Shack Chat: What game deserves a GoldenEye Slappers Only mode?

There’s no denying that GoldenEye on the N64 is one of the most iconic FPS titles of its era. For many console players it was an introduction to the world of split-screen first-person PvP. And there were so many options for making your matches even more amusing. However, nothing seemed to bring more joy and amusement to players than opting to just slap each other silly in Slappers Only mode. This mode removed all guns and items from the competition and forced players to backhand each other to death for supremacy. With the recent launch of GoldenEye on the Nintendo Switch and Xbox family of consoles we thought we’d ponder what other games could use a Slappers Only mode.

Question: What game deserves a GoldenEye Slappers Only mode?

GTA Online - Ozzie Mejia, Who's ready for story time with Senior Editor Ozzie, BAYBAY?

I'm doing my best Willem Dafoe impression right now when I say, "I'm something of a QA tester myself." My very first project goes back to 2006 on the original Saints Row. This was back when Volition didn't have much of a grasp on what they wanted the series to be, only thinking that they should build on the Grand Theft Auto formula. Most people, in fact, look at that first game and think of it as a total GTA knockoff. I'm not here to dispute that, but there were a few cool, original ideas in place.

One of those ideas was to include competitive multiplayer with a variety of different weapons. One of those weapons was the comically oversized Pimp Slap. The Pimp Slap was a one hit melee kill, but the comedy was that anyone that got struck with it would be sent flying into space, like they got punched by Popeye. To this day, it's still one of the funniest melee weapons I've ever seen in a game. The best days on the job were the ones where we had to wait on the developers to bring down a new build, so there was nothing for the QA team to do other than test out the multiplayer modes. Sure enough, we'd find new and creative ways to pimp slap one another and send each other skyward with full ragdoll physics on display.

Saints Row has since gone on to ditch competitive multiplayer in favor of focusing on the sandbox. I don't think anyone can argue that the series was probably better off for it. Having said that, I wish someone would pick up the baton of the comical pimp slap. By default, I look to Grand Theft Auto Online. Yes, I'd love to step into a closed-off section of the city with a handful of friends and just focus on melee hits that ragdoll the crap out of anything that moves. Gaming is poorer without the Pimp Slap weapon. It needs to come back.

UFC Undisputed - TJ Denzer, Senior News Slappist

I remember the UFC games being pretty good. They were very realistic and had a lot of interesting mechanics to try to properly convey the grappling and striking of fights in the Octagon. That said, THQ hasn’t made sports games in a while, and EA is not nearly as good at sports games as they used to be. I don’t know what UFC games are looking like nowadays, but if Madden and FIFA are any indication, I know I probably wouldn’t enjoy them.

Unless they had silly modes, of course. I miss the days of Big Head, Ball on Fire, weird special guests, and strange modes. If there was a mode in the UFC games where stars like Conor McGregor and Khabib Nurmagomedov were reduced to slappies, I think I’d have a hoot playing that with friends. One can dream, anyways.

Halo - Morgan Shaver, Custom Game Menace

Say what you will about games like Halo Infinite, but it’d honestly be awesome if a Halo game (Infinite in particular) offered a real, dedicated “Slappers Only” mode. It’d add the sort of delicious chaos seen in randomized modes like Fiesta with the extra challenge of not having guns or grenades to fall back on. Not to mention, people already make proper use of melee in games like Infinite to finish off foes, myself included. I’ve seen people share some fantastic “melee only” runs in Infinite as well, and it’s always impressive to watch. Adding to this, with the Master Chief collection, I used to play a lot of custom Halo 3 games with friends and it was fun to create unique battles with slower movement speed and increased damage, or even “grenade launchers only” plus reduced gravity type situations. I don’t recall ever being able to set up a true melee-focused match, though. Which is a shame, because I imagine it would have been a lot of fun.

Mortal Kombat - Blake Morse, Total Babality

The MK series has been chock full of little humorous secrets and segments for a long time. Whether we’re talking about the classic Toasty man or its many goofy iterations of the Fatality like the Animality or Friendship. So why not throw in a hidden mode or just a new official mode where opponents just have to flail their arms and try to slap each other silly? Just imagine Scorpion and Sub-Zero flailing their arms around, occasionally making contact and taking just a minute sliver of health away each time. I think that the Mortal Kombat has the kind of humor and chutzpah to pull something like this off and I’d love to see it.

Animal Crossing - Sam Chandler, Slappy Slap

I want to slap the bells out of Tom Nook’s pockets. I want him to understand exactly what he’s done to all those people he’s exploited for profit. Luring us to an island, putting people in seemingly unending debt, all under the guise of freedom and love. Catch me outside Tom Nook, we’re playing Slappers Only. You wanna bring Isabelle with you? No worries. Me and Rory will work you both over. I’ve been stung by enough bees that your little mits won’t do nothin’ to my face! Come at me bro.

Destiny 2 - Bill Lavoy, Temporarily Retired Guardian

Depending on how you look at it, the Crucible in Destiny 2 is either fun and balanced, a total disaster, or just a whacky time not to be taken too seriously. I think it can be all those things depending on the season, but I’d like to see Bungie lean into the whacky a bit more with a Slappers Only mode for Crucible. You can roll it out on April 1st if you want, or just any day, but I don’t see any way this doesn’t pump the Crucible’s player count up higher than it’s ever been in its history.

Perfect Dark 64 - Dennis White Jr., Slap Happy Soulsborne Guy

My answer is pretty simple. I want that slappers only to go down in my favorite shooter from that era, Perfect Dark. I would love to be able to slap people in the crotch with Elvis the alien. Might as well keep the tradition going in a HD-boosted version of the game. I want to get in some drop-down moments with the little guy and deliver some truly epic backhands if possible.

Elden Ring - Donovan Erskine, 2000s kid

While there are certainly Elden Ring challenge runs in which the player only uses unarmed strikers, it would be great if the opponents had the same restraints as well. I want to square up with a dragon that can only hit me with its open claw. Slapping all of the game’s bosses would be a truly cathartic experience. I can already imagine myself entering Stormveil Castle and reenacting The Slap skit.

Turok/Mortal Kombat-Steve Tyminski- It was a simpler time!

What game deserves a GoldenEye Slappers Only mode, where you fight without a weapon or unarmed? I would have to go with two games as an answer. It would be fun to play Turok, fighting dinosaurs, with your bare hands. If you don’t die in two seconds attacking dinosaurs without a knife or gun, then you deserve to be the last person standing. I remember having a tough time playing Turok with weapons so I might play the game better without knives and guns. The other game I would go with is Mortal Kombat. Some might say Mortal Kombat is already hand-to-hand combat but I would take it one step further, where you wouldn’t be able to use special moves. Having to rely on punches and kicks instead of special moves would show who the ultimate Mortal Kombat fighter is.

Well, there you have it. Those are the games we think would be taken to the next level with a Slappers Only mode. What game would you like to see get the slappy treatment? Let us know in Chatty comments below

Shack Staff

Shack Staff stories are a collective effort with multiple staff members contributing. Many of our lists often involve entires from several editors, and our weekly Shack Chat is something we all contribute to as a group.