Dear Observer,

While I think you exaggerate about the number of times I had women surrounding me at QuakeCon, I'd like to point out that I paid those girls to hang out.  The reason why I did this is of course the obvious stir it would cause, but more importantly the frivolous, guy-oriented entertainment value of the act.  Thankfully most women who have cared to share their opinion of that sad...er said act have done so positively or at worst ambivalently.

As far as women digging me, that's their decision.  I find it very flattering that a stranger would give me more than the inordinate time of day or otherwise lust after me.   Truthfully, I feel just as flattered when one of you whelps out there gain something out of my tutorials or magazine articles and take the time to share that with me.

But the truth is I'm just like anyone else who has the good fortune of being at the right place at the right time.  I'm the same way now as I've been since I started my career in 1992.  The overwhelming difference is that I now work at id.  People listen to me because of the success of the people who made id what it is today.  Not because I'm something special. Trust me.  There's plenty of persons out there who just need an audience...their 10 minutes of fame.   

id felt it needed someone with my skillset so they hired me (actually I was the second at least and possibly the THIRD choice for the position.  The other guy(s) turned them down if you can believe it).  I value my work above all else and at the time of my hire was one of id's biggest, geeked-out fans.  I believe in unconditional hard work, discipline and a sincere motivation to do what's fair and appropriate given the situation. Overall (as this grows into a long-winded diatribe) my deal is that:

a.) I'm a show-off and ham by nature. 
b.) I enjoy teaching.
c.) I'm a guy.
d.) I love women.
e.) People generally like to hear what I have to say because I say it like it fucking is with no other ulterior motive than maybe to entertain.
f.) I abhor and loathe weakness, especially the kind shown by guys who try strap-on, 90's androgyny with the intent of impressing some woman with their equally strap-on level of compassion, sensitivity and understanding.

I have problems and stress just like everyone else.  When I leave id Software it will no doubt cause a stir, but in the end it won't mean dick. People will get on with their lives, hopefully say things like, "Remember when Steed said..." and crack a smile.  Which comes to my ultimate proclamation:

"None of this 'celebrity' shit means anything to me." 

Really.  It doesn't.  All you web pimps are more celebrities to me than developers are since you do all the real work.  I just never take it seriously.   Never.  I'll dig it for as long as it lasts and then when people can care less than usual who I am or what I do, I'll just do something else that will get me some attention ;]

There's a fine line between confidence and arrogance.  I'm a confident person who tries real hard not to be arrogant.  Making other people uncomfortable makes me uncomfortable.  Bad karma if nothing else.

As far as Mynx goes, she's the cyber yin to my yang.  For someone so young she dispenses wisdom to you people with an unrestrained ardor that I doubt very few can truly appreciate.  Intellectually she has an intuitive grasp of the basic human condition and unabashedly forms it into easily digestible pearls.  Her blatant femininity and overt sexuality is protected by the vastness and general anonymity of the internet.   She's a force who's aura in person is no doubt a tangy, tangible, tasty thing.   If we ever met in person we'd have to have sex immediately just on principle.

So in conclusion and in answer to your query, that's what I think.  And if you really think I'm so cool, send me naked pics of your girlfriend ;p

Comments?