It's simply, really. Listen to Soma FM's Xmas in Frisko stream at all times of the day and night, or Christmas Lounge if children are present. Watch as many Christmas films on television as possible, but ideally you should be going to the cinema to see them. Most of all, be grateful for everything you have--especially the freedom to be a miserable old crone who spits venom at anyone who dares to do anything other than take long naps and spit venom.

"Thanks Alice!" they always say, falling at my feet. "You're so kind! Thank you! I'm ever so grateful. Truly, you have saved Christmas! Also, when you transcribe this conversation, be sure to use many exclamation marks to express my glee at seeing you!"