I ended up mostly playing King's Bounty: Armored Princess. It's fun. That's my review.
I've tried almost every potion, poultice, syrup, pill, powder, lozenge and tincture under the sun, all to no avail. Desperate times call for desperate measures and it'll be a cold day in Walthamstow before I let Kwanzaa be ruined too so if I'm not on the mend by tomorrow it'll be the ole Dr. Bronner's Magic Soap. Dilute! Dilute! O.K.!