LATEST CHATTY HEADER
Subscribe to Shacknews Mercury starting at $1/month!
Chrome Shack Community Guidelines Chatty Search
Scroll down to join the conversation.
New to Shacknews? Signup for a Free Account
Already have an account? Login Now
Subscribe to Shacknews Mercury starting at $1/month!
Chrome Shack Community Guidelines Chatty Search
Scroll down to join the conversation.
This week there will only be one winner. The prize is a sweet Duke Nukem belt buckle. You can check it out here http://www.shackpics.com/files/phpEDcX0gAM_qy1gj0oboyihf815xnw1.jpg
All you have to do to win is post what you imagine Duke Nukem, the character, was doing for the 13 years since his last staring role in a game. For my money, I'd say he was drinking profusely and eventually became that sad guy at the bar who just sits in the corner and talks about his glory days. You know, the guy you try to ignore but every once in a while have to listen to because he could probably kick your ass. That guy.
We'll notify one randomly chosen winner on Monday via Shack Message.
Good luck!
-Sean with GameFly
Open to US residents only. Must be 18 years or older to enter.
Thread Truncated. Click to see all 219 replies.
"Wake up, Duke."
"Fuck you."
"We gotta go!"
"I ain't goin' anywhere. Quit your yelling."
"You need to get up now!!"
Before Duke could respond, the door to his apartment is kicked open. Standing in the doorway are two figures. Bleary-eyed, Duke can only see their silhouettes, or rather outlines, since Duke's too much of a man to use a sissy French word. The two burly shadows walk towards him. He noticed they wore long, white lab coats.
"You docs aren't taking me to a nut house. I'll send you there first!"
As they try to grab him, Duke smashes his foot into one of the figure's crotches. He hears a satisfying groan of pain. Before he can change targets though, the other figure raps him on the head and everything goes black.
-----------------------------------------------
Still somewhat bleary-eyed and now with a pounding headache, Duke wakes up strapped to an upright table, his forearms pointing toward a worn, wrecked wall on the far end of a long room.
One of the people in the room with him approaches him. Everyone's wearing a labcoat here.
"Hello, Mr. Nukem," the labcoat says. "I hope your head doesn't hurt too much. We have a lot of work to do."
Duke, naturally pissed off about being abducted, tries to struggle out of the harness.
"Don't waste your strength, Mr. Nukem. You'll need it for your recuperation."
"I don't need that, you pansy." Duke replies.
"You don't?" The labcoat turns to another person and nods. Duke hears a door behind him opening up and footsteps approaching the table. "If you don't need recuperation, then how come your wonderfully placed kick crushed only one of my associate's testicles?"
Duke turns his head to see one of the meatheads who grabbed him earlier wearing what appears to be a diaper made out of bandages. Laughing, he says, "Lemme guess, this'll be the third time you've shit your pants near me."
The meathead tries to make his way towards Duke, but is held back by three others. The head labcoat turns to him. "You are excused." The three restrainers take him out of the room and close the door behind them.
"What sort of stuff did you have planned for me?" Duke asks.
"You've changed your mind?"
"No. I should've broken his pelvis."
"Well, that's a start at least. Bring in the targets!" One of the other coats opens a door and escorts five chained pig-men to the wrecked wall. The labcoat then goes to the side of the table and pulls a lever, releasing the straps that held Duke down. Another person hands him a pistol. The gun feels familiar, but just a bit heavier than he remembered.
The doctor checks his wristwatch. "You have 10 seconds to mutilate the targets as much as possible. Go."
The post has been reported. Thank you!
You must be logged in to post.
You must be logged in to post.