Contest: Win a DS Lite and Jam Sessions Through Songwriting and Remownage

Sticking with my TF2 theme for these contests, I present:

Rocket Jumping (aka Die Sniper Die)
----------------------------------------------------
I like to play the soldier,
Snipers here I come,
Dodging all your headshots,
About to ruin your fun,
Yeah I'm about to ruin your fun.

I look down at the ground,
And I fire my rocket,
Jump at the same time,
Look at how high I get,
Wow! Look at how high I get.

Rocket Jumping so high..
Way up into the sky..
Wave as I say goodbye..
As I watch all your gibs fly..
Die snipers die..
Enjoy your long respawn time..
Die snipers die..
Die snipers die..

I know you frown,
When I land on your upper deck,
Snipers try to run,
Cause they can't handle it,
No no, they can't handle it.

"Soldier on the deck!"
I hear you screaming,
They can come and get some too,
If they want a beating..
But you must be dreaming..

Rocket Jumping so high..
Way up into the sky..
Wave as I say goodbye..
As I watch all your gibs fly..
Die snipers die..
Enjoy your long respawn time..
Die snipers die..
Die snipers die..
Die snipers die...

And as a bonus, here's an rough recording displaying how it should go, without the mistakes within of course:
http://www.goincomputerconsulting.com/RocketJumping.mp3

I also have "Nerf the Pyro" and "What the heck is an Uber?" in the works.

I give you: I Suck At Multiplayer Games

--

Joined a server, and don't know why,
In TF2 I played a spy,
And I found I like to lie,
Didn't matter, I still died.

Then I played as Master Chief,
In no time flat, got chewed to beef,
Simply caused myself some grief,
Reswawn again, my lives were brief.

Then I played some CS:Source,
I tried my best to stay the course,
Round began, I came out in force,
And I was killed with no remorse.

Chorus 1:
Oh I suck at multiplayer games,
I die and die just because I simply cannot aim.
My pro career,
It lives in fear,
'Cause I always go down in flames.
I suck at multiplayer games.

I've always had a thing for Ryu,
Guess that means I like Ken too,
But I'd just get pounded into goo.
My rounds are over at "ha-do-".

Tried a stint with Calibur,
Swung my sword, tried to deter,
My rival, she began to stir,
What happened to me was murder.

So I tried to play VF,
Thought my skillz, they might be deft,
But learning this game is quite a heft,
And I got killed, so I left.

Chorus 2:
Oh I suck at multiplayer games,
My combos always cultimate in two losing rounds of shame,
My pro career,
May not appear,
'Cause I always go down in flames,
I suck at multiplayer games.

Tried to race a muscle car,
Burnout might let me go far,
Jumped a curb toward the local bar,
That crash is going to leave a scar.

So I toyed with making lines,
But I should have seen the signs,
A Tetris made me lose my spine,
Glad I could make someone shine.

I gave up, reached back to Pong,
Maybe here I could be strong,
The rounds I played, they were quite long.
But I still lost bad, I don't belong.

Chorus 3/Finale:
Oh I suck at multiplayer games,
Leaderboards are never troubled by my gamer names,
My pro career,
Is a bloody smear,
'Cause I always go down in flames.
I suck at multiplayer games.

Spoken:
Think I'll play an RPG.
Some Final Fantasy Tactics or something.
That has a multiplayer mode now?
Damnit.

forget the contest. who is the girl in the picture?

I imagine this being a sort of folk song. Perhaps other Shack BF1942 players would like to add verses.

Rosewood the Mad Bomber

Verse:
One sunny day I spotted a jeep,
Phil drove up to me and stopped with a “beep”.
He shouted "Get in!" and I said F1 F1,
We drove off to lend the Allies our guns.

As we neared a control point
I heard an ominous roar
That’s when we saw him
and we all hit the floor.

Chorus:
Oh Rosewood, oh Rosewood
Why did you bomb me?
I thought I was hidden
behind that tall palm tree.

Oh Rosewood, oh Rosewood
was it just out of spite?
Next time I’ll watch out
for those big bottles of Sprite.

Verse:
At respawn we decided to run for AA.
“Those flak guns will keep the bomber at bay!”
But before our defense could even begin,
He blew us to hell all over again.

