If you live outside of the San Francisco Bay Area, there's a small chance you may have never heard of Kinder's. It's a local franchise that's both a butcher shop and a place to get delicious pre-cooked meats slathered in various branded BBQ sauces in both sandwich and non-sandwich form along with some very tasty sides. They're predominantly known for their Famous Ball-Tip sandwich, but the truly indoctrinated know there's much more waiting for them on the menu board.
Case in point, the Kinder's BBQ Sandwich is a gift from the deities themselves that is both glorious and satiating in its simplicity. First they hollow out the bread to make a hole for all the meat. I can only assume they do this using the wang of Zeus himself to make such a perfect portal for the actual meat treats. And damn if this isn't the most meat-filled sandwich you will ever lay your eyes upon. Forget Arby’s and all their claims of meat possession, Kinder’s really knows what the fuck is up.
Kinder’s basically fills up half a hollowed-out baguette with nothing but meat, cheese, and onions. What kind of meat? Well, they offer up a choice of BBQ beef, pulled pork, or pulled chicken. These things are about as big as my forearm and much better tasting than my forearm as well (I assume, please don’t eat my forearm to find out.)
I’m a simple man and I don’t need my sandos to be all fancy-pants-Park-Avenue to be truly delicious. Kinder’s combines quality meat with some of the best BBQ sauce I’ve ever had and then throws in some shredded cheese that I can only assume is on par with the rest of the ingredients to make an orgasmic meal experience. If you’re in The Bay and you have a Kinder’s nearby, I suggest you go to it as quickly as you can. And if you’re not in the Bay Area, you can still buy their supreme sauces online over at their website. Now, please enjoy this song about meat sandwiches by GWAR.
Go get you some Kinder’s!