Time Gentlemen, Please! Dev Reveals Its 'Privates'

Indie developer Zombie Cow Studios--creator of adventure games Ben There, Dan That! and Time Gentlemen, Please!--has opened its grubby trenchcoat to reveal Privates, a PC and Xbox 360 platforming shooter with an unpleasant educational twist.

Zombie Cow explains that "Privates is a platform twin-stick shooter in which you lead a teeny-tiny gang of condom-hatted marines as they delve into people's vaginas and bottoms and blast away at all manner of oozy, shouty monsters." Positively charming.


The game has the financial backing of British broadcaster Channel 4, presumably to help educate the nation's "pregnant, waddling teenagers [who] take up the full width of the pavement with their oversized triplet pushchairs, unaware that their rampant, perpetual humping has filled them to the brim with all manner of grotty infections."

"Channel 4 have been awesome in giving us a load of money and then keeping pretty quiet no matter how filthy and objectionable the content became," explains Zombie Cow founder Dan Marshall. "It's gone really well."

Privates is due to be released for free on PC this summer for download via the websites of Channel 4 and its hip, groovy, youth-oriented offspring E4. Zombie Cow says "The Xbox one will probably cost a little bit of money, we'll see."