On map after map,
he rains death from above.
Rosewood is generous
with his TNT love.

Chorus:
Oh Rosewood, oh Rosewood
Why did you bomb me?
Can there ever be an end
to your killing spree?

Oh Rosewood, oh Rosewood
won’t you leave me alone?
Or at least leave me out of
your next blast zone?

Bridge:
With Stukas and Aichi-Vals,
With B-17s and TBDs,
He haunts us all from the toilet
with his laptop in his BVDs.

But just you wait, Rosewood,
keep an eye on your flank.
You’d better hope I don’t find you
When we’re both driving tanks.

Chorus:
Oh Rosewood, oh Rosewood
Why did you bomb me?
The wreckage and the fire
make me cry out for mommy.

Oh Rosewood oh Rosewood
was it just out of spite?
Next time I’ll watch out
for those big bottles of Sprite.
Yes, next time, I’ll look for
those explosive bottles of Sprite.

Written in the perspective of Chris Faylor.

Some people have their shooters
On their consoles or their computers

Their guns are ablaze
and their rockets soaring
That’s not for me, sadly
I find it very boring

You can keep playing your Portal
And all the other games on Steam
This may sound odd
But I love me some Peggle Extreme

<Chorus>

The ball I shoot
Is very cute

And they will say
That I am a fruit

But Peggle is my game
And this I cannot refute!

</Chorus>

Killing monsters is what you may want
As for me I’m a bit more nonchalant

It has a unicorn that is my guide
As my balls and the pegs
Purposefully collide

Is it sad that my only joys in life
Are Peggle and cutting myself with a linoleum knife?

<Chorus>

The ball I shoot
Is very cute

And you will say
That I am a fruit

But Peggle is my game
And this I cannot refute!

</Chorus>

Remo said that the game Diablo
is the best
But Peggle is my favorite game
It’s really no contest

You may find this opinion queer
That doesn't hurt my feelings
I can assure you that it's sincere.

Let’s get this song done
I want to play some Peggle

I know that last part doesn't rhyme, but it was a fitting end. In my head I wrote it like it was Mr. Rogers singing it with an aucusotic guitar, with an upbeat tempo for the chorus.

Okay, well I think I'm done trying to mess with this. You could call it: Wow, skizl spent way too much time thinking about this mediocre poem/song thing. :D
------------------------------------------------------------
we ready up, color 8 2, light purple and blue
the timer starts to count down, T-minus two
who's got RA? who's got quad?
who's got the bridge and the RL room?

it's not about violence, i wish they could see,
just before the match, when "gl" fills the screen
the strategy and the teamwork in the shadows of DM3
waiting and waiting to set jack's mind free

and maybe some day
there'll be a way
to convince everyone
that it's not a waste

we'll have studies to show them
that we all get As
and moonlit basements are
not places we'll stay... some day

twenty minutes later when the demo has been recorded
the other team is whining about the frags that they afforded
"pak2!" "aimbot!" the cries will come without a doubt
but we've got other methods for conducting this rout

like rocket jumps from the pent to the bridge
and a simple hop above the mound to the quad ledge
at the RA stairway we're saving time by strafe jumping
none of these things our opponents saw coming

and maybe some day
we'll have pro leagues for games
try to stick to our roots
but it won't be the same

they'll have cameras and models
corporate sponsorships
maybe "good game" will give way
to inflated ego trips

but if i had my way
i'd be back in '97
slinging rockets and grenades
staying up for three straight days

doing nothing but play quake
but i guess we have to grow up
to new games and new names
doing nothing but play quake
doing nothing but play quake
doing nothing but play quake

Cliffhanger
---

I'm walkin' on a boat,
Got a feelin' that I've won.
Got nineteen evil bastards
Fallen thanks to my big guns.
I'm walkin' down some stairs
Lookin' for my next big kill
He comes out of the shadows
Now it looks I never will
Cause it's a

Chorus:
CLIFF-HAN-GER
The story never ends
CLIFF-HAN-GER
Buy the next game, my friends
CLIFF-HAN-GER
The story wasn't right
CLIFF-HAN-GER
It keeps me up at night

I'm flyin' through deep space,
Got a shotgun in my hand.
The Covenant armada's
In tatters by my hand.
My radio transponder
Asks "What you doin', Mel?"
I wanted to respond, er,
The credits? What the Hell?
Cause it's a

Chorus

Elexis shot me up
With an odd cocktail
And Jessica, my mate
Got shot with stuff as well.
But as I beat the chopper,
The funding dried up fast.
These kinds of endings suck.
They kick me in the ass
Cause they're a

Chorus

I saw a commercial for this game and it looked so stupid. Is the game any good?

