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Now, skin the fiends and collect as much of their body fat as you can. Put the fat in your bathtub and add some lye and a touch of lavender extract (not too much!). Before you know it you'll have soap!
Meanwhile you should carefully shear the pubic hair from their skins and put it aside, then have their hides professionally tanned and made into nice chamois.
Remember that pubic hair you saved? Good! You're going to be making a brush. The first step in making a brush is to find a nice handle. I prefer to use a femur because bending down can cause back aches. Drill small holes in the end of the bone and glue in the pubic hairs. Now you can buy any water proof adhesive at the hardware store but I prefer to make mine out of boiled fingernails and spinal disks. It's up to you.
This next step is the most work but without it you will surely run out of elbow grease before that paint is gone. You'll need to grind up all the bones (except the one you made into a brush, of course!). The bone dust will be mixed with the blood and create a mild abrasive that will be sure to whisk that paint right off, lickety split. There are many ways to grind up bones. I'd suggest contacting your local funeral home for advice.
Once you have your soap, bonedust laden blood, pubic brush and man chamois you can use them to wash your car.
Good luck, and have fun!
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