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This Seinfeld Game pitch is a Festivus for the rest of us

If there's any good left in the world, the gaming gods will grant us this humble wish: please let the Seinfeld game be made into a real title.

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What's the deal with adventure games these days? There's a startling lack of Seinfeld in them, that's what. That could all be changing soon, if Seinfeld Adventure happens to end up becoming a real, honest-to-goodness game. And it is my sincere hope, ladies and gentlemen, that it does.

Two veritable geniuses, Jacob Janerka and Ivan Dixon, have created a fantastic pitch for a '90s point-and-click adventure game based on the Seinfeld universe. That may not sound very appealing to you, but trust me when I say it looks like these lads would be doing it up right. Jacob is the solo developer of adventure game Paradigm, while Ivan Dixon is an animation writer and director with a long list of credits to his name, including Rick and Morty and the Childish Gambino video "Feels Like Summer."

The game would be released as a series of half-hour "episodes," like the show, with three separate acts with Jerry, George, or Elaine – because, as the trailer reminds us, you can't control Kramer. Instead, he'll be a narrative "wild card" you'll be dealing with here and there like on the show.

But what would it be about? Nothing, right? That's the point. But here's the pitch for the first episode, which is wild in how much it sounds like a legitimate episode from the series. Here it is in full:

"Jerry is dating a publicist who accidentally reveals his email address to Kenny Bania through a group email. Now Bania fills Jerry’s inbox with a flurry of spam emails asking for feedback on his new stand-up set. Jerry decides to break up with the publicist over this, but he doesn’t want to deal with the interaction face-to-face. Kramer suggests ending the relationship via email and avoiding it all together. Jerry does this before Elaine reminds him that the publicist was supposed to get them all tickets to the opening night of the new movie “Rochelle, Rochelle 2”. George devises a plan to corrupt Jerry’s girlfriend’s computer before she can read her emails so that they can still collect the tickets. Kramer says he knows who can help. Someone with a sworn vendetta against email. Someone who has devoted their whole life to analogue mail and sees email as a threat to his livelihood. Someone named Newman.:

If you believe in this game (and it is a game if you believe in it) spread the word so it can get made. We desperately need a Seinfeld game out there in the world. Please. For my sanity.

Senior Editor

Fueled by horror, rainbow-sugar-pixel-rushes, and video games, Brittany is a Senior Editor at Shacknews who thrives on surrealism and ultraviolence. Follow her on Twitter @MolotovCupcake and check out her portfolio for more. Like a fabulous shooter once said, get psyched!

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