Here's my gem :)

Best sung to Radiohead's Creep song :) I don't know why I love that song so much, it has been a favorite for years, maybe i'm just a weirdo ;)

video/audio of original so you can sing along if you'd ike.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxpblnsJEWM


==================================
"Trailers and Gold" (gold as in 'game's ready for retail')

When I first viewed the trailers
Couldn't stand to look away
It was digital perfection
Gave me goosebumps all night
You tease like a diamond
In a world of EA
I wish you were gold
You're so fucking special

But no not yet
You say delayed
Why can't I click away from you?
You don't deserve me

Don't care if you're buggy
I want to have your discs
I want a quick install
I want a quick fix
I want you to be there, when I get home from work
You're so fucking special
I wish you were gold

But no not yet
You say delayed
Why can't I click away from you?
You don't deserve me

It's happening again
It's happening
I want want want WANT
WANT
I'll try to control myself
And not view you again
You're so fucking special
I wish you were gold

But no not yet
You say delayed
Why can't I click away from you?
You don't deserve me
You don't deserve me
=========================

don't be shy now, you know you love it :)

COULD we record it?

If you have the instrumental already and can post it, that might help tremendously. No biggee though but if you got it that'd be great!

"Gordon's Crowbar Blues"

It all started with a tram ride
In a government facility
With desert winds, and rocket engines
And M.I.T. credibility

There was Barney and there was Walter
And a suit all orange and black
Cause we all wish theoretical physics
Was cooler than lots of math

But oh no!
Resonance cascade!
Lodge that crowbar
In some headcrab's face!
If only I had stayed
Home from work today!

Suddenly there were lasers
And aliens running everywhere
With too many limbs blowing up into gibs
I need to change my underwear

And as if that weren't enough
The government sent lots of grunts
They set up turrets and shot their bullets
At everyone, including us!

Oh no!
Resonance cascade!
Now even marines
Wanna shoot my face!
If only I had stayed
Home from work today!

(Bridge)
And through all the death
All the destruction
You may be wondering
How I maintained my health
Learned to use guns
And crawl through vents obscurely?

I owe it to the hazard course
And the Gman's creepy ways
I think somehow now I'll make it out
Live to do science another day

(Back to Verses)
So I burned some blind tentacles
Launched the lambda satellite
I even fought babes in a room of crates
Before grunts punched out my lights

Long jump modules, gluon guns
Now I'm ready for the end
Just gotta play some stupid jumping games
Before I put this thing to bed

Oh no!
Resonance cascade!
Xen's hospitality
Is less than great!
If only I had stayed
Home from work today!

(Slow ballad-y chorus)
Then the Nihilanth
Said some creepy things!
While I set bombs
In his exposed brains!
I hope the Gman's
Job offer is not too lame!

(Regular chorus again)
Cause oh no!
Resonance cascade!
Has led me back
To the tram again!
Only now it is
Flying round in space!

And I wish I had stayed
Home from work today!
_______________________

May put this to some music myself if I don't win, but I'd love to hear Remo's rendition :).

I woke up this mornin'
some serious gamin' to do.
I fired up the laptop
and the whole screen was blue.

Ohhhh, I got the Blue Screen Blues
Thats right, the Blue Screen Blues

So I checked that damn laptop
to see what i could fix
But everything I tried
couldn't help this 10 pound brick

Ohhhh, I got the Blue Screen Blues
Thats right, the Blue Screen Blues

Now I'll never find out
Why the cake is a lie,
or how to kill a strider,
or how to cloak a spy.

