Kevin Cloud on Steed & DOOM3

... and in this corner, weighing in at an IQ too low to be measured, the one... the only... Dig... what? Oh, sorry.. Daaaaggaaaah! The contenders, fresh off of the recent Doom 3 announcement and alllll riled up.... Shuuuuuuga.. Shaaaaaaaack.

Lllllllettt's get ready to RUUUMMMBBLLE!

[bThe comment heard round the world:]b
#19 Anon@dc2-isdn2053.dial.xs4all.nl:
With all the talk about Doom 3 I wanted to install Doom ][ again. But.. ehm, anyone know how I get my DOOM to run on Windows 2000? :)


Round 1:
#52 Daggah:
#19, oh fuck you, you wanna-be. Fuck you and fuck your false nostalgia too!
Assholes.
-------------------------------------
#56 StimpyBoy-KNoB-:
#52, who the fuck pissed in your cornflakes this morning Daggah?
-------------------------------------
#57 FreshView:
#52, Look, nancy-boy, I think I hear your mother calling.
Why don't you go home and cry about it for a little while, you fucking pussy?
-------------------------------------
#62 Anon@we-24-130-85-216.we.mediaone.net
#52 And who shit in your mouth!

Scoring:
Ya gotta credit Daggah for the sneak attack, you know Anon didn't see that coming. Anon's off balance and reeling and the best he could come up with was the old "piss and cornflakes" rejoinder. Freshview wades in with a mother reference, but it doesn't pack quite as much punch, since it lacked the use of the word "fuck" three times in two sentences.

Daggah: 5
Shack: 2


Round 2:
#67 Daggah:
You guys don't understand shit, do you?
The DOOM community is beautiful. It has been beautiful. But thanks to id Software and its money-grubbing strategies, the beautiful DOOM community will lose all of its beauty, because it's soon to be filled up with lamers like FreshView and like-minded morons.
Hell, it's probably already started. The waves of "nostalgia" are already probably hitting people, and curiously they'll venture over to Doomworld or some other DOOM news site and start downloading levels, commenting on messageboards, and stupid shit.
Well, whatever... I think I'll delete DOOM now. There's no place for it now that id Software's doing this shit. It's a fucking sad day in hell when I feel the need to delete DOOM off of my hard drive...
----------------------------------
#69 FreshView
Well, whatever...I think I'll delete DOOM now. There's no place for it now that id Software's doing this shit. It's a fucking sad day in hell when I feel the need to delete DOOM off of my hard drive...
Does this mean you'll take your fucking pissy whining and crying elsewhere?
"sad day in hell" WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ANYWAY?
-----------------------------------
#73 CatTurd
I thought every day would be a sad day in hell... And the Doom community? Where? I must have missed them while doing other, important things.. like playing CURRENT games..

Scoring:
Good to see both fighters starting to mix things up a little bit. Daggah is taking a risk when he insults the contender directly, and his inference that any new blood to the Doom community is by definition bad blood. Still, he does use the word fuck again, albeit in a malformed analogy. Freshview won't let that slide, though, and jumps all over it. Supported by CatTurd, they combine to gain back some ground against Daggah:

Daggah: 6
Shack: 3


Round 3:
#74 Daggah
#69, like I said, you don't understand shit. And when you don't understand, there's no reason for you to say anything, bitch. So shut the fuck up, because you don't understand.
----------------------------------
#75 Anon@we-24-130-85-216.we.mediaone.net
#67 Wasn't Doom one of the most successful games of all time? Do you know how many idiots love that game? Do you think that you are among the 1337 Doom players in the world?
----------------------------------
#76 StimpyBoy-KNoB-
#67, bud take this from one Epic fanboy to another...
You need to lay off the meth buddy.
----------------------------------
#77 deucy
#69,hell is Daggah's happy place...:)#

Scoring:
Pretty pitiful performance by both fighters, although Daggah manages to extend his streak of consecutive shots using the word "fuck" to three. A mini-jab by deucy does little damage, but may be a portent of things to come. And StimpyBoy seems to imply that on some things he and Daggah see eye to eye, but that even StimpyBoy can't support Daggah on this. That does not bode well for the rest of the fight...

Daggah: 7
Shack: 3


Round 4:
#78 Daggah
#73, you're one of the morons that's going to help ruin the DOOM community when DOOM becomes a "current" game, you stupid fuck.
Well, at least I can still take pride in the fact that in its current state, for a game that's over 6 years old, the community behind DOOM is better than the community behind any of the Quake games.

