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I could leave him, too. I can fill a rucksack and just walk out. But I need him. Damn it. When he’s not crying, or whining about ‘before’, Henry’s the smart one. When I met him on day 5 he told me the enemy was called the Strogg. When the ‘army’ rolled into town on day 153, he’s the one who found the hiding place, our new home. On day 203, when we met Laura, he knew which meds she needed and how to deliver her child. But on day 205, I’m the one who had to bury the new mother and daughter. For that he needed me.
Henry can come. I tell him that I’m leaving and he asks, “Where?†He always asks questions. I hate that about him. Honestly, I don’t know where I’m going. It doesn’t really matter. But I can’t tell him that. “I heard on the radio, there’s a place about 500 miles due south where the Strogg haven’t reached. I’m gonna go there. And I’m gonna call it VacationLandâ€Â. I lie to Henry. But it’s a good lie. And I decide to believe it. VacationLand sounds nice. If it existed, it’d be pretty. That’s where I’m going. But Henry always asks questions. ‘500 miles? You mean Texas? Why wouldn’t they…’. I punch him. Sometimes I wish he would just shut the hell up. I can see the tears well up in his eyes.
We leave that night. It’s going to be a long walk about taking a vehicle in the city would be suicide. Henry insists we take the radio. I hate the thing. The same noises come from it every day. A call for troops to attack some Strogg infested town, followed by the sounds of men dying. But its not really men dying is it? They don’t kill us anymore. They turn us into them. You end up shooting patchwork soldiers made from the pieces of men that were fighting beside you the day before. And the same ones come back. Again and again. I killed my brother three times.
Henry’s crying again.
I feel it in my chest before I hear it. The tightening around the heart that tells me death is on its way. Then the shrieks of the Strogg raiders fill the sky. I drop to the ground. That’s the only way to survive it. Don’t stand up. Lay down until the sound fades. Face down, so they can’t see your eyes. I can’t see Henry, but I can hear him beside me. Sobbing. Lay down and live. Just don’t stand up.
The next few days I’m almost happy. We find a broken down truck at the top of a hill. I pop the hood, and pretend I know what I’m doing. For a few minutes, we’re just a couple of guys trying to fix a car. No Strogg, no GDF, no memories. God damn it feels good.
We spend the next two days with our faces in the dirt.. The raiders overhead are so thick its hard to tell if its day or night. When we move we catch glimpse of other travelers. Refugees. Some we avoid. Some avoid us. It’s better that way.
Henry sees the woman first. ‘She’s been following us for almost a day’, he tells me. I curse myself for being so slack. I should’ve noticed her sooner. But now that I’m alert, I see what Henry doesn’t. She’s not alone. There’s a kid behind her. A boy. A son. I know this is going to end badly.
She’s getting closer, feeling us out. It takes another full day before she builds up the nerve to approach us. “I’m Sarah and this is Jasonâ€Â. I want to tell her to get the hell away, but Henry talks first. ‘We’re on our way to Texas’. I remind him that it’s called ‘Vacationland’ now. I can tell from Sarah’s eyes that she doesn’t care about the destination. So now we’re four.
The only thing I know for a fact about women is that they love their children. She feeds him before she takes a bite of food for herself. When the raiders fly, she holds him down and covers his ears. And at night, she sings him to sleep. It’s the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard. It reminds me of the lullaby my wife sang to our son. God, I miss them.
The boy, Jason, won’t talk to me or Henry. His mother is his entire world and I can’t blame him. I hear him ask her ‘Who’s Henry?’ before she shushes him. I tell Henry’s story for him because odds are he’ll starting bawling before he could get through it. I tell Jason how Henry was an engineer in the GDF and how he fought the first wave of invaders. I tell him how Henry went back to find his family after Denver fell. I don’t tell him any more. It’s better that he sleeps with his mothers song in his ears and not my stories.
Hills are bad. I once saw an entire squad of GDF grunts torn to shreds lying on a hill just a few feet higher than me. When you’re on top of that mound, the Strogg raiders don’t care if you’re lying down. I remember hearing their screams while my sergeants voice in my head kept reminding me of my training. Don’t stand up.
Sarah like hills. She says it’s something about seeing what’s on the other side. Maybe that’s way she lagged behind when we hit the crest.
My chest tightens and I know death is coming. I run down the hill and lay down. I can hear the shrieking of the raiders getting closer. Henry is beside me. Sarah and Jason aren’t. Where are they? I look up and see them running down the hill. The Strogg are close. Closer. She’s dragging the kid behind her. Women love their children. She won’t make it, she can’t move fast enough with him. But I can. I can run to them. I can carry Jason. Henry’s gone. I can save them. The shrieking is deafening. I can save my family. There’s still time.
I stand up
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