Asif announced a new line of products for the Shack Shop. Our Shack Analytics based on Chatty search showed us that while Shackers liked our more expensive and high quality T-Shirts, like the Classic, Classic Mini, and 20th Anniversary shirts, there was a gap in our product line. Shackers are smart buyers and today we have the products for you...
I can't do this. Shacknews has been losing money for years. Asif just hired me. What he didn't tell me was that the company was on the verge of bankruptcy! I guess he spent all the money on the E3 booth. We can't afford our AWS bill, but if we can sell enough stuff today we can make it to E3. I am going to try to make lemonade out of this turd sandwich. So today, I really hope you open up your hearts and wallets to us by buying these new products.
Behold a Signed Picture of Lilliana. For only $5, I will sign this picture of my cat Lilliana. Do the needful. For Shacknews.
I just got here, I don't want Shack to die. I also want Asif to stop Facetiming me with his snot bubbles.