Oh, you thought that the industry had finally escaped the grasp of the Spike TV Video Game Awards? Not quite. Here are a few of the "acceptance speeches" that couldn't make it into the program--not because Spike TV decided to ignore most of the winners, but because these digitally rendered characters didn't win.

The Joker won the award for "Best Character," but here are the potential speeches you would've heard had Portal 2's Wheatley or Uncharted 3's Nathan Drake had won.