Contest: Win a DS Lite and Jam Sessions Through Songwriting and Remownage

By Jeff, Oct 26, 2007 11:01am PDT

The winners, in no particular order, are kallanta, liqker, RomSteady, quadeh, and AndyGoin. Chris is working on the results and should have the results for Friday's ShackCast.

Reminder: The contest ends tonight at 11:59 CST. Be sure to get your entry in and vote for your favorite! Update: Thanks to Ubisoft, the winner will also receive a Nintendo DS Lite! With the contests recently, it seemed like everyone really enjoyed our haiku challenge most of all. It's no fun to re-run the same thing, but there's certainly something to the spirit of it. So if you will consider writing a poem to be the warm-up session, for the real challenge we'd like you to lyrically craft a full song, writing your best ode to gaming or a particular game.

Our latest contest is inspired by the Plato-developed, Ubisoft-published Jam Sessions. It isn't your typical DS software, and is not so much a game as it is a guitar simulation package that allows anyone to easily express their inner Dylan.

You will have until Sunday, October 28th at 11:59 CST to write your song and post those written lyrics in the comments for this article. We would like everyone to vote for their favorites, as we will pick five from the highest voted songs.

The authors will receive not only a copy of Jam Sessions for Nintendo DS but our own Minstrel-in-Chief, Chris Remo will perform their songs with a Jam Sessions accompany. To top it off, the grand prize winner will have an actual instrumental-backed rendering by Chris.

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Comments

31 Threads* | 89 Comments*
  • Sticking with my TF2 theme for these contests, I present:

    Rocket Jumping (aka Die Sniper Die)
    ----------------------------------------------------
    I like to play the soldier,
    Snipers here I come,
    Dodging all your headshots,
    About to ruin your fun,
    Yeah I'm about to ruin your fun.

    I look down at the ground,
    And I fire my rocket,
    Jump at the same time,
    Look at how high I get,
    Wow! Look at how high I get.

    Rocket Jumping so high..
    Way up into the sky..
    Wave as I say goodbye..
    As I watch all your gibs fly..
    Die snipers die..
    Enjoy your long respawn time..
    Die snipers die..
    Die snipers die..

    I know you frown,
    When I land on your upper deck,
    Snipers try to run,
    Cause they can't handle it,
    No no, they can't handle it.

    "Soldier on the deck!"
    I hear you screaming,
    They can come and get some too,
    If they want a beating..
    But you must be dreaming..

    Rocket Jumping so high..
    Way up into the sky..
    Wave as I say goodbye..
    As I watch all your gibs fly..
    Die snipers die..
    Enjoy your long respawn time..
    Die snipers die..
    Die snipers die..
    Die snipers die...

    And as a bonus, here's an rough recording displaying how it should go, without the mistakes within of course:
    http://www.goincomputerconsulting.com/RocketJumping.mp3

    I also have "Nerf the Pyro" and "What the heck is an Uber?" in the works.

  • I give you: I Suck At Multiplayer Games

    --

    Joined a server, and don't know why,
    In TF2 I played a spy,
    And I found I like to lie,
    Didn't matter, I still died.

    Then I played as Master Chief,
    In no time flat, got chewed to beef,
    Simply caused myself some grief,
    Reswawn again, my lives were brief.

    Then I played some CS:Source,
    I tried my best to stay the course,
    Round began, I came out in force,
    And I was killed with no remorse.

    Chorus 1:
    Oh I suck at multiplayer games,
    I die and die just because I simply cannot aim.
    My pro career,
    It lives in fear,
    'Cause I always go down in flames.
    I suck at multiplayer games.

    I've always had a thing for Ryu,
    Guess that means I like Ken too,
    But I'd just get pounded into goo.
    My rounds are over at "ha-do-".

    Tried a stint with Calibur,
    Swung my sword, tried to deter,
    My rival, she began to stir,
    What happened to me was murder.

