I played a wealth of games at PAX West 2022, but none quite as chaotic (in all the right ways) as Goat Simulator 3. While there was never a Goat Simulator 2 — with the game’s name being a clever joke — the number three winds up feeling fitting for the new Goat Simulator game as I found it packs in three times the amount of chaos as its predecessor.
To start, I was given free range to explore a farm area in the game and do whatever I felt like, including headbutting strangers and licking objects like barrels to drag them around for no reason outside of my own amusement, similar to the first game.
Maps have different areas with mission objectives for you to find, and these missions are where the game starts to feel more expansive and full of surprises than the original Goat Simulator. One mission standout involved an angry granny in a rocking chair throwing yarn balls at my mischievous little goat (the same goat as the first game, Pilgor).
Every time a yarn ball would land, my goat would fall over ragdoll style and I’d need to scramble to get back up again... only to get hit again with yarn as the granny laughed at my predicament. Once I was able to get close enough, I was able to headbutt her and put her reign of yarn-based terror to an end.
As a reward for completing the first part of that mission, a secret basement area opened up in the house nearby. Entering this area, the game transformed into an old-school Doom level but with multiple granny foes as enemies, waiting around every corner ready to pummel me with yarn.
By making it through to the end of this Doom-style level, I was able to unlock a cosmetic that’s essentially my goat wearing a granny, rocking chair and all, on its back and being able to control and use the granny’s yarn-throwing attack to cause further mayhem and chaos.
Another mission allowed me to restore a machine capable of increasing or decreasing my goat’s size however much I wanted. While I wasn’t able to spend the amount of time needed to increase the size of my goat to that of a kaiju as I’d intended, I was able to see that it’s possible at the very least, and the idea makes me even more eager to get my hands on the game once it’s released on November 17.
Other highlights include being able to drive cars and tractors and run people over, surf the electrical wires and become electrified, use a weapon to shoot fireworks at people, fertilize plants and “baa” at them to make them grow like beanstalks high into the air, jump on trampolines, and much, much more. Adding to the “3” in Goat Simulator 3, the game will also offer co-op where up to three of your friends can join you as goats and wreak havoc.
I didn’t get to test out co-op, so I’m wondering if myself and three friends can use the aforementioned machine to turn all of our goats into kaijus. Apparently, according to the game’s key features as listed on the Epic Games Store, you can even turn into a goldfish so it certainly seems likely given the game operates on the rule of there being no rules.
It’s just freedom and chaos all the way through, and I loved every minute of my time with Goat Simulator 3.
Again, Goat Simulator 3 will be released on November 17 and will be available on Xbox One, Series X|S, PS4, PS5, and Windows PC.