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Ah, I don't have time to explain the changes -- 5-10 minute revision trying to keep the style -- I made but I hope they're self-explanatory. I don't dare assert it's flawless but I think it's a bit better--and, if anything, shows where I think his attempts to write in this style stumble a bit.
I started Dragon Age a couple weeks back and immediately got really into it (PC for those wondering, and I'm happy with my choice). But boy did they hit the nail on the head calling the Fade the Fade. My obsessive night-in and night-out role playing came to a halt and I actually went to bed at a decent hour. If I bother finishing this section it will be because I know the game can't become this uninteresting and stay this uninteresting.
The free time from Dragon Age I used to see The Men Who Stare at Goats. Now, the movie's worst problem is that the narrative wandered and the final cut of the film only made it more noticeable. But that made think about what the editors left on the cutting room floor and whether they could have cut the film better. You know, to somehow keep my interest from...fading.
Despite the increasing similiarities -- games becoming more cinematic, movies becoming more game-like with CG -- film is a still a very different medium.. It's one thing to film many angles and takes for just one scene, leaving some on the cutting room floor, but it's quite another thing to do that when developing a game. That doesn't mean the Fade doesn't work; it just needs to be adapted to how people create games. With Dragon Age, perhaps they forgot to storyboard The Fade or, even, to play it and didn't realize how disruptive it is to the flow of the game. They could have come back and figured out what parts of this cool mystical parallel-world element of the Fade to keep and what parts might be better left on the floor.
I hope I didn't make it more verbose :D That said, I love the game:movies parallel but I'm pretty sure games have storyboards and playtesters, so the comparison of editing doesn't work when you juts say ...someone needed to storyboard it.
Just trying to be constructive.
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