    So I tried to play VF,
    Thought my skillz, they might be deft,
    But learning this game is quite a heft,
    And I got killed, so I left.

    Chorus 2:
    Oh I suck at multiplayer games,
    My combos always cultimate in two losing rounds of shame,
    My pro career,
    May not appear,
    'Cause I always go down in flames,
    I suck at multiplayer games.

    Tried to race a muscle car,
    Burnout might let me go far,
    Jumped a curb toward the local bar,
    That crash is going to leave a scar.

    So I toyed with making lines,
    But I should have seen the signs,
    A Tetris made me lose my spine,
    Glad I could make someone shine.

    I gave up, reached back to Pong,
    Maybe here I could be strong,
    The rounds I played, they were quite long.
    But I still lost bad, I don't belong.

    Chorus 3/Finale:
    Oh I suck at multiplayer games,
    Leaderboards are never troubled by my gamer names,
    My pro career,
    Is a bloody smear,
    'Cause I always go down in flames.
    I suck at multiplayer games.

    Spoken:
    Think I'll play an RPG.
    Some Final Fantasy Tactics or something.
    That has a multiplayer mode now?
    Damnit.



  • Written in the perspective of Chris Faylor.

    Some people have their shooters
    On their consoles or their computers

    Their guns are ablaze
    and their rockets soaring
    That’s not for me, sadly
    I find it very boring

    You can keep playing your Portal
    And all the other games on Steam
    This may sound odd
    But I love me some Peggle Extreme

    <Chorus>

    The ball I shoot
    Is very cute

    And they will say
    That I am a fruit

    But Peggle is my game
    And this I cannot refute!

    </Chorus>

    Killing monsters is what you may want
    As for me I’m a bit more nonchalant

    It has a unicorn that is my guide
    As my balls and the pegs
    Purposefully collide

    Is it sad that my only joys in life
    Are Peggle and cutting myself with a linoleum knife?

    <Chorus>

    The ball I shoot
    Is very cute

    And you will say
    That I am a fruit

    But Peggle is my game
    And this I cannot refute!

    </Chorus>

    Remo said that the game Diablo
    is the best
    But Peggle is my favorite game
    It’s really no contest

    You may find this opinion queer
    That doesn't hurt my feelings
    I can assure you that it's sincere.

    Let’s get this song done
    I want to play some Peggle


    I know that last part doesn't rhyme, but it was a fitting end. In my head I wrote it like it was Mr. Rogers singing it with an aucusotic guitar, with an upbeat tempo for the chorus.

  • Okay, well I think I'm done trying to mess with this. You could call it: Wow, skizl spent way too much time thinking about this mediocre poem/song thing. :D
    ------------------------------------------------------------
    we ready up, color 8 2, light purple and blue
    the timer starts to count down, T-minus two
    who's got RA? who's got quad?
    who's got the bridge and the RL room?

    it's not about violence, i wish they could see,
    just before the match, when "gl" fills the screen
    the strategy and the teamwork in the shadows of DM3
    waiting and waiting to set jack's mind free

    and maybe some day
    there'll be a way
    to convince everyone
    that it's not a waste

    we'll have studies to show them
    that we all get As
    and moonlit basements are
    not places we'll stay... some day

    twenty minutes later when the demo has been recorded
    the other team is whining about the frags that they afforded
    "pak2!" "aimbot!" the cries will come without a doubt
    but we've got other methods for conducting this rout

    like rocket jumps from the pent to the bridge
    and a simple hop above the mound to the quad ledge
    at the RA stairway we're saving time by strafe jumping
    none of these things our opponents saw coming

    and maybe some day
    we'll have pro leagues for games
    try to stick to our roots
    but it won't be the same

    they'll have cameras and models
    corporate sponsorships
    maybe "good game" will give way
    to inflated ego trips

    but if i had my way
    i'd be back in '97
    slinging rockets and grenades
    staying up for three straight days

    doing nothing but play quake
    but i guess we have to grow up
    to new games and new names
    doing nothing but play quake
    doing nothing but play quake
    doing nothing but play quake

