The USMC has reached peak 'how do you do, fellow kids' with this terrible Smash meme

W-what are you doing, guys?

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As we're all aware by now, there was some very interesting news today from Nintendo's Super Smash Bros. Ultimate-focused Direct. Of course, the entirety of the internet has been talking about it. Everyone, including the United States Marine Corps.

Before you go getting excited, they're not talking about the new characters like Simon and Richter or even King K. Rool. They're talking about themselves. The Marines...or "Marine Corps Ultimate." Yes, they're using the Smash hype as a recruitment tool and using the Smash hashtag to get people interested in joining the USMC. The result? Oh, man. It's far too cringeworthy. Do you really want to see it? Alright then. Look below.

You can watch a quick recruitment video done up in the style of different soldiers "joining the fight," much like Smash characters. It's, uh...well, it's something. Gosh, it sure does make me want to join. 

No. Please stop, USMC. You're better than this and you know it. 

Senior Editor

Fueled by horror, rainbow-sugar-pixel-rushes, and video games, Brittany is a Senior Editor at Shacknews who thrives on surrealism and ultraviolence. Follow her on Twitter @MolotovCupcake and check out her portfolio for more. Like a fabulous shooter once said, get psyched!

From The Chatty

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      August 8, 2018 8:18 PM

      Fuckers

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      August 8, 2018 9:28 PM

      The Marine Corps is having a leadership issue in the infantry MOSs. They are also trying to make infantry more tech savvy, they are adding drone operations into infantry platoons, and want to add some computer savvy Marines into platoons. Also Marine infantry is going through quite a change, they are shrinking the size of squads and there has been talk about getting rid of first year enlistments for infantry and only allowing Marines in the infantry after 4 years of doing a technical job.

      usmcmuller can probably say more.

      That said, that video is stupid as hell.

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        August 9, 2018 4:17 AM

        General Neller is pushing some really wild ideas to try and future-proof the infantry. I'm a little biased, but I think the Marine Corps in general is much better at adapting versus the other branches. Their budget isn't anywhere near as large, so they have to make sure they get as much bang for their buck as possible.

        No way in hell they'll get rid of first term enlistments for infantry though--those jobs are as rough as they come; the only way they fill those slots is generally through recruiting guys from outside the Marine Corps who think they already know how bad it'll be. There's also a lot of value gained from the infantry Marines who transition into technical jobs later on; it's a great way to transfer basic combat skills to the guys who can't spend as much time in the field.

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      August 8, 2018 9:37 PM

      Trying to make kids want to be meat for the imperialist war machine needs more effort than a poorly edited twitter video.

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        August 9, 2018 4:18 AM

        Funny how you almost never hear this sentiment from guys who have actually served and know what the fuck they're talking about.

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          August 9, 2018 4:47 AM

          Maybe because they already drank the KoolAid

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          August 9, 2018 5:06 AM

          Thanks for your insight and service.

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          August 10, 2018 2:14 PM

          He might be right about needing a better twitter video though. It's pretty poor quality. I'm a jarhead, this seems no where near as cool as previous recruitment campaigns. It's not the first video game style USMC video though.

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      August 8, 2018 9:39 PM

      when you kill foes in real life, they dont respawn. barf, i hate military marketing.