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A long, long time ago
I can still remember how those bastards
They shot up my ride
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those pig-cops dance
And maybe I'd be happy for a while
But news in May, it made me shiver
3D Realms they'd never deliver
Duke right to my doorstep,
Couldn't mighty foot one more step
I can't remember if I cried when I
Saw that Twitter post online
But something touched me deep inside
The day the studio died
So bye, bye Mr. Duke Nukem guy
Maybe later we'll see strippers,
But now I can just sigh
They left the code and kissed 3D Realms goodbye
Sayin' nothing but "Eat shit and die"
Nothing but "Eat shit and die"
Did you use the RPGs
Or were you a fan of rays of freeze
Did the Dukester tell you so
Oh, did you believe in D-Wango
Could tripmines save your mortal soul
Or was it that girl dancin' at the pooooole
Well I know that you'd tear off my head
Shit down my neck and I'd be dead
You'd get some on your shoes
But you've got the HoloDuke, whoaaahh
I was a lonely teenage broncin' buck
With an acne problem and an urge to fuck
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the studio died
I was singin' bye, bye Mr. Duke Nukem guy
Maybe later we'll see strippers,
But now I can just sigh
They left the code and kissed 3D Realms goodbye
Sayin' nothing but "Eat shit and die"
Nothing but "Eat shit and die"
For thirteen years, they'd been on their own
And the game became a universal joke
But that's not how it used to be
When the booth babes hailed to the king, baby
And we saw that footage at E3
And the screenshots that came from Georgie Beeeee
Oh but, while the babes were looking down
3D Realms, they had to shut down
The project was adjourned
No gone-gold was returned
And while Prey came out, it got good marks
The hardcore fans waited with their hearts
And they sang dirges in the dark
The day the studio died
They were singin' bye, bye Mr. Duke Nukem guy
Maybe later we'll see strippers,
But now we can just sigh
They left the code and kissed 3D Realms goodbye
Sayin' nothing but "Eat shit and die"
Nothing but "Eat shit and die"
Helter skelter, in a strip-bar swelter
The blue key's down in the fallout shelter
Hit that switch, then get the jetpack
Then go and kick through a wall of glass
Be sure to tell your friends in class
How you were playing and he said "Your face, your ass"
Well, I'm here to kick ass and chew gum
While the MIDI music starts to hum
We would've started to dance
But we never got the chance
When the gamers tried to call it fake
3D Realms refused to break
Do you recall, for Nukem's sake
The day, the studio died
They were singin' bye, bye Mr. Duke Nukem guy
Maybe later we'll see strippers,
But now we can just sigh
They left the code and kissed 3D Realms goodbye
Sayin' nothing but "Eat shit and die"
Nothing but "Eat shit and die"
Oh but while we're all here in one place
Remember those levels set in space?
Those ruled, but never again
Oh Duke be nimble, Duke be quick
Use those steroids, they'll do the trick
But watch out for the pipebombs in the end
Oh and while the strippers were on the stage
Some moms were having fits of rage
No cheat code born in hell
Could break that matron's spell
Oh but when the sun went down and it became night
You'd creep downstairs, stay out of sight
And play Duke 3D, but what a fright
The day the studio died
Now just start singin' bye, bye Mr. Duke Nukem guy
Maybe later we'll see strippers,
But now we can just sigh
They left the code and kissed 3D Realms goodbye
Sayin' nothing but "Eat shit and die"
Nothing but "Eat shit and die"
I met a girl who sang the blues
Gave her some cash, she showed me her boobs
"Shake it, baby," that's what I'd say
I went down to the Shugashack
When I saw the article, I cracked
Thinking about the game I wouldn't play
And in the streets, the gamers screamed
The trolls all trolled, and the haters beamed
But not a word was spoken
My ripper gun was broken
And the one man I admired most
Just went "sniff j00" and made a sad post
So I caught the last train for the coast
The day the studio died
So bye, bye Mr. Duke Nukem guy
Maybe later we'll see strippers,
But now we can just sigh
They left the code and kissed 3D Realms goodbye
Sayin' nothing but "Eat shit and die"
Nothing but "Eat shit and die"
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