Evening Reading

by Steve Gibson, Mar 28, 2007 6:00pm PDT

Related Topics – Wack News

Well C&C3 showed up at my door today. Hopefully I'll get some time to play around this weekend with it. The demo didnt really feel like anything particularly new but I think I'm most looking forward to the live actors and their hokey lines. I want you guys to seriously consider these tonight:

- We're all a bunch of morons - Wacky hexagon - McCain digs lesbians - MS buying Doubleclick? - How is Vista really selling?

Lastly, Dinosaurs died from too much coke/whores

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See All Comments | 198 Threads | 2,887 Comments

#1819

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By: haiku x Show Full Post

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Recently I was having a conversation with someone about how the Spiderman movies would all be pretty good if Kirsten Dunst didn't just blatantly ruin every single scene she is in.

This lead to trying to figure out which known/famous actress should be playing that part instead. We arrived at only two good solutions:

1. Famke Jansen
2. Claire Danes

There has to be a better choice though, some total shoe-in that just didn't come to mind. Who did we miss?

Mar 28, 2007 10:39pm PDT

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Recently I was having a conversation with someone about how the Spiderman movies would all be pretty good... : haiku
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- Renee Zellweger : romulan
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  Katie Holmes. : AlexXdude
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    Don't overlook Katie Holmes just because of her role in Batman Begins. She is a very talented actress. : AlexXdude
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      You only need to ruin one super hero movie to be banned from the whole genre. : haiku
      
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      I was actually kidding, she's terrible. I just didn't have anyone valid to contribute since you mentioned... : AlexXdude
      
      thank god, you scared me. Can't stand Katie Holmes, especially post Tom Cruise Katie Holmes : Bantis
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  famke is about 90 years old, she would be good as peter's aunt though : JINKY
  - She can be made to look really young. : haiku
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  Jennifer Love Hewitt : Mikuya
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    I've never seen her in anything that wasn't a kids show. I mean someone who can actually play the part an... : haiku
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      Bryce Dallas Howard perhaps. : action wombmate
      
      meant for OP, dammit : action wombmate
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  dunst has little rat teeth :B : jessipoo
  - ololol : AlexXdude
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    SNAGGLETOOTH : mallrice
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      wwtdd won my heart with the over the top dunst hate : jessipoo
      
      hahah same here. that's the first thing i thought of when i read his post. those rants are so hilarious... : Phil
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    Everyone has to be perfect! can't have imperfections - need our porn airbrushed we do. Bah, what's... : abrasion
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      wow isn't this the hottest thing you've ever seen - http://www.wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=2007 she has a ... : mallrice
      
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      Kirsten Dunst is exactly what an alien would be like if an alien came to earth and tried to blend in. Th : Old_Fart
      
      that's not even warm for him. i swear when that guy finds his groove he is fucking genius. : mallrice
      
      been watching a lot of V lately? : flagg209
    - every time i read one of your posts, i hear a very uptight english lady screaming "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT U... : jessipoo
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  jennifer love hewitt. that role needs MORE TITS. : mallrice
  - I totally agree. Those tits especially. : thewriter
- Famke? Maybe if they were doing Peter Parker: The Middle Years. : Edges
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  the crazy redhead from wedding crashers....soo hot and she's in a new movie : grabbie
  - ^^good one : romulan
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    I had to look her up, this is Ali Gs girlfriend I think? You're right, she would be really good for the p... : haiku
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      ok yeah this is probably the best candidate. Thread Over! Thanks edges : haiku
      
      Hey, at least give Grabbie credit ;) : Magus
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    This is definitely the best answer. Isla Fisher is one hot redhead. : zuga
    - Isla Fisher is pretty, but she just doesn't seem to fit into a Mary-Jane Watson. : Rice-Rocketeer
- elisha cuthbert : fsck
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  Tobey Maguire sucks too. The only good actor in the whole series is Bruce Campbell. Thread over. : PenicillinX57
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    that scene in spiderman 2 where spiderman is on the front of the train, i thought, man he is really ugly : JINKY
    - Well i don't think peter parker is supposed to be a stud, and Spiderman has a mask on most of the time. : romulan
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  scarlett johannson? : FrayLo
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    No, and lost in translation was a crappy film. : haiku
    - YES! It really was. : AlexXdude
    - I LOVE YOU! : Bean
    - 100% agreed. Shitty shitty movie. : romulan
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      She might not suit the role but you can admit she's hot :( : abrasion
      
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      No, I don't really think she is. She's pretty, I mean she is an A-List hollywood actress so of course she... : haiku
      
      Going to [lol] this post for incredible justice. : AlexXdude
      
      Alba isn't that hot. : ThereCanBeOnlyOneCat
      
      I like that what I hear about SJ is she's not 'normal' she's a bit like Jolie - wild, nuts, fun and a lit... : abrasion
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      she was really hot in that and that made the whole thing worth it alright : JINKY
      
      #1910
      
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      By: haiku x Show Full Post
      
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      The only thing she did for that film was act as Sophia Copolla's canned tomato sauce on her pasta of mediocrity. I really wish Kevin Shields wasn't involved in that movie.
      
