                      January 18, 2018 9:17 AM

                      I think his use was meant to be prophylactic and not prophetic.

                      • reply
                        January 18, 2018 9:18 AM

                        It was meant to be homophobic regardless of your cute puns. Go read it again.

                        • reply
                          January 18, 2018 10:07 AM

                          Actually, if you read it again, it was meant to harsh on guys that were far too critical of women being women. It began as a rebuttal to "elbows to pointy"

                          • reply
                            January 18, 2018 10:10 AM

                            But, it made that criticism by disparaging gay people.

                            • reply
                              January 18, 2018 10:24 AM

                              Oh, I thought you said what it was meant for. Didn't realize goalposts were moving.

                              • reply
                                January 18, 2018 10:41 AM

                                It was mean to be homophobic. The goalposts aren't moving. He used the other f word in posts about that meme.

                                He was attacking the masculinity of the chatty posters by saying they were going to become gay. Even in the context of criticizing them for being too harsh on the appearance of women, it was conveyed through purposefully homophobic language.

                    • foo
                      reply
                      January 18, 2018 9:18 AM

                      man i can't remember 45 minutes ago, let alone something fry wrote 10 years ago

                      • reply
                        January 18, 2018 9:28 AM

                        It's been surprisingly absent given how often it would come up in prior years. I still can't get used to it being 2018.

                        • foo
                          reply
                          January 18, 2018 9:32 AM

                          i type 2017 every fucking day on accident and it's driving me crazy

                    • reply
                      January 18, 2018 9:48 AM

                      And look at this, he was fucking right!

                • reply
                  January 18, 2018 9:20 AM

                  Humans have probably been sharing jokes about dicks since the advent of language.

            • reply
              January 18, 2018 9:19 AM

              Hey, if we can't have fun in the chatty AND on the front page, what's the point?

            • reply
              January 18, 2018 9:43 AM

              ...sigh. Life must be really hard for you.

            • reply
              January 18, 2018 11:00 AM

              You really need to lighten up. Not everything is so serious. Not everything is meant for you. Maybe you aren't the target audience for this story. Maybe skip over it if you don't like it next time. There's a lot of other content out there in the great big internet for you to consume (including here at Shacknews) maybe instead of shitting all over other people's harmless fun, and looking for something to be annoyed with, just skip reading it.

              • reply
                January 18, 2018 11:29 AM

                I got the "lighten up" response when I brought up the TS date rape channel too. Eh. Especially given the change in tone around the country on these things, I am not going to feel bad about it.

                • reply
                  January 18, 2018 11:31 AM

                  Just because there is a penis in a game doesnt mean there is rape and homophobia involved. You don't need to ALWAYS jump to these conclusions. Not everything is nefarious. This seems to be much different from a date rape channel on Teamspeak?

                  • reply
                    January 18, 2018 11:35 AM

                    I wrote above where I thought the homophobia and rape implications were in all of this. I can see people disagreeing, but I said what they were beyond merely the phallic theme. It isn't like this game is Bejewelled with penises replacing all the gems, the review makes that much clear.

                    • reply
                      January 18, 2018 11:49 AM

                      My point was more "if you don't get it and think it's stupid, maybe just don't comment on it" you tend to play the victim all the time saving people shackpile you but I mean, posts like this where you are reading WAY too much into something that's not really offensive is why. You make a huge, giant deal over things that aren't such a big deal. So what if there are penises fighting. Clearly you think that's stupid and offensive. So don't play the game and don't read the article. Or read the article and roll your eyes and move on. There are WAY more important hills to die on these days. This is intended to be friendly advice. Over the years I have learned that the internet is a place where people love to argue for the sake of arguing and you seem like you fit in with that sometimes. Just stop and ask yourself if it's worth wasting an afternoon arguing over a harmless penis game. I'd wager it is not.

                      Penises are funny. Vaginas are funny. Hell, boobs can be funny too! They just are. No amount of arguing is going to change that. Some people will agree, some will not.

                      • reply
                        January 18, 2018 1:54 PM

                        worth wasting an afternoon

                        He's been at this thread since 9am cst. lol.

                    • foo
                      reply
                      January 18, 2018 11:53 AM

                      ok, so you don't like it. got it.

                    • reply
                      January 18, 2018 12:07 PM

                      Jumping to conclusions about games you've never played is kind of your thing.

                    • reply
                      January 18, 2018 12:12 PM

                      Do you have to take on the shack on nearly everything?

                    • reply
                      January 18, 2018 12:17 PM

                      Dude come on, you are proving Grendel right. Don't do that.

                    • reply
                      January 18, 2018 1:29 PM

                      Bedonged

            • reply
              January 18, 2018 11:32 AM

              It's not a meme, it's reality!

            • reply
              January 18, 2018 12:05 PM

              Dude, are you fucking serious?

          • reply
            January 18, 2018 9:14 AM

            You've got this game covered like a Jimmy hat

          • reply
            January 18, 2018 10:52 AM

            I stood by when the DICKtator banned porn and I got more creative when "hambeast" ruffled a few skirts. I plead with you though briefcase, please don't take our love of the cock away.

        • reply
          January 18, 2018 9:12 AM

          Why do you have to be so hard on the matter?

          • reply
            January 18, 2018 9:51 AM

            seems nuts to be such a dick about it

            • reply
              January 18, 2018 9:55 AM

              Sometimes you need to just grab life by the balls and enjoy the silly little things like this.

              • reply
                January 18, 2018 10:55 AM

                GO NINERS GO GIANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                • reply
                  January 18, 2018 11:04 AM

                  Would you rather 60 Niners or one Hard Giant?

                  • reply
                    January 18, 2018 11:06 AM

                    wow, that was really good.

    • reply
      January 18, 2018 8:02 AM

      My office gave this to our owner's son last year (he's in sales here) and it went over pretty well.

    • reply
      January 18, 2018 8:05 AM

      Shacknews 2018 GOTY

    • reply
      January 18, 2018 8:06 AM

      Funny article, gg

    • reply
      January 18, 2018 8:11 AM

      Great review of a weird game

    • reply
      January 18, 2018 8:28 AM

      lol, I had no idea that it was made by the Broforce guys.

      • reply
        January 18, 2018 9:19 AM

        And yet...it somehow makes sense.

    • reply
      January 18, 2018 9:23 AM

      i dunno about GOTY 2018, but definitely an early contender for Shacknews Article of the Year 2018

    • reply
      January 18, 2018 9:28 AM

      Its destiny!

    • reply
      January 18, 2018 9:58 AM

      thanks for the story mode review.

    • reply
      January 18, 2018 10:09 AM

      i'll never get to play this split-screen on a PS4, will i? :(

      • reply
        January 18, 2018 10:19 AM

        Console version are in the works, IIRC.

        • reply
          January 18, 2018 12:43 PM

          This is made for Wii U.

    • reply
      January 18, 2018 10:23 AM

      A stroke of genius.

    • reply
      January 18, 2018 12:03 PM

      LOL, the title for this article is pure poetry.

    • reply
      January 18, 2018 3:13 PM

      tl;dr too long; didn't rape

      • reply
        January 19, 2018 12:40 AM

        Stop all the rape y'all! Stop the muthafuckin rape! One more rape?? No more rape! No more rape!

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      January 18, 2018 3:56 PM

      Thank you very much for this.

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      January 18, 2018 4:19 PM

      Free Lives is hosting a sort of "Meet the developers" stream, only 1 penis shown so far, also look like a bunch of cool guys.

      http://store.steampowered.com/app/469820/Genital_Jousting/

      Through Steam streaming because Twitch banned their game or something.