Ohhhh, I got the Blue Screen Blues
Thats right, the Blue Screen Blues
No day could be worse
Blue Screen Blues
Damn this Win98 curse
Blue Screen Blues
Geek Squad come save me
Blue Screen Blues
oh god please help me
Blue Screen Blues

I've got them Blue Screen Blues.

Alright, Romsteady. Let's see what you got.

If anyone needs some serious inspiration, I suggest Crispin Glover - Clowny Clown Clown
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbCiac03ycQ He's a lyrical genius *cough

Can one of you guys check the review section and hit "write a review"? When I do it it simply bumps me back to the top of the page. Not sure if its an issue with my browser or if reviews are disabled.

People say Jam Sessions sucks, but honestly that's okay
They say it's not a game, just some crappy tool which you play.
Guitar Hero is better, and we all know Rock Band will be too
So forget about Jam Sessions, it's a great big piece of poo

Video games, yeah
Video games!

You may be wonderin why I said that's okay if Jam Session is shitty
Well, It's free if you win and you get a DS too, a Lite no less, how pretty
And you can sell Jam Sessions and get a better game, something really great
Like Castlevania or Meteos, or even that New Super Mario Bros., mate. (clever rhyme, bitches)

Video games, yeah
Video games
Singin about video games.

Why this song is short and sucky I wish I didn't know.
Unfortunately I do, it's 'cause Jam Sessions fucking blows.

Jam Sessions, yeah
Jam Sessions
Not even worth singing about.
You're a game but you aren't. People should learn to play a real guitar instead, oh yeah...

Collector's Edition

I walk though the store doors, today's the day
It's finally out, oh yeah it's time to play
I lay down my cash and get the recognition
Because everyone knows.... I'm a sucker for Collector's Editions

Yeah yeah! Sucker for Collector's Editions....

I've been waiting for years, browsed a news site or three
But nothing screams 'fanboy' like this extra CD
Some action figures and collectible stamps
Two extra guns and a pair of spare pants

A limited run, just 90 thousand

Concept art of guys I've blown away
and T-Shirts that'll never fit me anyway
It doesn't matter, cos on my desk you'll see
A badass Big Daddy and a metal Quake 3

[chorus]
Oh baby, this cash is burnin' holes in my pocket
Don't listen to those suckers who thought they won't be jealous
I'm not overzealous
I'm a hardcore gamer and a sucker for Collector's Editions
A Sucker For Collector's Editions

In Azeroth, yeah there's exploring to do
But with these cloth maps, I'm better at it than you
A handful of shots that I saw at E3
A Max Payne mousepad and some figurines

I can't get enough of those 'Making-Ofs'
Watching guys at computers do their everyday jobs
Guys who don't shower, and guys that don't sleep
For weeks at a time before an alpha release

And how about those bonus soundtracks you see
That are 10 minutes long, Okay well maybe thirteen
And call me nostalgic but I'll never forget
\m/ The Unreal Tournament Collector's Headset \m/

[chorus]
Oh baby, this cash is burnin' holes in my pocket
Don't listen to those suckers who thought they won't be jealous
I'm not overzealous
I'm a hardcore gamer and a sucker for Collector's Editions
A Sucker For Collector's Editions

Everybody loves Collector's Editions....
Plastic Cat Helmet Editions....
Bringing entertainment to millions....
Twenty-pound Collector's Editions....
Gotta love Collector's Editions....

I spent far too much time on this!

What is Chris Remo's music background, out of curiosity?

i saw three rings, that's too many to be portals.
i bought it for launch, i thought it could be immortal.

look at it now, i can't even stream a movie.
what will i do, when i want to see a boobie.

how can it be, now that she's finally gone.
now it can't use it, the thing won't turn on.

if i can't jerk off, to 1080p
then just like the neanderthal i'll be,

sexbox 360, what are you doing to me?

top of the line stereo, 7.1 sound.
i could finally turn it up, no one is around.

but the tv is cold and i know it stares back.
lotion and tissues, i just wanted to wack.

i turn to the web pages, i look at the shack.
its covered in red, i can never go back.

what's this post called, oh what could it be?
oh no, phil just posted jessicasslumberparty

sexbox360, thank you for saving me

Viva Incesta
(this went so very very wrong)