      Mar 28, 2007 10:58pm PDT
      
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      The only thing she did for that film was act as Sophia Copolla's canned tomato sauce on her pasta of medi... : haiku
      
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      Kevin Shields turns it into a good movie though! That's a great soundtrack right there, plus Bill Murray... : forgottenzero
      
      Well I am sorry it took something so lame and mediocre to make you realize the dude behind MBV is a geniu... : haiku
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      look how wrong everyone is. it was a beautiful film. : jcutner
      
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      ^^ Just proves it was a terrible movie. : AlexXdude
      
      haha exactly : Bantis
      
      Yes. Beautiful film. Boring movie. : PenicillinX57
      
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      you should stick with being wrong. it suits you better : mallrice
      
      Where is he right? He's still wrong. : AlexXdude
    - wtf : wtf242
    - you rock sir : Bantis
    - Finally! I hate Sofia Coppola and everything she's involved in. : Mad Brahmin Disease
    - It's confirmed. You have taste in art, but it ends there. : Fred Garvin
  - she was so hot in the island, being a virgin and all with those big red pouty lip glossed lips. : mindshot
- http://www.wallpaperbase.com/wallpapers/celebs/menasuvari/mena_suvari_10.jpg : Phil
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  Our Mrs. Reynolds from firefly. : Prozium
  - OH HELL YES! That would be all kinds of awesome. : Megara9
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    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0376716/ good call : Toraz Chryx
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      she's so awesome. I dressed as Mrs. Reynolds for the Serenity premiere \m/ nerd \m/ : Megara9
      
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      PICS+DIVX+REENACTMENT OF THE SCENE IN MALS CABIN : Toraz Chryx
      
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      I would do terrible naughty things to Wash. : Megara9
      
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      You go right ahead, I'll get on with doing terrible naughty things to River. gotta love a girl who can : Toraz Chryx
      
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      and I'll be in my bunk. : AlexXdude
      
      XD : Megara9
      
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      also... she can kill you with her brain : AbortedFetusChristi
      
      She's already giving me localised high blood pressure! : Toraz Chryx
      
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      Why? Aren't you...you know..fat? : Farfie
      
      wha??? : Toraz Chryx
  - Unnnnffff....so beautiful. : Rice-Rocketeer
  - She is stunning. Winner right here. : thewriter
  - Good call. Bryce Dallas Howard or Elizabeth Banks might also work. : action wombmate
  - If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level the : Toraz Chryx
- I thought she was hot at one point in time but WWTDD has ruined it for me... : rosewood
- Dakota Fanning : wtf242
- I agree. She's just terrible terrible terrible. All the acting in the Spiderman movies makes me want to w... : Megara9
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  what about rachel mcadams : FrayLo
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    Part of my problem with this is I have a really bad vocabulary of hollywood actresses to pull from. I am ... : haiku
    - http://freenet-homepage.de/celebxl2/Rachel_Mcadams/32.jpg http://img45.imagevenue.com/aAfkjfp01fo1i-2808... : Phil
  - yeah, you're wise. : vigilante
  - most of these choices are horrible, but yes. rachel mcadams or perhaps rachel bilson : JINKY
  - She was so freaking beautiful in Redeye. : spazzium
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  Keira Knightley...didnt read through the rest of the thread, but if no one else said this aleady...EOT. : Saman
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    Oh yeah, no one drives home pretty american girl-next-door like the chick from Pirates of the Caribbean.... : haiku
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      I hope this is sarcasm, she's the girl next door if the girl next door NEVER EATS ANY FOOD AND HAS TO HAV... : abrasion
      
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      No I'm not being sarcastic. Abrasion stop huffing paint : haiku
      
      ^sarcasm^ : JINKY
      
      haiku vanity post i will fight you! : abrasion
      
      You're confusing sometimes. : ieGod
  - oh god she can't act worth crap either : Megara9
  - she's too tall : action roommate
  - She'd fall straight through Spidey's webs. : hiloopy
  - no fucking way. she's gross. : virus
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  sarah michelle gellar. lol? : feek
  - yeah, lol. : haiku
- Lindsey Lohan if she weren't a crack whore : justsayno
- Elle McFeast : snoozy
- I hope the Spiderman series is quickly buried and forgotten. As much as I want to enjoy them, the last t... : PenicillinX57
- james dean : deep gray
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  Julia Roberts : dodob
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    I will stab you. Yes I will. : Megara9
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      maybe he's just looking for [lol]'s! : nyranger66
      