  • Cliffhanger
    ---

    I'm walkin' on a boat,
    Got a feelin' that I've won.
    Got nineteen evil bastards
    Fallen thanks to my big guns.
    I'm walkin' down some stairs
    Lookin' for my next big kill
    He comes out of the shadows
    Now it looks I never will
    Cause it's a

    Chorus:
    CLIFF-HAN-GER
    The story never ends
    CLIFF-HAN-GER
    Buy the next game, my friends
    CLIFF-HAN-GER
    The story wasn't right
    CLIFF-HAN-GER
    It keeps me up at night

    I'm flyin' through deep space,
    Got a shotgun in my hand.
    The Covenant armada's
    In tatters by my hand.
    My radio transponder
    Asks "What you doin', Mel?"
    I wanted to respond, er,
    The credits? What the Hell?
    Cause it's a

    Chorus

    Elexis shot me up
    With an odd cocktail
    And Jessica, my mate
    Got shot with stuff as well.
    But as I beat the chopper,
    The funding dried up fast.
    These kinds of endings suck.
    They kick me in the ass
    Cause they're a

    Chorus


  • Here's my gem :)

    Best sung to Radiohead's Creep song :) I don't know why I love that song so much, it has been a favorite for years, maybe i'm just a weirdo ;)

    video/audio of original so you can sing along if you'd ike.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxpblnsJEWM


    ==================================
    "Trailers and Gold" (gold as in 'game's ready for retail')

    When I first viewed the trailers
    Couldn't stand to look away
    It was digital perfection
    Gave me goosebumps all night
    You tease like a diamond
    In a world of EA
    I wish you were gold
    You're so fucking special

    But no not yet
    You say delayed
    Why can't I click away from you?
    You don't deserve me

    Don't care if you're buggy
    I want to have your discs
    I want a quick install
    I want a quick fix
    I want you to be there, when I get home from work
    You're so fucking special
    I wish you were gold

    But no not yet
    You say delayed
    Why can't I click away from you?
    You don't deserve me

    It's happening again
    It's happening
    I want want want WANT
    WANT
    I'll try to control myself
    And not view you again
    You're so fucking special
    I wish you were gold

    But no not yet
    You say delayed
    Why can't I click away from you?
    You don't deserve me
    You don't deserve me
    =========================

    don't be shy now, you know you love it :)



  • "Gordon's Crowbar Blues"

    It all started with a tram ride
    In a government facility
    With desert winds, and rocket engines
    And M.I.T. credibility

    There was Barney and there was Walter
    And a suit all orange and black
    Cause we all wish theoretical physics
    Was cooler than lots of math

    But oh no!
    Resonance cascade!
    Lodge that crowbar
    In some headcrab's face!
    If only I had stayed
    Home from work today!

    Suddenly there were lasers
    And aliens running everywhere
    With too many limbs blowing up into gibs
    I need to change my underwear

    And as if that weren't enough
    The government sent lots of grunts
    They set up turrets and shot their bullets
    At everyone, including us!

    Oh no!
    Resonance cascade!
    Now even marines
    Wanna shoot my face!
    If only I had stayed
    Home from work today!

    (Bridge)
    And through all the death
    All the destruction
    You may be wondering
    How I maintained my health
    Learned to use guns
    And crawl through vents obscurely?

    I owe it to the hazard course
    And the Gman's creepy ways
    I think somehow now I'll make it out
    Live to do science another day

    (Back to Verses)
    So I burned some blind tentacles
    Launched the lambda satellite
    I even fought babes in a room of crates
    Before grunts punched out my lights

    Long jump modules, gluon guns
    Now I'm ready for the end
    Just gotta play some stupid jumping games
    Before I put this thing to bed

    Oh no!
    Resonance cascade!
    Xen's hospitality
    Is less than great!
    If only I had stayed
    Home from work today!

