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With that long, awkward sentence behind us, let's take a look at the Elven Legacy demo. It begins with a cutscene explaining how wonderful and noble elves are, and how jealous everyone else is of them. If I could just briefly address the elves here: it's not that everyone is jealous of you, it's that we don't like you. It's the arrogance, see, the other-worldliness, the immortality you're always rubbing in everyone else's faces. We're not jealous of you, we just loathe your smug woodland asses. For the record, the only elves anyone actually likes are Legolas, Mr. Spock, Zooey Deschanel, and the ones who bake cookies in that hollow tree.
It's a little hard to understand the tutorial due to a bug that often begins the narrator's next sentence before he's finished his previous sentence. I wind up trying to decipher instructions like "Your scout units can move past enemies in adjacent hexes by -- After attacking they are able to -- Healing your units can be accomplished by clicking the -- Now you've learned how to invade towns." Not fully understanding what each unit can do, combined with my aforementioned ineptitude at strategy games, indicates the upcoming battle is not going to go well.
The circumstance my units keep finding themselves in, meanwhile, is being dispatched to strategically questionable hexes on the battlefield by their idiotic commander (me), resulting in vast numbers of them being hewn apart by orcs and wolves. I start with two archery units, one infantry unit, and some sort of flying boat that drops bombs. I also have a few special elves, one with a magic bow and one who casts spells, who each fight on their own (and die on their own).
I finally do get my act together, win a few skirmishes, and eventually march to the wall I'm supposed to be attacking. Beyond the wall are enemy siege units, several of them, which start lobbing bombs at the remains of my forces. I retreat, hoping to move my archers out of range, though the visibility restrictions of the game prevent me from spotting a unit of nearby enemy wolves, who swarm in and attack. Followed by another group of wolves. And a group of giant boars. And a group of orcs. And another group of orcs. And some more wolves. And some Spanish Conquistadors. And some more boars. It's all over pretty quickly.
[Christopher Livingston is a freelance writer with plenty of time for games but not enough money to buy them. Thus was born The Demoman; a shadowy yet helpful figure dedicated not to helping you decide which expensive games to buy, but which free game demos to play.]
Download the Elven Legacy demo.
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