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What do you want for Christmas, Alice?

by Alice O'Connor, Nov 25, 2011 12:00pm PST
Related Topics – Holiday Guide 2011

It's the question that can slam the brakes on the holiday spirit; it stopped poor Ralphie dead in his tracks in that fateful moment when he finally got to Santa. "What do you want for Christmas?" So, to help make this the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap danced with Danny Kaye, the Shacknews editors present some of our answers for this holiday season to help you be ready for when you get put on the spot during the 2011 Holiday Season.

If my friend asks, I'd say...

Please don't, honestly. No presents. You know how I feel about this. Oh! And that's exactly why you're doing it, isn't it? You're a monster. And you won't drop this, will you? All right, good, okay, fine, wonderful, lovely, please may I have a Trine 2 pre-order on Steam? It comes with instant beta access so we can play co-op together, and I will ensure that you never stop falling into spikes.

The book 'Replay: The History of Video Games'

If my family asks, I'd say...

Hello! It has been a while, hasn't it? No, I'm sorry, it's... you know how I am. You know I don't mean anything by it, I honestly haven't had anything new to say, you know? And you know I'm well. And you know I care, and I know you care. I'm sorry. Yes, I'm still doing video games words. Christmas? A video games thing? Oh! That's very kind. Well, how about Tristan Donovan's book Replay: The History of Video Games. I've heard it's a cracking look at how creativity begot business. I know. Yes. No, I'll come see you. Okay. I love you. Bye.

If I'm writing my letter to Santa, I'd put...

I've seen the documentary about how you're really one of the many schoolchildren in the town of North Pole, Alaska required to answer these letters at school. It's surreal to me, but I hope you enjoy it. When you're older, you'll be able to escape North Pole, or Alaska entirely if you'd like. Or you can stay. I'm not saying you'd be wrong to stay. But when I think about you, small child, up there, I feel slightly sad.

I don't know. Christmas is strange for me. I really enjoy the music and the lights and the food but inevitably feel deeply melancholy on the day. So how can you find any joy in it when every day is Christmas in North Pole? Every. Single. Day. Look. This has gone wrong. I'm not sure what I was trying to do here, but now I'm wasting your time and upsetting you.

Okay, I'm including a copy of Just Cause 2 with this letter to make amends. You should play it. It's good. And cheap, so it'd be a good stocking filler. Not that I think you're Santa, of course. Oh god, I don't even know what I'm doing. I'll stop. Yet still send this. At this point, I may as well.

If I hadn't already broken down and gotten it, I'd have to say...

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, because when everything goes wrong and you just don't know what you're doing anymore, you can always retreat into video games and hide until you feel up to pretending everything is all right. It's good, too, but more importantly it's long and there's so much to do and none of it is here. You won't forget, but you'll swallow it down and be able to get back on with things for a while.




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