    (Slow ballad-y chorus)
    Then the Nihilanth
    Said some creepy things!
    While I set bombs
    In his exposed brains!
    I hope the Gman's
    Job offer is not too lame!

    (Regular chorus again)
    Cause oh no!
    Resonance cascade!
    Has led me back
    To the tram again!
    Only now it is
    Flying round in space!

    And I wish I had stayed
    Home from work today!
    _______________________

    May put this to some music myself if I don't win, but I'd love to hear Remo's rendition :).

  • I woke up this mornin'
    some serious gamin' to do.
    I fired up the laptop
    and the whole screen was blue.

    Ohhhh, I got the Blue Screen Blues
    Thats right, the Blue Screen Blues

    So I checked that damn laptop
    to see what i could fix
    But everything I tried
    couldn't help this 10 pound brick

    Ohhhh, I got the Blue Screen Blues
    Thats right, the Blue Screen Blues

    Now I'll never find out
    Why the cake is a lie,
    or how to kill a strider,
    or how to cloak a spy.

    Ohhhh, I got the Blue Screen Blues
    Thats right, the Blue Screen Blues
    No day could be worse
    Blue Screen Blues
    Damn this Win98 curse
    Blue Screen Blues
    Geek Squad come save me
    Blue Screen Blues
    oh god please help me
    Blue Screen Blues

    I've got them Blue Screen Blues.






  • People say Jam Sessions sucks, but honestly that's okay
    They say it's not a game, just some crappy tool which you play.
    Guitar Hero is better, and we all know Rock Band will be too
    So forget about Jam Sessions, it's a great big piece of poo

    Video games, yeah
    Video games!

    You may be wonderin why I said that's okay if Jam Session is shitty
    Well, It's free if you win and you get a DS too, a Lite no less, how pretty
    And you can sell Jam Sessions and get a better game, something really great
    Like Castlevania or Meteos, or even that New Super Mario Bros., mate. (clever rhyme, bitches)

    Video games, yeah
    Video games
    Singin about video games.

    Why this song is short and sucky I wish I didn't know.
    Unfortunately I do, it's 'cause Jam Sessions fucking blows.

    Jam Sessions, yeah
    Jam Sessions
    Not even worth singing about.
    You're a game but you aren't. People should learn to play a real guitar instead, oh yeah...



  • Collector's Edition

    I walk though the store doors, today's the day
    It's finally out, oh yeah it's time to play
    I lay down my cash and get the recognition
    Because everyone knows.... I'm a sucker for Collector's Editions

    Yeah yeah! Sucker for Collector's Editions....

    I've been waiting for years, browsed a news site or three
    But nothing screams 'fanboy' like this extra CD
    Some action figures and collectible stamps
    Two extra guns and a pair of spare pants

    A limited run, just 90 thousand

    Concept art of guys I've blown away
    and T-Shirts that'll never fit me anyway
    It doesn't matter, cos on my desk you'll see
    A badass Big Daddy and a metal Quake 3

    [chorus]
    Oh baby, this cash is burnin' holes in my pocket
    Don't listen to those suckers who thought they won't be jealous
    I'm not overzealous
    I'm a hardcore gamer and a sucker for Collector's Editions
    A Sucker For Collector's Editions

    In Azeroth, yeah there's exploring to do
    But with these cloth maps, I'm better at it than you
    A handful of shots that I saw at E3
    A Max Payne mousepad and some figurines

    I can't get enough of those 'Making-Ofs'
    Watching guys at computers do their everyday jobs
    Guys who don't shower, and guys that don't sleep
    For weeks at a time before an alpha release

    And how about those bonus soundtracks you see
    That are 10 minutes long, Okay well maybe thirteen
    And call me nostalgic but I'll never forget
    \m/ The Unreal Tournament Collector's Headset \m/

    [chorus]
    Oh baby, this cash is burnin' holes in my pocket
    Don't listen to those suckers who thought they won't be jealous
    I'm not overzealous
    I'm a hardcore gamer and a sucker for Collector's Editions
    A Sucker For Collector's Editions

    Everybody loves Collector's Editions....
    Plastic Cat Helmet Editions....
    Bringing entertainment to millions....
    Twenty-pound Collector's Editions....
    Gotta love Collector's Editions....

