COVID-19 congratulates Sony on sell out crowds for Spider-Man: No Way Home Theater Release

COVID-19 congratulates Sony on sell out crowds for Spider-Man: No Way Home Theater Release

"We are Thankful that Sony chose to release this film in theaters. Looking forward to meeting your family for the hoildays"


The pandemic isn’t over, but Sony still continues its trend of releasing big triple AAA super hero movies regardless of the state of rising COVID cases.  We reached out to the Head of Sony Pictures, Tony Vinciquerra for comment.

“We thought about releasing Spider Man: No Way Home digitally, via on-demand or a streaming service, but then we thought, But Money? Ya know?”

Fans packed theaters shoulder to shoulder, as tickets sold out for the latest MCU film, which is only EXCLUSIVLY in movie theaters. The Spokesperson representing the virus, Mr. COVID had some things to says at a press conference today.

“We are pleased with the turn out of fans for Sony’s latest and greatest film of all time. We’re happy to report a surge of COVID will be on the way home just in time for the holidays! We’d like to continue to thank Sony Pictures and the Republican party for their support and aid. See you all in the new year”

With fans not wearing masks, unable to social distance and screaming at anything that throws back to past MCU or Marvel films in general, things look pretty good for COIVD-19 this Christmas.


 MCU fans piled in like sardines into theaters, only to rip off their mask, scream and point to the thing they saw in that other movie that one time. We have a live shot of people reactions to the entire film below minus the screaming of course.


We asked the President of Sony Pictures about the press conference held by Mr.COVID.

“Look, if you’re sick or think you might be sick you shouldn’t go to see Spider Man: No Way Home on December 17th, exclusively in theathers, and you shouldn’t’ be buying the Limited Edition Peter Parker Memorable cup to showcase your fandom for only 32.99 with unlimited refills exclusively at AMC locations. It’s not up to us for people to be safe and responsible.”

We followed up with a question about the select few who are immunocompromised, Tony Vinciquerra repsoded.

"If you're going to risk dying to see a movie, there's no better one than Spider-Man: No Way Home, exclusively in movie theathers dec 17th."

If you absolutely can’t wait to see the latest pile of MCU nostalgia, pick a time & theater that will be at low capacity, wear a mask, and keep 6ft. God save us all.


From The Chatty
    • reply
      December 17, 2021 6:34 PM

      If you're vaccinated and boostered there's no need to stay home and wait for release. Get out and live life.
      Don't be a joyless shutin - get out and get on with your life. Enjoy shared experiences like this which you'll never get at home.

      I'm not a covid denier, and I don't celebrate anyone's death.

      • reply
        December 17, 2021 9:57 PM

        If this was still delta I'd agree, but we still aren't sure about vaccine efficacy against omicron, even for people with a booster. I know someone that just got COVID after their booster, mid-20s, not doing great. If this is as infectious as some people think, the entire US population could be infected in 6-12 weeks if we don't take steps to mitigate it. If you're vaxed and masked it might be alright, but it's still a greater risk with many more unknowns than it was a month or so ago. The biggest issue is that even if it's 1/10th as severe, if it's 5x more contagious then hospitalizations/deaths will still be much higher than we've seen before. Is all this stuff frustrating/annoying/draining? Yes. Should we get lax right now just because you're vaccinated and we're tired of dealing with it? Definitely not. It's still not just for you, it's for the rest of the population. If you were asymptomatic and infected two other people in the theatre, they infect two, rinse/repeat, you could be the impetus for someone's death. I don't think it's the healthiest way to live thinking like that constantly, but it's the situation we're in.

        • reply
          December 18, 2021 9:20 AM

          The Narrator: Absolutely no steps were taken to mitigate it.

          • reply
            December 18, 2021 9:42 AM

            Heh, some of us have definitely done what we can. But it still feels like a significant number of people aren't doing anything at all. I still see people without masks in SoCal even with the mandate back right now and signs everywhere.

            • reply
              December 18, 2021 12:28 PM

              I don't know how to solve this problem. I get that we all can't stay in our homes lock the doors and not go anywhere ever again, but at the same time running around like there is no pandemic and everything is back to normal is not the answer either.

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