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In reply: my White Elephant from NAME REDACTED! Read on for the full story...
Thread Truncated. Click to see all 13 replies.
EYES ONLY: POST MISSION REPORT FOLLOWS
CLEARANCE: INDIGO
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On 17-Jan-2011, I received a mysterious package: http://www.flickr.com/photos/thoughtcrime/5406515380/in/set-72157625950443600/lightbox/
No letter was to be found. No identifying marks. So I began pulling the box apart in search of clues. http://www.flickr.com/photos/thoughtcrime/5405909773/in/set-72157625950443600/lightbox/
The first item in the box was a packet of plastic army soldiers. I pondered... perhaps my mysterious benefactor is a military man? http://www.flickr.com/photos/thoughtcrime/5405909983/in/set-72157625950443600/lightbox/
Next was a parcel within the parcel:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/thoughtcrime/5405910353/in/set-72157625950443600/lightbox/ strange...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/thoughtcrime/5406517356/in/set-72157625950443600/lightbox/ a light bulb?
Suddenly, a light bulb turned on in my head, and it all became clear. This was a message! My benefactor was in trouble! He must have sent this array of random items to get around government censors. I can only assume that it was mailed after he did not return from an operation. My mission -- if you'll permit me to speak freely, commander -- was to use my Macguyver-like instincts to divine the message within this box o' junk. With a fresh set of eyes, I set upon the remaining items.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/thoughtcrime/5405911429/in/set-72157625950443600/lightbox/
Hmmmm, let's see. A puzzle reinforced the idea that I must put these clues together to find the answer. Some ramen implied that they must be feeding the hostage horribly. An Elton John and Leon Russel song card: sadly, torture must be involved. Barbarians. An empty ziplock bag, with the name Vangard embossed on it:the name of a private security firm maybe?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/thoughtcrime/5405911675/in/set-72157625950443600/lightbox/
Two apparent 'games' shed light on the hostage's terrible plight. MLB Slugfest unequivocally implied that the torture was physical -- a welcome relief, as I knew that trained operatives can withstand physical torture longer than some mental tortures. He was telling me that we still had some time: he was apparently stalling them with some sort of Fable, and this clue told me that it was working. I'm sure these two held further secrets, but unfortunately I do not have the archaic systems required to play them. I hoped that I had gleaned enough from their boxes.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/thoughtcrime/5406517984/in/set-72157625950443600/lightbox/
Next out of the box appeared to be items crucial for the success of a rescue mission. A makeshift garotte implied that a silent rescue would be the best approach. Negotiation had been tried, and failed, so now unconventional tactics were required (or so I assumed from MI-2. It turned out to be an elaborate plot by Scientologists). Finally, an empty toilet roll holder told me that the hostage was being held in a jungle facility.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/thoughtcrime/5406518210/in/set-72157625950443600/lightbox/
The final four items consisted of some Pocky, another hint to location of our hostage, as well as a tasty snack for a rescuer. An encyclopedia of guns; the organisation holding our hostage was involved with gun smuggling. The final two items were completely inscrutable: a Texas Hold 'Em electronic game and the videogame Bully. How these two would help in the rescue mission was unclear, but fortunately by this point I had ascertained enough to narrow down the location to NAME REDACTED, NAME REDACTED, or NAME REDACTED. I forwarded the issue to my superiors on 18-Jan-11.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/thoughtcrime/5406518564/in/set-72157625950443600/lightbox/
All of the items in the shipment, for your perusal.
Respectfully,
Pvt Arctic Fox
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END MISSION REPORT
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ACTIONABLE ITEMS: STRIKE FORCE LAMP, SAND AND LIME DISPATCHED TO NAME REDACTED on 19-Jan-2011 at 00:25
COMMANDER SAILOR OF FORTUNE RESCUED WITH MINIMAL COLLATERAL DAMAGE TO FOREIGN INTERESTS
COMMANDER IS CURRENTLY RECEIVING MEDICAL TREATMENT IN A SECURE FACILITY
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