How to cancel your Shacknews Mercury subscription

How to cancel your Shacknews Mercury subscription

Like a rising phoenix or a festering mold (definitely one of the two) we’re not going anywhere anytime soon, but that shouldn’t stop you from pursuing your own path.


What a weekend! Posts went up, supermassive Chatty threads occurred, and The Man With The Briefcase is no more. Heck, even a response about being a good sport was made (they didn’t have to do that, but they surely did anyways). And that brings us… right here. Rip off the band-aid, we say. Shantynews is still a thing because Shacknews is still a thing. The Shanty has new squatters (identity check: the Browns suck), but it’s still a burning hot mess of what should continue to be parodical news hot takes nonetheless.

We’re not going back, only forward. Chugalug. From here on out all Shantynews articles will be discussed among multiple members of staff before we put anything live. Nothing will be posted without peer oversight.

That said, we’re fully aware that many may not want to stay on the ride. We understand. Even so, “I’m canceling Mercury,” has been a trending phrase over the last few days. If you’ve already done so, that’s pretty much that. That said, if you don’t know how… Well, we’re a helpful bunch. Let us lend you a hand.

How to cancel your Shacknews Mercury Subscription

So here’s really the whole deal about scrapping your Mercury subscription in a few easy steps.

  • Log into your Shacknews account using the Log In / Register button at the top bar.
  • Click on the Account button at the top after you log in.
  • Navigate to the Mercury option of the account menu.
  • Click the big honkin’ Cancel Mercury button.
  • Go through the immediately following prompts to finalize cancellation.

And there you have it. You’re free! You’ve done it! And you can always go back if you decide to. Otherwise, no hard feelings. See you around, maybe.

To those who stay on board: Hey, thank you. It’s your money. Nobody is forcing you to keep putting it towards us, but if you do continue to support Shacknews Mercury, we appreciate it and will continue to strive to provide you with the absolute prime sh**posting that you, the Shacknews faithful, deserve. I mean...  you surely deserve something while our warehouse scabs figure out the equation of mailing clothing right? Shantynews can’t stop, won’t stop, might stop (but not anytime soon). Look forward to more irreverent takes on the usual content and news in the near future.

- Posted by the Hole in my Own Foot

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