    I spent far too much time on this!







  • "Hadouken"

    It all started with the original 8
    They battled it out to become the world warrior
    No one knew it would never end
    Over and over again with the Hadouken!

    Street Fighteeeeeeeer - TWO!
    The best damn game to hit the scene
    Each iteration so awesome to the EXTREME
    They're not all the same - each game has... its... theme!

    What? you can't play as the bosses?
    No No No that's not true
    Champion edition is released just for you
    Sagat, Vega, Balrog and Bison too!

    Street fighter is not fast enough
    I guess I'll just have to tough
    What does HYPER mean?
    A faster and faster fighting machine!

    Street Fighteeeeeeeer - TWO!
    The best damn game to hit the scene
    Faster and bigger is always better
    Capcom knows how to bring in the legal tender!

    4 more figthers join the crew
    Isn't this SUPER to you
    Finally some chick on chick action
    Chun Li and Cammy bring on the friction!

    Hey let's combine the two
    Everyone likes turbo and extra dudes
    Hyper - Turbo - Special - Anniversary
    So awesome in all its glory

    Street Fighteeeeeeeer - TWO!
    The best damn game to hit the scene
    Soon coming to you in HD
    Everyone will shell out their hard earned money
    It's just toooooo.... pretty.

    <fade>
    Hyper...
    Turbo...
    Champion...
    Anniversary...
    HD remix...
    <fade>

  • Wow these songs just have a life of their own.. scary.
    May I present...


    "Give me a chance"

    I can see you
    I have a portal in my pocket
    I can see you
    I have a portal in my pants

    You can see me
    Do not be afraid of my rocket
    You can see me
    In my pants I have no ants

    Why don't you come through this portal with me?
    I promise that I won't make a mess with my pee
    Why don't you come through this portal and dance?
    Please come on and take a big chance!

    I can feel you
    You are halfway through the portal
    I can feel you
    You are halfway in my pants

    You can feel me
    You can see now I'm not mortal
    You can feel me
    You can see I'm lots of plants

    Please don't leave, just give me a chance.
    These plants with antless pants can really dance
    I'm just looking for a little romance
    Why don't you give me.... a ... chaaaaaaaaaaaance?

  • can anyone top the lyrical masters of Buckner & Garcia?

    Pac-Man Fever

    I gotta pocket full of quarters, and I'm headed to the arcade.
    I don't have a lot of money but I'm bringing everything I've made.
    I've gotta callus on my finger, and my shoulder's hurtin' too.
    I'm gonna eat 'em all up, just as soon as they turn blue.

    'Cause I've got Pac-Man Fever, Pac-Man Fever.
    It's driving me crazy, driving me crazy.
    I've got Pac-Man Fever, Pac-Man Fever.
    I'm going out of my mind, going out of my mind.
    I've got Pac-Man Fever, Pac-Man Fever.
    I'm going out of my mind, going out of my mind.

    I've got all the patterns down, up until the ninth key.
    I've got Speedy on my tail, and I know it's either him or me.
    So I'm heading out the back door, and in the other side.
    Gonna eat the cherries up, and take 'em all for a ride.

    I'm gonna fake it to the left, and move to the right,
    'Cause Pokey's too slow,and Blinky's out of sight.

    Now I've got 'em on the run, and I'm looking for the high score.
    So it's once around the block, and I'll slide back out the side door.
    I'm really cookin' now, eating everything in sight.
    All my money's gone, so I'll be back tommorow night.