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Morning Discussion

by Alice O'Connor, Oct 23, 2009 6:00am PDT

Windows 7 has finally arrived. I was initially crushed to discover Microsoft had not chosen me to host an official Windows 7 launch party. Eventually I realised this was a blessing, though--Microsoft were freeing me from the legal obligations a sanctioned party would place upon me. I could now give Windows 7 the welcome it deserved.

Wrapped in still-bloody scottish wildcat furs, we began by stomping on bumblebees to signify its many bug fixes as we crunched through handfuls of golden eagle beaks, followed by steamed greyhound and a dessert of otter's feet in jelly, washed down with adder venom wrung direct from the serpent's face. The night had barely begun.