Saints Row: The Third Remastered impressions: Insanity at its best

Saints Row returns with a completely remastered version of Saints Row: The Third. But does this remaster live up to the hype? Or is Steelport a funky playground worth avoiding? Our impressions.

2

Let’s time travel back to 2011. Coming off the heights set with Saints Row 2, Saint’s Row: The Third took the world by storm, offering a completely off-the-walls sandbox adventure in the same vein as Grand Theft Auto. Building off the series’ success, the third entry in the series went to new heights to pave its own path, even giving players the opportunity to beat people to death with massive dildo bats. Now, Sperasoft is here to take us back to this demented land for yet another romp with Saints Row: The Third Remastered. Is this remaster what the Saints needed to get back on their feet? Or will it leave players disappointed and wanting for a complete return to form? Here’s our impressions.

Back in purple

To call Saints Row: The Third one of the craziest games I’ve ever played would be a bit of an understatement. I’ve yet to see any game that moves so well between the serious and the out-of-this-world wackiness that is on display in the third entry of the Saints Row series. While it’s been almost ten years since our first jaunt through this world, everything about Steelport is revitalized and brought back to life with updated visuals and graphics in the remaster, including the dildo bats.

On top of bringing the world up to speed with modernized graphics, the remaster also sports the three mission packs and 30 odd pieces of DLC that came with the original release, giving you every little drop of Saints Row: The Third in one beautifully rendered package. Everything you loved about the original is on full display in newly painted goodness, and it makes for one heck of a trip down memory lane.

Taking back what's yours

There’s a lot to take in when it comes to Saints Row: The Third’s massive open-world, and while Steelport might look like a generic neon-studded metropolis from the outside, once you get into the game and things really start rolling, the zigs and zags never stop coming.

Every little wacky bit of the original is on display with a fresh coat of paint and it makes for a fantastic romp back through streets paved with nostalgia. The story, while not the greatest in the world, fits so well within the world where a street gang like the Saints could and have basically become international popstars with their own drinks, clothing, and more.

One of the things that always made Saints Row: The Third so fun was the game’s unflinching silliness. Everything is on the table here, and that same zaniness is on full show in the remaster. The game’s out-of-this-world missions and the overall storyline take so many twists and turns and most of it makes absolutely zero sense in the long run, but somehow it all continues to work in the remaster, though my older brain definitely sees a lot more of the gaps in the writing now than I did before.

Pure, unadulterated chaos

There’s just something about the chaos of Saints Row: The Third that still feels really good to experience. From beating enemies to death with dildo bats, to spawning in a massive tank and blowing up cars, or even just jumping off of buildings and doing everything wacky I can think of before hitting the ground is just relieving and enjoyable in a time when open world games have become way too complex.

Having a chance to revisit the city of Steelport in a completely overhauled version is a dream come true. Sure, Saints Row: The Third has never been a perfect game, and some of the glitches and issues from the past are still in this version. But, if you want to experience one of the best open world games of the past, then the Saints Row: The Third Remaster is the perfect opportunity to do so without having to worry about how the graphics hold up after ten years.


These impressions are based on a PC code provided by the publisher. Saints Row: The Third Remastered will be available on May 22 for PC, Xbox One, and PlayStation 4.

Guides Editor

Joshua holds a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Creative Writing and has been exploring the world of video games for as long as he can remember. He enjoys everything from large-scale RPGs to small, bite-size indie gems and everything in between.

From The Chatty
  • reply
    May 21, 2020 7:01 AM

    Josh Hawkins posted a new article, Saints Row: The Third Remastered impressions: Insanity at its best

    • reply
      May 21, 2020 8:28 AM

      Are they gonna patch the Switch version?

    • reply
      May 21, 2020 10:58 AM

      Ok I lurk here mostly but wanted to comment that this article isn’t very helpful. Besides saying that the graphics are new and overhauled, what does this article actually tell me that I don’t already know? Yes it’s zany and chaotic and a diversion from GTA. Cool I figured that out when I originally played the game. What’s new about the remaster? Is it like RE3 it is it more of just a graphics update? What has been updated? Are there new features added? How does it look in 4K? What’s the frame rate like?

    • reply
      May 21, 2020 4:27 PM

      Free upgrade for existing owners on steam?

Hello, Meet Lola