Scoring:
Daggah gets an unanswered jab in this round. Unfortunately he weakens the effectiveness with a comparison that doesn't quite come together. Consecutive posts containing the word "fuck": 4 Inept comparisons: 3 Overall, no damage done.

Daggah: 7
Shack: 3


Round 5:
#81 Daggah
#75, players, no. I don't have much actual skill.
But I can guarantee you that in the last three years of my life, I have played and messed with DOOM more than any of you sad fuckers here (unless prower, afterglow, or one of the many other cool people from the DOOM community show up, that is).
---------------------------------
#83 FreshView
#74, *sniff, sniff*
WAAAAAHHH YOU GUYS ARE RUINING MY PRECIOUS DOOM COMMUNITY.. WAAAAAH
*sniff, sniff*
---------------------------------
#85 Anon@we-24-130-85-216.we.mediaone.net
#81, YOU ARE THE REINCARNATION OF JESUS CHRIST! GO PREACH THE WORD SAVIOR!

Scoring:
The only feature of this round worth mentioning is the seemingly unstoppable power of Daggah to use the word "fuck" in some form or another in post after post. How does he maintain that kind of stamina. Unbelievable. Freshview plays the sarcastic card, which is handily offset by Daggah's lackluster "sad fuckers" comment. Stalemate.

Daggah: 8
Shack: 4


Round 6:
#86 Daggah
#76, I think you're confusing the fact that I only merely enjoy Unreal Tournament. In the long run, I don't even give a fuck about Unreal Tournament. DOOM...well damn, now I can't even say DOOM owns. I've gotta get specific here. Ultimate DOOM and DOOM II rule!
---------------------------------
#88 avixe
#81, on the other hand, I've simply played the game. Are you better than me? No.
---------------------------------
#89 FreshView
#81, But I can guarantee you that in the last three years of my life, I have played and messed with DOOM more than any of you sad fuckers here
OH, I'M SO SORRY, I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW FUCKING special YOU WERE...
Fucking shut up already, man, everyone here played doom, everyone here messed with doom, just because some of us liked to play newer games doesn't make you any better you fucking cocksucker.
---------------------------------
#90 Saeger
#67, It's one thing to be slightly miffed about id's decision to rehash a classic (for guaranteed sales.) It's another thing to be an extremist bitch out of touch with reality.
Sure, even I had HOPED id would have gone in a new direction, but instead they chose to have fun remaking a virtually riskfree classic that they knew people (even me), would just eat up.
It's just too bad the cat's out of the bag is all.


Scoring:
Daggah seems to be holding back, this round. He makes obligatory use of "fuck" but his heart isn't in it. Could he be slowing down already? Avixe steps in with a question that speaks directly to the point at hand, and then tags FreshView who wallops Daggah big time. Not only does Freshie call Daggah on the carpet for basically bashing anyone who now goes to play DooM and claims that their nostalgia must be false, he does so in style. A wicked left "fucking cocksucker" catches Daggah on the chin and he appears stunned. Saeger gets in a kidney shot but then dilutes the effectiveness with some sane commentary or other intended to misdirect Daggah and soften him up for the next round.

Daggah: 8
Shack: 7



Round 7:
#94 Daggah
#89, did I ever say I was "special"? No.
Am I more dedicated to DOOM than you are? Yes. The DOOM community needs dedicated people, not "I'm leaving to go play the most current game" people.
--------------------------------
#95 CatTurd
So what youve spent the last 3 years of your life playing Doom (letting it die.. sorry..)... Just because I spent the last 3 years of my life perfecting my running game in Tecmo Bowl 1 doesn't mean I should be granted anything special. That means I am a loser. (hint)


Scoring:
Another lackluster round on both parts. No points awarded. Point of interest - Daggah's string of 6 rounds in a row using the word "fuck" is brought to an end here. Both fighters seems to be conserving their strength. Perhaps things will heat up shortly.

Daggah: 8
Shack: 7


Round 8:
#98 Daggah
#90, "extremist bitch"?
Try simply being extremely dedicated to the best two games of all time, and being pissed that a money-grubbing company is
trying to ruin it all for a quick buck.
-----------------------------------
#99 FreshView
#94, Am I more dedicated to DOOM than you are? Yes. The DOOM community needs dedicated people, not "I'm leaving to go play the most current game" people.
If you can't see that the DOOM community already has all the dedicated people it's going to get, then you're beyond our help.
However, I'll still flame your sorry, whiny, teary-eyed ass.

Scoring:
Daggah makes a sweeping generalization, here, and a subjective one, at that. He really over extends himself, and he may pay for it later. FreshView doesn't notice the misstep now, but he may capitalize on it later. No points awarded.

