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I had a m8 who i thought would be interested in my SC2 friend key, but he hasn't gotten back to me for ~48 hours now, so it's your turn.
Give me sob stories, and convince me to give you my key. The best story wins.
Thread Truncated. Click to see all 38 replies.
Every time they would release a game, I would use my dial-up modem to check www.blizzard.com (which I had set as my homepage) to see if the game had yet gone gold. I knew that my computer would chug for Starcraft, so for months, I had begged my parents to consider an upgrade...or maybe even a new computer.
My months of nagging and annoying my parents paid off. My parents had acquiesced to buying my sister and me a new computer, and this computer was going to kick Starcraft's ass. Now all that remained was for Blizzard to release Starcraft, and I would get to play it! I was so excited, I would talk to my friends about Starcraft on the phone for HOURS. We would discuss which units were the coolest and lament units that Blizzard had opted not to put in (remember that mech that would turn into a turret?).
We would also discuss which race was the best. I always thought that the Protoss were the coolest with their psychic abilities, their shields, and their advanced weaponry. I was sure that my hefty research into the Protoss storyline and what made the Protoss superior would ensure I would be indomitable on the battlefield.
Near the end of March, Blizzard announced that Starcraft had gone gold. I was ecstatic. I couldn't wait to play the game, and most of all...I couldn't wait to try out the multiplayer on battle.net.
The day I got the game, I dialed into the Internet, fired up battle.net, created a profile, and arranged a game with my friends.
I chose Protoss. They chose some wimpy race like Terran.
My base was a thing of beauty. I had arranged all my pylons in a nice pattern to give my buildings redundant power coverage. i had ensure that my base was symmetrical in every way, and I had also ensured that my base was surrounded in a ring of photon cannons.
I laughed at any foolhardy attempt to break down my photon cannon walls! My friends would dash their forces against the mighty Protoss! I didn't need units!
And then...then came the siege tanks. My base was shelled to smithereens in minutes.
Bah! A minor setback! My friend's strategy was only lucky. My base was still impenetrable. I must have left a hole somewhere.
My friends weren't the only ones who had bought Starcraft. My cousins had also bought it, and they wanted to play.
"Of course!" I thought. Another chump to test my mettle against. I will soundly crush them with my ingenious photon cannon strategy.
This time, my cousins chose Zerg.
"HAH! i thought. No siege tanks! Of course I'll be able to win..."
So, I built my impenetrable wall of photon cannons in a HUGE, wide ring around me.
I was invincible...unless he had guardians. That was the only way my cousin could beat me. With guardians...
I grew quite frightened.
But then...then came my cousin. Hordes of mutalisks. HORDES of...mutalisks?!? YES, I thought! I could win! I could fight off his horde of mutalisks with my dozens and dozens of photon cannons.
His huge army flew towards my wall, and I eagerly anticipated my victory, goading my cousin on the chat channel.
And his mutalisks flew, flew, flew...flew...OVER MY PHOTON CANNONS AND INTO THE MIDDLE OF MY BASE?
GOD DAMMIT.
That was when I realized that I was horrible at Starcraft.
From then on, every time I would play with my cousins, I would play in a role of the subjugated. They would arrive on my doorstep with a sizable force, and rather than kill me...they'd force me into slave labour.
"Build me a wall of pylons around my base."
"Yessir."
"Build observers to scout the map."
"Yessir."
Even when I rose up to attack my oppressors with probes, they would quickly bring down the mighty hammer upon my puny and weak forces.
To this day, I have never been able to beat them at strategy games. I fucking hate them, and if I get an SC2 beta key before them...I HAVE TIME...I HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY to BEAT THEM, FINALLY.
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