Sweepstakes: Your Favorite Civilization

Civilization: 12 Colonies of Kobol
The 12 Colonies of Kobol was founded by settlers from the 12 tribes of Kobol around 2000 years ago. The government was established under the Articles of Colonization appointing a Presidential position as well as a cabinet. It also established the Quorum of 12 which represent the interests of each individual colony. The creation of the Cylons as a means of labor led to a revolution of growth. When the Cylons became self-aware it resulted in the First Cylon War which ended in an Armistice. It has been 40 years since the war and the Colonies have progressed much since then and the Colonial Military has since then grown and over 200 Battlestars serve in the Colonial Fleet.

Starting techs: CNP (Command Navigation Program)
The latest in military computer operating system, it was developed by the brilliant Dr. Gaius Baltar who is an expert in computer technology. This program allows ships in the Colonial military to be interconnected on the same information network to share intelligence, sensor data, and battle operating systems.

Leader: Commander William Adama (Creative, Initiative)
Veteran of the First Cylon War, he served as a Viper Pilot participating in numerous engagements with the Cylons. He excelled in his combat skills becoming a crack pilot. He took a brief break in service when he was discharged following the end of the war and served briefly as a freighter crewmember. Adama later returned to the Colonial Fleet using political connections of his wife Carolanne. He rose through the ranks attaining the rank of Commander and was a staff officer on many Battlestars. His previous assignment was CO on the Battlestar Valkyrie and is now currently serving as CO on the Galactica, one of the oldest Battlestars in the fleet. His mistrust of technology has led him to minimize the use of technology as they have been weak points to Cylon cyber infiltration, in particular networked systems.

Trait 1: Technophobic (+2 Network security, -1 efficiency)
Trait 2: Crack Pilots (+1 Dogfighting, +1 Emo)

Unique unit 1: Battlestar Galactica
An aging warship, this Battlestar has been refitted many times since the first Cylon War and is outclassed by much of the newer ships in the colonial fleet. Considered inefficient due to its size and crew requirements, the ship has been slated to be retired and be modified to become a museum honoring the history of the First Cylon War.

Unique unit 2: Viper Mk VII
The latest frontline fighter of the Colonial Fleet, it has advanced avionics and is faster and more maneuverable than its previous iterations. It is equipped with the latest version of the CNP software giving it improved battlespace awareness and communication with the Colonial Fleet.

Vantage is gonna waltz in here and kick all your butts with a four post write-up on the Byzantine Empire.

Guess I'll go the nonfiction route.

Civilization: The Mamluks
The Mamluks were military slaves who, in 1250 AD, managed to seize power from the Ayyubian rulers of Egypt. The world in which the Mamluks arose was a dangerous one though and the Crusaders and the approaching Mongol army represented serious dangers to their burgeoning state. The Mamluks managed to overcome both these threats, with the ejection of the Crusaders from Palestine in 1293 AD and the halting of the “invincible” Mongol advance by the early 14th century. With their externals enemies defanged, the Mamluks were able to bring great wealth and power to Egypt through the incorporation of Syria and the holy cities of Mecca and Medina into their realm as well as control of important trade routes between the Mediterranean and Asia.

The success of the Mamluk Sultanate could be in part attributed to their unique succession system which allowed for the Sultan’s most powerful Mamluk soldier to take control of the Sultanate. This system allowed for a continual line of strong, capable rulers for centuries, but eventually this gave way to the forces of nepotism and greed. The Mamluk Sultanate finally ended in 1517 AD when the Ottoman Empire succeeded in capturing Cairo and executing the last Sultan.

Leader: Baybars I (Organized, Protective)
Baybars I, perhaps the most famous Mamluk Sultan, was a cunning general and intelligent ruler who lead Egypt from 1260-1277 AD. Baybars saw numerous military victories, including the defeat and capture of Louis IX during the seventh crusade, the first real defeat of the Mongolian army at Ayn Jalut, and the seizure of Antioch, the symbol of continued Crusader existence within the Holy Land. Alongside his military victories, Baybars I can be credited with the organization of the Sultanate into a persistent and stable state as well as the improvement of its safety through rebuilding of strongholds, the army and the navy.

