I'm finding it hard to talk about Resident Evil 5, in the same way that one would have a hard time talking about the kid that dropped out of school. I had such hopes.

My love for Resident Evil 4 is no secret. It was a rare late-in-the-series sequel that redefined the franchise without reshaping it, keeping the concept intact while upping the action and atmosphere. It was fundamentally well-designed, with brilliant mechanics and stages, and an unusual amount of memorable gaming sequences.

Going into the anticipated "next-gen" sequel, I didn't expect, or even necessarily want, Capcom to attempt to top its most recent masterpiece. Instead, I figured I'd be happy with similar mechanics, the addition of co-op, and a few surprises.

Unfortunately, the real surprise was my disappointment.

Who's The Boss?
I wasn't playing Resident Evil 5 to hunt for racism. I don't particularly care how silly the story is. I didn't want to criticize its controls--which I am partial to, in fact.

What I wanted to know was whether it had the same sorts of memorable moments that Resident Evil 4 did. Would I get the same thrill that I did from the brilliant, chaotic opening? Would there be anything to compare to the Night of the Living Dead, holed-up-in-a-house sequences? Or the wonderfully-staged boss fights?

Well, Resident Evil 5 does have those moments in its first three chapters. The problem is that they are clearly those moments--and beyond the obvious, derivative nature of them, Capcom has actually managed to make them worse.

The easiest way of singling out the differences is by looking at the boss fights, and the best example is a boss encountered halfway through the second chapter. After escaping across the African desert in a jeep, using a turret to shoot zombie motorcyclists, I was reintroduced to the infamous ogre-like El Gigante creature from Resident Evil 4. This time he had a new hairstyle.

Please install Flash to view this Shackvideo

Shackvideo users can use the HD Stream.

The first battle with El Gigante in Resident Evil 4 was fought on the ground, with only a few wooden huts to provide cover. Like most great boss fights it was intimidating as hell, which made it all the more meaningful when you were standing over the thing's corpse.

In Resident Evil 5, you fight El Gigante using a turret mounted to the back of a stationary jeep. You point the cursor at his eye, hold down the trigger, and repeat. Occasionally you have to duck one of his attacks in a Quick Time Event.

Why El Gigante doesn't just kick over the jeep and instantly flatten your stationary ass is beside the point. The fight itself is just plain boring, and it's not the only one. Capcom has taken its cues from Resident Evil 4, but the underlying design feels less sharp across the board.

The chainsaw bosses are back, but this time they pause before attacking you, eliminating the scary abruptness of their decapitations. There's an unimaginative monster of a boss that you have to chase around a circular path in broad daylight--too easy and typical of a fight to be tense in the least. There's another giant, water-bound boss, but its design is not nearly as effective as the giant alligator from RE4. And it's fought from--wait for it--a turret.

Turn The Bird Crank
Singling out the boss fights is the easiest way of illustrating my disappointment, but that's not my only beef with Resident Evil 5.

Gone is the captivating atmosphere, the gritty setting that was RE4's Spanish backwoods. In its place is a bright, dusty and ultimately dull version of Africa, with a scorching sun that eliminates any chance of spookiness.

Turn the page for more.