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How to cancel your Shacknews Mercury subscription

How to cancel your Shacknews Mercury subscription

Like a rising phoenix or a festering mold (definitely one of the two) we’re not going anywhere anytime soon, but that shouldn’t stop you from pursuing your own path.

Shantynews

What a weekend! Posts went up, supermassive Chatty threads occurred, and The Man With The Briefcase is no more. Heck, even a response about being a good sport was made (they didn’t have to do that, but they surely did anyways). And that brings us… right here. Rip off the band-aid, we say. Shantynews is still a thing because Shacknews is still a thing. The Shanty has new squatters (identity check: the Browns suck), but it’s still a burning hot mess of what should continue to be parodical news hot takes nonetheless.

We’re not going back, only forward. Chugalug. From here on out all Shantynews articles will be discussed among multiple members of staff before we put anything live. Nothing will be posted without peer oversight.

That said, we’re fully aware that many may not want to stay on the ride. We understand. Even so, “I’m canceling Mercury,” has been a trending phrase over the last few days. If you’ve already done so, that’s pretty much that. That said, if you don’t know how… Well, we’re a helpful bunch. Let us lend you a hand.

How to cancel your Shacknews Mercury Subscription

So here’s really the whole deal about scrapping your Mercury subscription in a few easy steps.

  • Log into your Shacknews account using the Log In / Register button at the top bar.
  • Click on the Account button at the top after you log in.
  • Navigate to the Mercury option of the account menu.
  • Click the big honkin’ Cancel Mercury button.
  • Go through the immediately following prompts to finalize cancellation.

And there you have it. You’re free! You’ve done it! And you can always go back if you decide to. Otherwise, no hard feelings. See you around, maybe.


To those who stay on board: Hey, thank you. It’s your money. Nobody is forcing you to keep putting it towards us, but if you do continue to support Shacknews Mercury, we appreciate it and will continue to strive to provide you with the absolute prime sh**posting that you, the Shacknews faithful, deserve. I mean...  you surely deserve something while our warehouse scabs figure out the equation of mailing clothing right? Shantynews can’t stop, won’t stop, might stop (but not anytime soon). Look forward to more irreverent takes on the usual content and news in the near future.

- Posted by the Hole in my Own Foot

From The Chatty
  • reply
    January 20, 2021 12:00 PM

    Shantynews wrote a thing!

    Read more: How to cancel your Shacknews Mercury subscription

    • reply
      January 20, 2021 12:02 PM

      [deleted]

    • reply
      January 20, 2021 12:04 PM

      NEVER

    • reply
      January 20, 2021 12:07 PM

      So there is still no way to disassociate our credit card info from the account, even after canceling membership?

      • reply
        January 20, 2021 12:13 PM

        Don't worry it's WEP encrypted.

        • reply
          January 20, 2021 12:23 PM

          I worked VERY hard to make sure the information is stored in notepad plaintext files properly

        • reply
          January 20, 2021 1:20 PM

          Can we switch to double ROT13 encryption?

      • reply
        January 20, 2021 12:19 PM

        Email administrator@shacknews.com and we'll get you sorted out.

        We are working on a more permanent solution for this.

        • reply
          January 20, 2021 12:20 PM

          ^^^^^

        • reply
          January 20, 2021 12:41 PM

          i bought the $100 mercury last month. do i still get the shirt and hoodie?

          • reply
            January 20, 2021 12:50 PM

            as soon as the warehouse scabs figure out the equation of mailing clothing

        • reply
          January 20, 2021 12:42 PM

          Permanent? That means you guys are gonna keep it!

      • reply
        January 20, 2021 4:38 PM

        does it only store one credit card at a time? could you enter a visa cash card thats empty and bump your main cc off?

      • reply
        January 20, 2021 7:36 PM

        You guys are weird about your credit cards.

    • reply
      January 20, 2021 12:10 PM

      [deleted]

    • reply
      January 20, 2021 12:13 PM

      [deleted]

    • reply
      January 20, 2021 12:14 PM

      I didn't realize Lola hates the Browns. That must be awkward.

    • reply
      January 20, 2021 12:17 PM

      I'll never cancel my Mercury subscription. Ever.

    • reply
      January 20, 2021 12:22 PM

      Despite the actions that happened over the weekend, I don't intend to cancel. I've gotten many years of enjoyment from the site, so I look at it as back pay for all the ads I've blocked.

      • reply
        January 20, 2021 12:50 PM

        Yeah same, will keep my sub long as the lights are on.

      • reply
        January 20, 2021 4:43 PM

        same here - I have enough good times to pay off that my yearly contribution is yours through rough patches and smooth sailing

    • reply
      January 20, 2021 12:57 PM

      Glad to hear that shanty is not going away. Also

      Nothing will be posted without peer oversight.

      is a very sensible change indeed. Good stuff.

      Are you bringing back shacknews twitter account too?

    • reply
      January 20, 2021 3:16 PM

      Jedermann macht eine kleine Dummheit as my old friend Benway would say. Sub not cancelled.

    • reply
      January 20, 2021 3:21 PM

      Wait, this isn’t the fee for Mercury Villager extended warranty?

    • reply
      January 20, 2021 3:26 PM

      Sorry about all this, Asif. Hope you are doing ok. Take care.

    • reply
      January 20, 2021 3:28 PM

      i hope people don't, and i hope people who canceled will resubscribe. do it for Shacknews.

      • reply
        January 20, 2021 3:46 PM

        [deleted]

        • reply
          January 20, 2021 3:53 PM

          i'm down for shitposting if it's good-natured. the tone of the latest post is markedly different. it sounds to me like a good-faith promise to keep the shantynews stuff on the funnier side of the line between funny and mean-spirited. hopefully with the group review they mentioned, they can avoid writing another article like "australian neckbeards" that falls on the wrong side of the line

        • reply
          January 20, 2021 4:26 PM

          brb writing gummy dicks cortex

        • reply
          January 20, 2021 6:13 PM

          Pretty good response to all the virtue signaling threads IMO

      • reply
        January 20, 2021 3:53 PM

        [deleted]

        • reply
          January 20, 2021 3:55 PM

          They obviously do a ton. They show it with both their words and actions.

        • reply
          January 20, 2021 3:58 PM

          i hope you'll consider subscribing again if, going forward, their actions show that they've turned a new leaf on the mean-spirited cortex posts. they've made a promise here to do so, and now the ball is in their court to come through on their promise. i personally will continue to support them through that time, but i understand if others would prefer to wait and see. i just hope you'll reconsider if it turns out that they do make good on their promise

    • reply
      January 20, 2021 4:30 PM

      Waiting for the How To Filter Out Shantynews Posts post.

    • reply
      January 20, 2021 4:42 PM

      i'm not going to cancel my Mercury. i'll do what i can to help out the site/community. <3

    • reply
      January 20, 2021 5:39 PM

      Someone is very butthurt.

    • reply
      January 20, 2021 5:56 PM

      I love Shantynews. My Mercury is staying.

    • reply
      January 20, 2021 5:59 PM

      Come on dude.. this isn't it.

    • reply
      January 20, 2021 7:03 PM

      Not cancelling. Love for all. Hope Asif is back soon.

    • reply
      January 20, 2021 7:37 PM

      Ain’t going nowhere.

      I don’t even care about my hoodie.

    • reply
      January 20, 2021 7:38 PM

      Okay but just as a reminder how do we subscribe to mercury. I think we need an article on that.

    • reply
      January 21, 2021 6:15 AM

      What happened? Can someone link to the controversial post?

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