Starting Techs: Mining, Agriculture

Unique Unit: Kipchak Horseman (Replaces Knight – Free March Promotion)
During the early Mamluk Sultanate, many the military slaves came from the tribes of the Kipchak Turks who were experiencing great hardships following the the Mongol invasion. These Kipchak Turks made up the prominent regiment within the Mamluk army and were trained in cavalry combat with spears as well as bows and arrows. During the campaigns of Baybars I, these soldiers were well known for their stamina, regularly performing forced marches in order to deal with the many threats to the Sultanate.

Unique Building: Tabaka (Replaces Barracks - +1 Happiness)
A new slave boy, upon purchase, was assigned to a tabaka with other boys his own age. This building served as his quarters, Islamic school and military academy for ten years until he was freed. Through the tabaka the new soldier was instilled with a sense of loyalty to his master and his companions and upon receiving his freedom formed a unit alongside these companions within the Mamluk army.

Civilization: Imperial (Cyrodiil)
Unique Unit: The Hero of Kvatch
Starting Techs: Fast Travel, Psychic Guards
Unique Building: Fighters Guild (+1 to combat against rats)
Leader: Uriel Septim Martin Septim (Instant News Travel, Amulet of Kings)

Lebowski Urban Achievers
Leader: Jeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski
Unique Unit: Walter Sobchak
Trait 1: Bowling
Trait 2: Bowling
Trait 3: Bowling
Starting Tech: None
Favorite Civic: Fuck it, Dude. Let's go bowling.

The Dude holds a special item, The Rug. If the Rug is ever stolen by an enemy faction, all units automatically engage in recovery of the Rug.

Whenever Walter engages another unit, hostile or otherwise, he automatically attacks and receives a +2 to Combat. However, the unit must rest every Saturday (Shabbos).

Civilization: Terrorists
Starting techs: Fundamentalism, Religious brainwashing
Leader: Allah
Trait 1: Fanatical (+1 religion, -1 diplomacy)
Trait 2: Aggressive (+1 initiative on attacks, -2 diplomacy)
Unique unit: Suicide bomber
Unique building: Mosque
Limitations: Unique unit is unable to obtain veteran status. Civilization cannot progress past bronze age.

Civilization: Delta House Fraternity
Starting Techs: Light Beer, Double Secret Probation
Unique Unit: Dean Vernon Wormer
Leader: John Belushi (Bluto)
Trait 1: Keg party
Trait 2: Toga party!
Unique Building: The 'Animal House'

Civilization: Crab People

Leaders: The hosts of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

Trait: Metrosexuality (+1 to looks)

Starting Tech: Sensational Hair

Unique Building: Subterranean Fortress

Battle Cry: "Cra-a-ab people, cra-a-ab people, taste like crab, talk like people."

Civilization: The Galactic Confederacy
Unique Unit: DC-8 Space Planes equipped with hydrogen bombs
Starting Tech: Celebrity Counseling
Leader: Xenu
Trait 1: Fanatical
Trait 2: Wealthy
Favorite Civic: Mental Control
Favored Military Unit: Anti-Tom Cruise Kamikaze Thetan Squadrons (A.T.C.K.T.S.)
Building: Fort Harrison Hotel a.k.a. "Flag Land Base"

I would love a faceplate, or a shirt in men's L. Thanks fellas. If you don't see me post again, blame the . . .

Civilization: Wikipedia
Starting Techs: Systemic bias [citation needed], Inconsistency [citation needed]
Unique Unit: Trusted Editors [citation needed]
Trait 1: Main article: Traits of Wikipedia
Trait 2: Main article: Traits of Wikipedia
Leader: The Internets [citation needed]
Unique Building: (<- Replaced page with ''''HEATH IS ALIVE!!!!!!! HE IS DOWN WITH ELVIS YO!!!'''')

