Here it is, the night! The Spike TV Video Game Awards kicks off soon with a pre-show (8:30pm EST). As lame as it sounds, I'm hosting a viewing party. In actuality, it was just an attempt to get some free food as I told everyone to bring a snack.

- Hollywood is "turning up the heat" on illegal downloading.
- US team to use humans for SARS vaccine testing.
- Wanna gain weight? Move to America!
- If you wear a bin Laden mask and jump in front cars while holding a gun, you may get shot.

Lastly, if you're an old man (like Steve) and young women ask you to drop your trousers (unlike Steve), they're most likely just trying to steal your wallet.