I'd like to thank you mother
Oh and please thank your brother
or should I call him daddy?
I'm blessed with this family

You've always shown me the right way
Loving your sister is not gay
But oh you know thats just the start
I think I'm set for the best part

Oh oh you know its true
Mom I want to screw you
before my days are through

Hot damn you know its true
Mom I want to screw you
before my days are through

Still thinking about this romance dance
Anticipating being in mom's pants
Keep jumping up and over your tail
In this garden there's no threat of jail

I first must navigate this path
avoid the evil loather's blast
Screw the coins, I'm gunna get more cash
By the fruits of my loins tapping your ass

Oh oh you know its true
Mom I want to screw you
before my days are through

Ohhh Mom... I want to screw.... YOUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

so you don't want actual music, just lyrics?

DS Shining On
- In reply

Should they be original songs, or can they be parodies like the one RomSteady posted?

"Hadouken"

It all started with the original 8
They battled it out to become the world warrior
No one knew it would never end
Over and over again with the Hadouken!

Street Fighteeeeeeeer - TWO!
The best damn game to hit the scene
Each iteration so awesome to the EXTREME
They're not all the same - each game has... its... theme!

What? you can't play as the bosses?
No No No that's not true
Champion edition is released just for you
Sagat, Vega, Balrog and Bison too!

Street fighter is not fast enough
I guess I'll just have to tough
What does HYPER mean?
A faster and faster fighting machine!

Street Fighteeeeeeeer - TWO!
The best damn game to hit the scene
Faster and bigger is always better
Capcom knows how to bring in the legal tender!

4 more figthers join the crew
Isn't this SUPER to you
Finally some chick on chick action
Chun Li and Cammy bring on the friction!

Hey let's combine the two
Everyone likes turbo and extra dudes
Hyper - Turbo - Special - Anniversary
So awesome in all its glory

Street Fighteeeeeeeer - TWO!
The best damn game to hit the scene
Soon coming to you in HD
Everyone will shell out their hard earned money
It's just toooooo.... pretty.

<fade>
Hyper...
Turbo...
Champion...
Anniversary...
HD remix...
<fade>

Wow these songs just have a life of their own.. scary.
May I present...


"Give me a chance"

I can see you
I have a portal in my pocket
I can see you
I have a portal in my pants

You can see me
Do not be afraid of my rocket
You can see me
In my pants I have no ants

Why don't you come through this portal with me?
I promise that I won't make a mess with my pee
Why don't you come through this portal and dance?
Please come on and take a big chance!

I can feel you
You are halfway through the portal
I can feel you
You are halfway in my pants

You can feel me
You can see now I'm not mortal
You can feel me
You can see I'm lots of plants

Please don't leave, just give me a chance.
These plants with antless pants can really dance
I'm just looking for a little romance
Why don't you give me.... a ... chaaaaaaaaaaaance?

can anyone top the lyrical masters of Buckner & Garcia?

Pac-Man Fever

I gotta pocket full of quarters, and I'm headed to the arcade.
I don't have a lot of money but I'm bringing everything I've made.
I've gotta callus on my finger, and my shoulder's hurtin' too.
I'm gonna eat 'em all up, just as soon as they turn blue.

'Cause I've got Pac-Man Fever, Pac-Man Fever.
It's driving me crazy, driving me crazy.
I've got Pac-Man Fever, Pac-Man Fever.
I'm going out of my mind, going out of my mind.
I've got Pac-Man Fever, Pac-Man Fever.
I'm going out of my mind, going out of my mind.

I've got all the patterns down, up until the ninth key.
I've got Speedy on my tail, and I know it's either him or me.
So I'm heading out the back door, and in the other side.
Gonna eat the cherries up, and take 'em all for a ride.

I'm gonna fake it to the left, and move to the right,
'Cause Pokey's too slow,and Blinky's out of sight.

Now I've got 'em on the run, and I'm looking for the high score.
So it's once around the block, and I'll slide back out the side door.
I'm really cookin' now, eating everything in sight.
All my money's gone, so I'll be back tommorow night.

super badass terrorist killer (in reply)

Just give it to RomSteady already.

Are you looking for written lyrics or an mp3 recording here?