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Following this: http://www.shacknews.com/laryn.x?id=21484366#itemanchor_21484366
Best of luck Phil, but you wouldn't let us miss an opportunity to make some jokes, in this thread we post stories of what happens to phil after his big accident. (also give him something to read while he's in a waiting room or something)
I've got a few in reply.
Thread Truncated. Click to see all 84 replies.
a) Found Jesus and volunteered at church every opportunity he got. He gave his all to his parish, neighbours appreciated his selflessness while resenting that his generosity dwarfed their own. His children slowly distanced themselves from Phil's new "too straight for a teen" self, and his wife left him after a fight about bible study being a fucking waste of time. He went on to be that creepy old church guy that volunteered for everything and you could tell he'd been living alone for a while. Even the Priest ended up finding him a bit too reclused and finally confronts phil about it, leading to a conflict where he tries to get the other volunteers to side with him vs. the Priest, but noone does, leading eventually leaves the church angrily. He ends up spending a lot of time in a rocking chair on his balcony and watching game shows, he continues volunteering in non-church activities near the church so that the church volunteers see what they're missing. The church-goers pray for Phil and when his mobility goes church volunteers come to help him out around the house. He pretends he secretly spites them for it, but really he is glad for the company."
b) Realized he only has one life to live and doesn't have time to twitter-stalk celebrities and rage about his wife, job, coworkers, kanye west and how come there's nothing new and interesting on the internet since 8am this morning. He decides to leave his wife, and heads off to southeast asia, visiting various islands before finally establishing himself on an resort-servicing island village off the coast of thailand. Noone hears from him for years, but when his youngest son finds him after spending over a year searching for his long lost father, he finds him toothless and flatulent, with several young ladies doing his housework and attending his every need. Phil tells his son that he made enough money as a sexual tour guide for the tourists at the all-included resorts next to the village to spend the rest of his life in this island paradise. Phil's son enjoys some of Phil's knowledge about the thai sex trade, but then becomes depressed and frustrated as the realization that his spiritual journey to find his father is not spiritual at all. He goes to tell Phil that he is leaving, but when he arrives he finds Phil getting butt-fucked by a transexual (Phil has stopped having erections for years at this point, and has developped a resistance to viagra due to over-use of poorly dosed counterfeit pills. Phil's son picks up his stuff and leaves. He tells people back home that his father was dead eaten by a shark while scuba diving. Later in life, unhappy in his marriage and job, when he receives a notarized letter saying that he inherits a small fortune from his deceased father, he suddenly starts crying."
c) Continues to post hilarious comments to the shack, LoL-tags up a storm and trudges through daily life for his family. His children appreciate him, but family life does not improve. When the kids move out, phil and his wife get a divorce. Phil devotes his free time to shacking, video games and starting a celeb stalking/shock photo website ring. Shacknews members appreciate having him as a member of their community and his children visit regularly to play some co-op XBOX 360 and make lewd conversations about women. Eventually he becomes a great grandfather, but his granddaughters don't trust him because grandma said he was a "perv"."
d) Fuck you A Zen Master.
e) Zing! (old joke for phil)
f) create your own story shack!
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