LATEST CHATTY HEADER
Subscribe to Shacknews Mercury starting at $1/month!
Chrome Shack Community Guidelines Chatty Search
Scroll down to join the conversation.
New to Shacknews? Signup for a Free Account
Already have an account? Login Now
Subscribe to Shacknews Mercury starting at $1/month!
Chrome Shack Community Guidelines Chatty Search
Scroll down to join the conversation.
Thread Truncated. Click to see all 154 replies.
a WHITE ELEPHANT 2009 play in 3 acts
DRAMATIS PERSONAE:
"Fishy" - some kind of fish thing [ http://bit.ly/WE2k9Fishy ]
"The Old Adheser" - an IGN.com sticker [ http://bit.ly/WE2k9Sticker ]
"Pop-Pop" - some kickass bubble-wrap [ http://bit.ly/WE2k9Bubble ]
"The Governor" - "Collateral Damage" [ http://bit.ly/WE2k9Arnie ]
"The Western" - "The Wild Bunch" [ http://bit.ly/WE2k9WildBunch ]
"Eagle Scout" - a compass [ http://bit.ly/WE2k9Compass ]
"Violet" - a Gameboy Color [ http://bit.ly/WE2k9Gameboy ]
"The Games Gang" - assorted old PC games
("Games Gang" member) "El Bitchmaker" - John Romero's Daikatana [ http://bit.ly/WE2k9Daikatana ]
("Games Gang" member) "The Bhaaler" - Baldur's Gate II (plus expansion) [ http://bit.ly/WE2k9Baldur ]
("Games Gang" member) "The Kid with the Goggles" - Psychonauts [ http://bit.ly/WE2k9Psycho ]
("Games Gang" member) "Sid Vicious" - Civilization III [ http://bit.ly/WE2k9Civ ]
("Games Gang" member) "Dragon" - Gothic II [ http://bit.ly/WE2k9Gothic ]
("Games Gang" member) "Joshua" - DEFCON [ http://bit.ly/WE2k9Defcon ]
"The Computer Closet Gang" - random shit from Thrallie200's computer closet
("Computer Closet Gang" member) "Encino Man" - a USB wireless adapter [ http://bit.ly/WE2k9Linksys ]
("Computer Closet Gang" member) "Lefty O'PCIWNIC" - a PCI Wireless NIC [ http://bit.ly/WE2k9Lefty ]
("Computer Closet Gang" member) "Sanchez O'PCIWNIC" - Lefty's twin brother [ http://bit.ly/WE2k9Sanchez ]
("Computer Closet Gang" member) "The Player" - some kind of mp3 player [ http://bit.ly/WE2k9Player ]
("Computer Closet Gang" member) "The Blowhard" - a case fan [ http://bit.ly/WE2k9Fan ]
("Computer Closet Gang" member) "A Man with No Name" - a fistfull of cables/wires [ http://bit.ly/WE2k9Cables ]
("Computer Closet Gang" member) "Ol' One-Nut" - a trackball mouse [ http://bit.ly/WE2k9Trackball ]
SETTING:
A nameless place, where tragedy confronts eternity.
TIME:
Present day, nearly Christmas.
SYNOPSIS OF SCENES:
ACT I
SCENE I - A mysterious box - Morning
SCENE II - A desk in an office - Afternoon/evening
ACT II
SCENE I - A camera - Evening
SCENE II - A computer - Evening
ACT III
SCENE I - A website - Night time
...MULTIPLE PAGES MISSING...
FISHY
(wistfully)
Remember that time Thrallie200 put all that cool stuff in a box and mailed it to rgoer? I sure do miss being in that box; back then I felt so safe and secure.
DRAGON
Yeah, that box was definitely pretty cool, but why did rgoer wait a couple of days befor--
LEFTY
(interrupting)
Both of you shut your fucking mouths, or you'll end up like your buddy THE OLD ADHESER did: stuffed in a drawer to be forgotten about!
(FISHY and DRAGON immediately look discouraged)
VIOLET
(quietly, to FISHY)
Don't worry, he's all talk--he's just upset that he and his brother are probably going to end up right back in the closet again--did you know they just got out a week ago or so?
EAGLE SCOUT
Hearing that doesn't surprise me one bit.
POP-POP
(as if he were mentally retarded)
POP-POP go "pop, pop"!
THE WESTERN
(muttering)
Strange child...
THE GOVERNOR
This is quite surprising, a Schwarzenegger movie that rgoer has never seen. Sounds like something to do tonight!
THE KID WITH THE GOGGLES
(standing up, as if to make an announcement)
That's wonderful, GOVERNOR, but I just heard rgoer always wanted to play Psychonauts again but could not find his copy!
EL BITCHMAKER
(crestfallen)
It must be nice to feel wanted on the basis of merit, and not just as a joke or a novelty...
THE BHAALER
Must you make everything about yourself? I'm almost certain rgoer will at least consider installing Daikatana. But, more importantly, I recently heard news similar to that which THE KID just shared! It seems that playing Dragon Age has caused an upswell of Baldur's Gate nostalgia and I'm almost assured of some playtime rather soon!
DRAGON
I don't think he even knows who I am.
SANCHEZ
All this crying and self-pity... you delicate flowers would never make it on the inside, in the closet.
SID VICIOUS
(snickering)
Oh that's just great. You think you've got us all figured out? Well, bravo! Guess what, hot shot: where do you think I've been for the last three years? In that very same closet. You're nothing special. A lot of us have done our time in the closet--but not many of us ignorantly tout it as some savage badge of honor. You disgust me.
(THE GAMES GANG, FISHY, VIOLET cheer)
BLOWHARD
You know boss, I think he might be right. I mean, when I think about it, we're all kind of the same, right? We were all together in that box, and now we're all going to face rgoer together and he'll pass judgement on each one of us.
OL' ONE-NUT
(laughing)
Guffaw, BLOWHARD you worried you'll end up back in the closet too? Pish-posh! Closet's too good for the likes of you--if anything, you'll end up dead, or worse!
MAN WITH NO NAME
(quietly, to no one in particular)
Or, if you're like me, you pray for the closet--somewhere you can just slide under some box or another and hopefully be forgotten about until that one time when rgoer really, truly needs a dual-mono-to-single-stereo 1/8" TRS jack, or that day when he needs just one more SATA cable...
(lights fade)
VIOLET
(as the stage goes dark)
Now, to find out if rgoer's wife still has any original Gameboy games...
END
THE PLAYERS: [ http://bit.ly/WE2k9Group ]
PHOTOSTREAM: [ http://bit.ly/WE2k9rgoer ]
The post has been reported. Thank you!
You must be logged in to post.
You must be logged in to post.