Daggah: 8
Shack: 7


Round 9:
#101 Daggah
#95, given that there aren't a shitload of people modifying some stupid football game, there's a difference, dumbass. When you can understand what that difference is, come back and you can discuss it with me.
-------------------------------------
#102 FreshView
#98, THE FUCKING COMPANY THAT CREATED IT YOU FUCKING MORON.
SOME OF THE PEOPLE RESPONSIBLE FOR IT, YOU MORON.
The team members that are missing... well, I agree, the game will suffer for it,
but you're actually condemning a company for using it's own trademark.
Is there a name for what's wrong with you, or are we going to get to come up with one in the course of this flamewar?
--------------------------------------
#106 Anon@we-24-130-85-216.we.mediaone.net
DAGGAH = OWNED
--------------------------------------
#107 pupismyname
#98, then don't fucking play it.
your precious community will be there after all it all passes.
daggah's last 100 comments summed up: "change is bad"
doom fanboy
--------------------------------------
#109 deucy
#86,Daggah stop taking it so hard dude,old doom is dead face it..=#
how many people are playing doom now? seriously,why would'nt you want to see it done over nicely,fucking 733ts man damn!
--------------------------------------
#110 Anon@firewall.phl.cursci.com
Daggah, you weren't even in the Doom community when it first came out.
Your just a dumb kid. Oh I forgot you just finished your junior year in high school your a dumb man now.
---------------------------------------
#112 avixe
Look, nothing's good enough for Daggah's Doom, mmkay?


Scoring:
Phew, a much more lively round than we've seen lately. Lot's of good shots, and Daggah takes a couple of damaging blows, as pointed out by #106. We have a well articulated slam from Freshview, something we've grown to expect from him, and shot from a new entrant, pupismyname, strikes a glancing blow. Deucy seems to sympathize, but I think he's got a big stick behind his back, and #110 goes straight for the knockout with an age reference that seems to make sense... until you check the spelling... close one, but no connection.

Daggah: 8
Shack: 11


Round 10:
#116 Daggah
#102, let's see, Carmack's very nearly the only part of that company anyway.
And to be honest, the original levels and shit in both DOOMs sucked ass (except for E1 - Romero - gone). id Software is only id Software in name.
-----------------------------
#122 FreshView [Jun 2nd 2000, 01:06 pm] [ reply ]
#116, Carmack.. AND THE ENTIRE FUCKING ART DEPARTMENT, YOU FUCKING IDIOT.
All the level designers are gone, from what I recall, so you get fresh blood, and so what if id is id in name?
YOU THINK IBM IS THE SAME AS WHEN IT WAS FOUNDED?
DO THEY STILL GET TO USE THEIR TRADEMARKS?
YOU FUCKING IDIOT?
----------------------------
#124 Anon@we-24-130-85-216.we.mediaone.net
#117, Compare both those communities with the Half-Life community. You are holding on to a dead squirrel that used to be great but is now dead so I don't advise that you take anymore bites out of its head.


Scoring:
This round goes into the WTF?! department. Both fighters appear to be reeling, and Freshview (from whom we've come to expect rational, well thought-out pokes and jabs) seems to be frothing at the mouth and having problems with coherency! Fortunately for the Shack, Daggah seems equally out of it. Negative points to both sides - very disappointing.

Daggah: 6
Shack: 9


Round 11:
#125 Daggah
#122, Carmack designed the engine.
Who cares about the engine? Oh wait, you lamers think graphics matter. My bad.
The artists? They designed, what, the textures and sprites? Do I give a fuck about those? That's not what makes DOOM DOOM. It's the atmosphere, which is something id Software is incapable of recreating.
----------------------------
#128 FreshView
#125, You are so full of gas and bullshit, it's no longer even funny, though still oddly amusing.
You're actually arguing that id shouldn't use their own tradmark, right?
Is that about the size of it?
Care to back up that argument in any way, shape or form?
Oh, by the way, the engine does matter, I'd explain it to you, but I think you lack the intellectual resources at this point.
----------------------------
#130 Anon@we-24-130-85-216.we.mediaone.net
#125, You have been OWNED for 19 posts. SHUT THE FUCK UP.
----------------------------
#136 Anon@odyssey.amag.com
#125, fucking relax, man.
id is not coming to your house to ass-rape you and steal all your doom games. they are making a new game.
-----------------------------
#137 Anth
#125, <== This has got to be the *STUPIDEST* post I have EVER seen on the shack, and that is really saying something...
-----------------------------
#139 FreshView
#134, BLABHALBHAHBALBAH
FALSE NOSTALGIA!!!
BLABHALBHALHLABHAB
--Daggah
-----------------------------
#141 Bullgod
Daggah,
I havent been on this board very long at all, but I have been reading your posts I have found you to be the biggest jackass in the forum. I've never heard more shit spewed from an asshole since the last time I got food poisoning. Congratulations, you are the winner.
------------------------------
#142 Anon@we-24-130-85-216.we.mediaone.net
Daggah hasn't posted in a while. He is either:
A) Writing a disertation on DOOM to show that DOOM really is the greatest.
or
B) Realizing that he is OWNED and shutting the fuck up.


