TF2 'War' Update Weapons, Achievements Unveiled

With Team Fortress 2's 'War' update arriving today, Valve has revealed the demoman and soldier's other alternative weapons, as well as their new achievements.

The demoman's final weapon is revealed as The Scottish Resistance, a replacement sticky-bomb launcher which detonates only the spiky balls o' doom the cyclopean eye is looking at and is able to lay down twice as many, but each has a longer priming time.

nope

Replacing the soldier's shotgun, when carried The Buff Banner charges as the soldier takes damage, ultimately allowing him to raise it for fourteen seconds and grant nearby teammates mini-crits. The Equalizer pickaxe "becomes more deadly the more damage you take, letting you move faster and hit harder the more wounds you endure."

In war news, we are delighted to report that the crafty demoman has almost caught up to the idiot soldier in the war to earn a "secret, exclusive" fourth weapon, and at time of writing is behind by only 14,792 kills. The canny Scot would be ahead had the soldier's score not been artifically inflated by the winners of a propaganda poster contest.

A list of the two classes' new achievements follows below.

Demoman achievements.

Shorn Connery
Decapitate a cloaked Spy.

Laddy Macdeth
Kill 50 enemies with direct hits from the Grenade Launcher.

Caber Toss
Bounce an enemy into the air and kill them before they land.

The Stickening
Kill 5 Heavies from full health with a single sticky bomb detonation.

Glasg0wned
Kill 25 Scouts and Pyros with the Grenade Launcher.

Scotch Tap
Glory in the slaughter of your enemies using the Eyelander.

The Targe Charge
Charge and kill someone with your shield bash.

Beat Me Up, Scotty
Use a full charge critical swing with the Eyelander to kill 5 enemy players.

Something Stickied This Way Comes
Kill 30 players with air burst sticky bombs.

The High Road
Sticky jump onto a cap point and capture it.

Bloody Merry
Provide an enemy player with a freeze cam of your smiling face.

Second Eye
Provide an enemy player with a freeze cam of you shaking your rump.

He Who Celt It
Use the Sticky Launcher to kill an enemy player via environmental damage.

Robbed Royal
Destroy 100 sticky bombs with the Scottish Resistance.

Highland Fling
Sticky jump a really long way...

Pipebagger
Kill at least three players with a single detonation of sticky bombs.

Spynal Tap
Kill 20 spies within 5 seconds of them sapping a friendly building.

Sticky Thump
Using the Scottish Resistance, kill 3 players in separate explosions without placing new sticky bombs.

Kilt in Action
Kill 500 enemy Soldiers.

Tam O'Shatter
Destroy 5 enemy Engineer buildings during a single UberCharge from a Medic.

Brainspotting
Decapitate 50 enemy players.

Left 4 Heads
Decapitate 4 players with only 10 seconds between each kill.

Well Plaid!
Kill 10 enemies while assisting or being assisted by another Demoman.

Double Mauled Scotch
Kill 2 people in a single sticky jump.

Loch Ness Bombster
Kill an enemy player with sticky bombs within 5 seconds of them teleporting.

Three Times a Laddy
Dominate three Engineers.

Blind Fire
Kill an Engineer building that you can't see with a direct hit from your Grenade Launcher.

The Scottish Play
Get a melee kill while sticky jumping.

The Argyle Sap
Blow up an Engineer, his sentry gun, and his dispenser with a single Sticky bomb detonation.

Slammy Slayvis Woundya
Decapitate an enemy Soldier who is brandishing the Equalizer.

There Can Be Only One
Decapitate your nemesis.

Tartan Spartan
Do 1 million points of total blast damage.

Scotch Guard
Kill 3 enemies capping or pushing a cart in a single Stickybomb detonation 3 separate times.

Bravehurt
Kill 200 players defending a capture point or cart.

Cry Some Moor!
Destroy 50 buildings.

Soldier achievements.

Tri-Splatteral Damage
Kill 3 enemies with a single critical rocket.

Death from Above
Rocket jump and kill 2 enemies before you land.

Dominator
Get 3 dominations in a single life.

War Crime and Punishment
In a single life, kill 3 enemies who have damaged a Medic that is healing you.

Spray of Defeat
Use a grenade to gib a player.

Guns of the Navar0wned
Kill 5 Engineer sentries while you are standing outside of their range.

Mutually Assured Destruction
Kill an enemy sniper with a rocket after he kills you.

Wings of Glory
Kill an enemy soldier while both you and the target are airborne.

Engineer to Eternity
Kill an Engineer as he repairs his sentry gun while it's under enemy fire.

Trench Warfare
Kill your nemesis with a shovel.

Bomb Squaddie
Destroy 10 sticky bombs with the shotgun in a single life.

Where Eagles Dare
Get the highest possible rocket jump using jump and crouch.

Banner of Brothers
Buff 5 steam friends at once with the Buff Banner.

Screamin' Eagle
Kill 20 enemies from above.

Crockets Are Such B.S.
Shoot two non-boosted crit rockets in a row.

Geneva Contravention
Kill 5 defenseless players after a single match has ended.

Semper Fry
Kill 20 enemies while you are on fire.

The Longest Daze
Kill 5 stunned players.

Gore-a! Gore-a! Gore-a!
Provide the enemy with a freezecam of you taunting over 3 of their body parts.

War Crime Spybunal
Kill a Spy who just backstabbed a teammate.

Hamburger Hill
Defend a cap point 30 times.

Duty Bound
While rocket jumping kill an enemy with the Equalizer before you land.

The Boostie Boys
Buff 15 teammates with the Buff Banner in a single life.

Out, Damned Scot!
Kill 500 enemy Demomen

Frags of our Fathers
Gib 1000 people.

Backdraft Dodger
Kill a Pyro who has airblasted one of your rockets in the last 10 seconds.

Ain't Got Time to Bleed
Kill 3 players with the Equalizer in a single life without being healed.

Near Death Experience
Kill 20 enemies with your Equalizer while you have less than 25 health.

S*M*A*S*H
Assist a Medic in exploding 5 enemies with a single UberCharge.

Death From Below
Kill 10 opponents who are airborne with the Direct Hit.

Worth a Thousand Words
Provide the enemy with a freezecam of your 21 gun salute.

Brothers in Harms
Kill 10 enemies while assisting or being assisted by another Soldier.

Medals of Honor
Finish a round as an MVP 10 times.

Ride of the Valkartie
Ride the cart for 30 seconds.

For Whom the Shell Trolls
Bounce an opponent into the air with a rocket and then kill them with the shotgun before they land.