Civilization: Amberites
Leader: Corwin
Traits: Political (+1 to diplomacy), Trumps (+1 to trade)
Military Unit: Shadowwalker (Can teleport to any other shadowwalker)
Building: The Pattern

Civilization: The Brotherhood of Steel
Starting Techs: Powered Armor, Plasma Rifle
Unique Unit: Paladin
Trait 1: Pre-war Tech (Extra beginning technologies)
Trait 2: Isolationism (-2 to diplomacy)
Leader: Maxson
Unique Building: Lost Hills Bunker

CIvilization: LOLcats
Leader: Ceiling Cat
Unique unit: Invisible Bike Rider Cats
Trait 1: Cuteness
Trait 2: Fluffiness
Trait 3: Bad Grammar
Building: Seal Buckets

Civilization: Zombies

Starting Techs: Scent of Flesh, Hunger

Unique Units: Zombie replace warrior, 3hp and 50% chance to take no damage, takes 50% less time to build

Trait 1: 25% chance to convert enemies to Zombies after successful attack

Trait 2: All buildings take 100% more time to build

Leaders: Zombie Abraham Lincoln

Civilization Building: Graveyard (replaces Barracks)

Civilization: Zombie Survivors
A rag-tag, yet strongly knit group of rugged individuals forced to cling together through a global plague of biblical proportions. The conflict has made them all well-poised to take over the world, although they cannot keep up with late-game high technology shenanigans.

Leadership: Democracy / Dictatorship. If Zombie Survivors are guided by dictatorship, automatic Unrest kicks in every 2 in-game months and lasts a week, during which only military projects continue; you are unable to change projects at this time. At the end of Unrest, a new leader is elected and Research progress is reset.

Trait: Random attrition / Random resupply
Occasionally someone *will* get careless and become bitten / wander off too far in search of supplies. Your civilization will occasionally lose a unit. However, survivors always seem to wander into the compound to keep the population more or less steady. Your civilization will occasionally gain a unit.

Trait: Bonus to low level invention
Fusion, lasers and biodegradable fuels are pretty hard to come by in the post-zombie world. However, your civilization has a knack for putting together fairly simple items from seemingly insufficient raw materials. Cost of invention up to cars and single-fire weapons reduced by half; cost of production reduced by 25%. Cost of invention past the combustion engine tripled.

Trait: Low population growth
Pretty self-explanatory here. Penalty of 75% to population growth.

Civ building: The Compound
The Compound is a heavily fortified, 24-hr manned outpost containing everything needed for basic survival. Due to its defensible nature, the Compound can only expand to Medium size but will never suffer starvation as a result. It gains +250% to defense against all weapons up to Modern, and 100% defense bonus after that. Military production is increased by a factor of 50% up to Modern weapons.

Civ Unit: Junked out truck. Junked out truck is the cheapest unit to make, but (as all Zombie Survivor units) has a tripled supply cost since it runs on conventional gasoline which is in very short supply. Junked Out Truck can carry 1 Shotgun Redneck and 1 Assault Rifle Ex-Marine (or Ex-Cop) Psycho (or Paranoiac) (which have to be built separately), gaining offensive abilities of both.

Obviously, the strategy with Zombie Survivor nation is an early Junked Out Truck rush; except since there aren't that many people to go around, it has to be a careful rush. The race is between your measured Junked Out Truck expansion and other Civ's technologies - if anyone else gets to tanks, Zombie Survivors pretty much lose unless they manage to steal a couple and hold out long enough to conquer the other side.

Civilization: Canada - America's Hat
Leader: Tim Horton
Traits: Good beer (+1 to trade relations), Fucking cold (Enemies suffer attrition while in your borders), Eh? Aboot? (Foreign nations can't take you seriously, -1 to diplomatic talks)
Military Unit: The Mountie
Building: Tim Horton's

I've always preferred Alpha Centauri to the regular Civilization games, so I'm using a faction from there instead.

Faction: The University
Attributes: Scientific (+2 Tech), Academic (-2 Probe)
Building: Network Node (Increases research!)
Unit: Drop Clean Shard Squad. When these babies start dropping from orbit all around your bases, you know you're in trouble. Since they have Clean Reactors, the University never has to worry about social unrest!
Description: The University, lead by Provost Zhakarov, seeks better living through advanced technology. The pursuit of knowledge is placed before all else, including, at times, ethical codes. If left alone, they can quickly acquire an insane lead in research as they build their technological utopia. Unfortunately, their belief in the free flow of information and their academic origins reduces their internal security, making the University vulnerable to Probe Team attack. Until they build The Hunter-Seeker Algorithm, that is.

