Morning Discussion

By Alice O'Connor, Sep 18, 2009 3:20am PDT The greatest mystery of human physiology is, without a doubt, that Friday feeling. Debate has raged throughout the medical establishment as to where exactly the sensation originates, and what it even is. The two current leading hypotheses are Dr. Ike's view that bran muffins forced down during the week as a concession to the societal pressure placed upon one's self-image as a manifestation of the collective unconsciousness purchased by fizzy drink giants and twisted into a talisman for the Illuminati, clearing nicely on Thursday night to leave adrenal glands gushing freely, while Dave Down the Pub posits "Ahhhhh come on, gis a kiss ya miserable git."

This Friday, Shacknews, be sure to scrutinise your feeling with laser precision. Your discovery could revolutionise medicine as we know it.

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