As such, the celebration must surely involve flying around on rocketbooted giraffes, watching Laurel & Hardy on an HDTV screen embedded in its neck, receiving telephone calls of praise from every boss you have ever had, eating barbecue until a cascade of sauce flows down your chin, over your chest and trickling through your toes onto its patchwork fur, then returning to a ticker-tape parade hosted by Dick Clark. I can't wait!