Scoring:
As in round 9, a flurry of blows rain down on Daggah. Multiple holes in Daggah's defenses are located and exploited in almost military fashion... these people are brutal. Bullgod takes the round easily with one of the best "quiet" slams seen in the fight yet. Sarcasm mixed with ass-metaphors - absolutely brilliant! #130 points out, again, that Daggah is really taking it on the chin, and that he ought to throw in the towel. But if I know Daggah (and unfortunately, we all do) he will not admit defeat.

Daggah: 8
Shack: 15


Round 12:
#144 Daggah
#124, clueless asshole.
----------------------------------
#145 Anon@c417749-a.flrmnd1.tx.home.com
daggah = tool
----------------------------------
#148 avixe
Let's see...we just got yet another new source port.
We?
-----------------------------------
#150 Daggah
#148, you know, we as in the DOOM community.
Stupid fools.
-----------------------------------
#149 Daggah
#129, does the DOOM engine suck graphics-wise?
Well, does it?
And yet the atmosphere is still there.
Dumbass!
-----------------------------------
#153 Anon@we-24-130-85-216.we.mediaone.net
#144, Try you? And what? You'll come after me with your half-eaten squirrel? I told you that it wasn't good to eat the squirrel. I wash my hands.
-----------------------------------
#154 Daggah
#141, yeah, shame on me for protecting the two best games of all time. Such a fucking jackass.

Scoring:
Wow. Both fighters are warned not to continue to spew insults after the bell has rung. One round, one comment - that's the way it works, folks. Still, Daggah lands some moderately damaging shots and does well to recover some ground. Short, small, and stupid - but effective.

Daggah: 10
Shack: 15


Round 13:
#155 Daggah
#153, you're such a moron.
--------------------------------------
#156 FreshView
#144, dude. It's so dead.
Fuck off already. Go whine and cry in your stupid fucking Doom Community.
---------------------------------------
#158 avixe
I dunno Daggah, I'm imagining you riding the short bus right now and licking the windows - it's damn funny.
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#159 Anon@we-24-130-85-216.we.mediaone.net
#156, Well put. I would ask everyone not to respond to Daggah anymore but...well OWNED.
---------------------------------------
#161 Johnny Rotten
OMFG, some one please tell me how to killfile Daggah....
--------------------------------------
#162 FreshView
#149, No it doesn't suck, it never sucked, it's been outpaced, yes.
You fool, without carmack's engine, the atmosphere you speak so loftily about would not be possible.
Think about it and get back to me. Oh wait.. I asked you to think. sorry, my mistake.
--------------------------------------
#172 Anon@modemcable226.13-201-24.mtl.mc.videotron.net
#156, Please, insult Daggah if you want, as he is truly a fuckhead.
--------------------------------------
#176 dshowcase
I vote Daggah is a retard.
--------------------------------------
#183 FreshView
#171, *rolls up sleeves*
You're obviously one of them. One of the Nine Inch Nails fans who abandoned NIN when Downward Sprial came out becasue "it got too big", one of the Radiohead fans who hates The Bends....
You're an elitist prick, and I will mercilessly flame you until you shut the fuck up about your ridiculous obsession with a ridiculous little community.
So what if the community grows huge and a bunch of shitty mods are created?
Will that stop the good ones from being created?
No.
Don't be such a fucking lame, immature moron.
Oh wait, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ask the impossible.
Like I said.
Go cry in your useless little doom community, at least there you will get anyone to agree with you.


Scoring:
After that knockout punch from Freshview, someone in Daggah's corner, for god's sake, throw in the towel! He's taking a beating out there, and it is NOT pretty. This thing seems to have really picked up steam and I think that even if Daggah could form a cogent, non-insulting, "fuck"-less comment, he wouldn't be heard. These people are going to lynch him!

It's over! It's over! Shack wins by a landslide! There's fighting in the arena.. people throwing chairs! Oh my god, the humanity! Look ou.....



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EzKilla