Civilization: The Hippies
Starting Techs: Weed, Swirling Colors
Unique Units: Stoner
Trait 1: Stink clouds (think upgraded abominations from WC3)
Trait 2: +5 doing nothing
Leaders: Everyone, No-one, a talking dog
Civ Building: Hydropontics farms -- farms that produce no food

Civilization: The White
Starting Techs: .45 revolvers with sandalwood grips
Unique Unit: The Gunslinger (think of the baddest samurai ever armed with guns instead of swords)
Unique Building: The City of Gilead - the last vestige of light and civility
Leader 1: Roland Deschain
Leader 2: Steven Deschain

Vs.

Civilization: The Forces of the Crimson King
Starting Tech: lasers
Unique Unit: Taheen (bird headed men with more strength and intelligence than humans)
Unique Building: North Central Positronics HQs (a sombra corporation)
Leader 1: The Crimson King
Leader 2: Randall Flagg

Civilization: Shacknews
Starting Techs: Porn, Firefox
Unique Unit: Lurker (replaces Spy) Can play on enemy TF2 servers
Unique Building: Shack (replaces Broadcast Tower) +1 happiness from porn
Leader 1: Steve Gibson (Financial, Slippery Hands)
Leader 2: Maarten Goldstein (Poptarts, Expansive)

Civilization: Gilligan's island
Unique Unit: Harlem Globe Trotters
Starting techs: Bamboo, Coconuts
Leader: The Skipper
Trait 1: Resourcefulness
Trait 2: Dumb Luck
Building: Huts

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, A tale of a fateful trip That started from this tropic port Aboard this tiny ship. The mate was a mighty sailing man, The skipper brave and sure. Five passengers set sail that day for a three hour tour, a three hour tour. The weather started getting rough, The tiny ship was tossed, If not for the courage of the fearless crew The Minnow would be lost, the Minnow would be lost. The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle With Gilligan, The Skipper too, The millionaire and his wife, The movie star The professor and Mary Ann, Here on Gilligan's Isle.

Civilization: Hobo Nation
Unique Unit: Cat lady
Starting techs: Duct Tape, Shopping Cart
Leader: Nick Nolte
Trait 1: Incoherent (+1 confusion in deals)
Trait 2: Scavenging (+1 resources per plot)
Building: Refrigerator box

MySpace - Unique Unit: The Emo, Leader: Tom
Trait 1: Cultural Borg, Trait 2: Spam
Starting Tech: The Internet, Drama
Favored Civic: Universal Suffrage

Tom speaks for himself. Being Tom, He Is Your Friend and starts in contact with every civ, but they can cut off contact with him immediately, as they often choose to. The Emo is their special unit, which is basically a much more effective missionary that converts 4x as quickly to Paganism. It just has a 5% chance of destroying itself every turn. Cultural Borg means they gain 1/5 of the culture of the enemies' nearby cities as their own, but a cultural victory for Myspace translates as a loss - similar to nuclear winter.

The starting techs, again, speak for themselves. MySpace simply could not function without either.

Scottland - Unique Unit: Soccer Hooligans, Leader: Groundskeeper Willy
Trait1: Drunk
Trait2: Rowdy
Trait3: Nothing faster than a greased Scotsman
Building: Pub

Endor's Moon: Endor
Unique Unit: Cute Fuzzy Ewoks
Starting Tech: Crude wooden battering rams, rock throwing
Leader: The Ewok that fits himself in the face with the rock in the sling
Trait 1: Furry Trait 2: Cute Trait 3: Partying hard after a victory against the empire.

Atlantis - Unique Unit: Atlantian Trader, Leader: King
Trait 1: Financial Trait 2: Creative Trait 3: Organized
Building: The Great Canal

Canada - Unique Unit: Beaver horde, Leader: Socialist communist hivemind.
Trait 1: Polite Trait 2: Non-warmongering Trait 3: Drunk
Building: Igloo.