Sunday School 6: Learn, Play, Win

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Welcome to Sunday School. My name is Dr. Breckon, and I'll be your administrator. Play nice, do your homework, and score high on your exams. That way we won't have to call your parents.

Quiz Results: Know Your Health Bars
Apparently health bars have been more ingrained in the memory of gamers than crates, concepts, or even sound effects.

Yes, the results of the health meter quiz were stellar, there's no getting around it. What a sorry state of affairs. As your teacher, I take the blame for failing to sufficiently challenge the class.

This week's scores have been posted here. You can also check out the answers to the health bar quiz.

The winner? Demius. Check your Shackmessages, you lucky dog.

Quiz of the Week: Know Your Adventure Game Music
So the past few weeks have turned out to be softballs. As such, we're going back to the challenging audio format this week, testing your knowledge of adventure gaming soundtracks. Winner gets a PlayStation 2 copy of MLB 08 The Show, or a PlayStation 3 copy of Unreal Tournament 3--his or her choice.

Ready to go? Get quizin'.

Quiz Methodology: So you think you know your gaming stuff, huh? Let's find out. Each week in Sunday School you'll be tasked with completing a quiz, the contents of which will vary in both form and topic. Your quiz score will be recorded and graded accordingly, and instead of a lame gold star or red check-mark, you'll have the chance to win awesome gaming paraphernalia.

Some of these quizzes will be difficult, and some will be a cinch. Anyone who participates will be eligible for the weekly prize drawing. However, those with the highest grades at the end of the semester will have more of a chance to win the secret grand prize. Keep your grades up, and you might win a fabulous reward.

Only registered Shacknews users will be able to participate, so go create an account if you haven't already done so. Due to the nature of the contest, we ask that you refrain from discussing answers in the comments.

Today's Mini-lesson: The Wrath of Yamauchi
"Hey, Steve Ballmer, why don't you suck my tiny yellow balls?"

Studious blog readers will surely remember the fake Wired interview with former Nintendo CEO Hiroshi Yamauchi from 2005, wherein the longtime Nintendo leader described a meeting in which he rebuffed a Microsoft buyout offer by responding to MS executive Steve Ballmer in a rather lewd fashion.

What some people may not know is that the prank was likely influenced by real-life events. By all accounts Yamauchi was a decent human being during his imperious rule over Nintendo from 1949 to 2002. However, he also had a reputation for being an enormously shrewd businessman when the situation required. This side of Yamauchi famously showed itself in 1983, just as Nintendo was making inroads into the video game industry with a game called "Donkey Kong."

At the time, Atari held the rights to publish Nintendo's hit arcade title Donkey Kong on home consoles. Following that successful agreement, the two companies began to form a deal that would have Atari bringing Nintendo's Famicon system to worldwide markets. Yamauchi and Nintendo executives Minoru Arakawa--Yamauchi's son-in-law--and Howard Lincoln flew to Chicago to attend the Consumer Electronics Show, where they would meet with Atari's people and finish the paperwork.

All was proceeding smoothly until, when walking the show floor at CES, the Nintendo entourage spotted Coleco's new console, Adam--playing an unlicensed copy of Donkey Kong. Coleco's stock shot up the day after. Atari threatened Nintendo with legal action, thinking they had been double-crossed.

What followed is one of my favorite stories from the gaming industry.

Turn the page to continue reading. _PAGE_BREAK_ If you've been to a Starbucks lately, you are probably familiar with the work of David Sheff. The memoir he authored about the tragedy of his son's meth addiction, "Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Meth Addiction," has been the featured alongside mochas and lattes for months.

Of course, gamers who read Sheff's earlier work also know his son as "that kid who David Sheff plays video games with." Sheff's previously best-known work, "Game Over Press Start To Continue", is a comprehensive history of Nintendo, a book that has been hailed as a sort of modern console gaming Bible.

In Game Over, Sheff lays out the story of Nintendo's meeting with Coleco in amusing detail.

Everyone sat around a table. Arakawa whispered to Lincoln, "Don't say anything. Mr. Yamauchi will do this."

Arnold Greenberg, a distinguished-looking man, gray at the temples, ready to celebrate because of the computer Adam's apparent success, asked where Yamauchi was. Yoko assured him that her father would be there in a moment.

Yamauchi entered the room abruptly and, without addressing anyone, stood at the end of the table. He became, as one of those present put it, "unglued."

He began with a breathy, high-pitched tirade in a Marlon Brando monotone and quickly became loud and abusive. With a piercing cry, he swung his arm in an arc in front of him, shooting his outstretched finger toward Greenburg.

Yamauchi's diatribe, all in Japanese, completely stunned everyone in the room, with the possible exception of the Arakawas. Howard Lincoln says, "It scared the hell out of me."

..The translator finally began to speak. "Mr. Yamauchi is very upset," the man said.

At first, Greenberg had no idea why Yamauchi was upset. When the situation slowly became clear, he tried to get around the Atari-Nintendo deal with some hastily concocted legalese, arguing that the Adam was a computer that contained a video game machine.

Yamauchi spoke again, never wavering. He made it clear that there was nothing else to be said. No excuses would be listened to. Coleco had to refrain from selling "Donkey Kong" on Adam and announce the mistake, or there would be a lawsuit that would leave nothing of the company. There was no doubt that he meant it.

Greenburg and his colleagues retreated from the suite, shaken. Afterward, at dinner in the hotel's Japanese restaurant, Yamauchi, his tie loosened, turned to Howard Lincoln, who was still in a state of shock, and said, "Sometimes this is the way you have to handle people, Mr. Lincoln. What did you think about that performance?"

I can't recommend Game Over enough. It's a must-read.

Class dismissed. Come back next week. Absence will not be tolerated. And you didn't forget to take today's quiz, did you? That would be bad.

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