      I would do anything for [lol]'s, but I won't do that! : AlexXdude
- newsflash: it's not Kirsten Dunt's fault. Every love scene in every Spiderman movie is retarded. See also... : stuka
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  You're supposed to say Keri Russell you stupid shit! http://www.imdb.com/gallery/granitz/5252/Events/525 : Ajax
  - holy shit. i was totally in love with her in high school : FrayLo
  - Oh, man...she's super cute! :) SO MANY GOOD MARY-JANE WATSONs. : Rice-Rocketeer
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  You missed being a huge dork and remembering it's a movie about a comic book. : Vangoghs Ear
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    or... and this is just a hypothesis... we DID remember that and we still feel the urge to talk about it. ... : Megara9
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      Mary Jane is an extremely 2-D character at her best. : Vangoghs Ear
      
      I totally agree : Megara9
      
      I like the Ultimate Spiderman Mary-Jane a lot more. : Rice-Rocketeer
- you're right. dunst is fucking terrible. she's ugly, messed up teeth, and just a downright horrible act... : virus
- Alyson Hannigan. I'm sure I'll get shot down on this but my rationale: I'm not a spider man expert by any... : strider_
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  That crazy little redhead from Wedding Crashers. : Rauol Duke
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    gah .. no way - she's annoying. : virus
    - YOU SHUT YOUR FILTHY WHORISH MOUTH : cam3lt0sis
  - Isla Fisher, the aussie chick - she was kind of hot in that movie. : abrasion
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    Oh fuck yes. She's so creepy awesome in that movie. : TheMonkeyWench
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      Creepy? She was hot as fuck and that crazy just amped it up. : Rauol Duke
      
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      Creepy girls=hot in my book. I loved it when she said "Cuz I'll find you! *evil laugh*" Why can't I have ... : TheMonkeyWench
      
      If 2 redheads get together they just kind of blend together into one giant penis like something out of ak... : abrasion
      
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      A guy like me might could hook that up for ya's. : Rauol Duke
      
      Please do. I'll pay in rape dollars. : TheMonkeyWench
      
      toggle
      I've had a hot redheaded stalker before. It's not all it's cracked up to be. : ColoradoCNC
      
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      This Vietnamese girl stalked me in highschool. She was pretty cute, 'cept fuckin' hardcore Christian. ... : Rice-Rocketeer
      
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      I love the cute hardcore Christian girls. They usually turn out to be incredibly kinky once you finally g... : ColoradoCNC
      
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      NIGGAH DAMN. Turns out she got pretty hot in the last couple of years. Still hardcore Christian, thoug : Rice-Rocketeer
      
      The last part of your post makes me sad` : ColoradoCNC
      
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      http://img141.imageshack.us/my.php?image=dohvu1.jpg : Rice-Rocketeer
      
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      I'd like to fill her with the holy spirit. : ColoradoCNC
      
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      Like I said! Asides, she's Catholic. Those are the good ones, right? : Rice-Rocketeer
      
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      Except for the ritualized cannibalism; yes. : ColoradoCNC
      
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      Damn. Guess that rules that one out. Plus I think she may have left my highschool partially 'cause I s : Rice-Rocketeer
      
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      FUCK. SALT. IN. WOUND. She's in Medicine. Goddamn. Could have had a sugar momma!!! GOD, I SUCK. : Rice-Rocketeer
      
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      Albeit a sugar momma who would know several chemically undetectable ways to poison you if you ever pushed... : ColoradoCNC
      
      Good call! Thanks for putting things in perspective. :) LOLLERBOOHOOHOOHOO. :'( : Rice-Rocketeer
      
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      neither of you are telling the truth so just stop it. : jessipoo
      
      You're right. No girl would ever look my way. :( : Rice-Rocketeer
      
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      What was the point of this post? : ColoradoCNC
      
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      hey it made me laugh, Sandy : jessipoo
      
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      That's Mr. Sandy Vagina to you, missy! Don't mind me...I'm running on a total of about 8 hours of sle... : ColoradoCNC
      
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      do you live there then? http://fukung.net/v/4192/Vagina%20-%20House%20of%20Sandy%20Vaginas.jpg : AbortedFetusChristi
      
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      Yep, right between Ghandi and the Ass-2-Ass girl. : ColoradoCNC
      
      that is awesome. no wonder you don't get to sleep much : AbortedFetusChristi
  - she has the most perfect profile ever just like they draw them in comic books, unfortunately i think she'... : fletch_
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  Ben Stiller : naabster
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    jesus this made me lol hard : thewriter
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      wtf i was the first one to substitute a male actor for a female role why wasnt mine funny just because st... : deep gray
      
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      no, someone else said james dean. which...works. : not work safe
      
      oh lol that someone WAS YOU! : not work safe
      
      a) didnt see it b) funnier mental image for sure : thewriter
      
      LOL. Ben Stiller is just SO much more entertaining. : Rice-Rocketeer
  - they shoulda made peter gay and merged harry and mj characters into one. the guy who plays harry looks... : dodob
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  Claire Forlani (the girl from Mallrats) would be a good choice I think. : peanut-
  - Ever so hot, but too old? : davantalus
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  Famke is like 40? , would seem a bit odd. : imperator
  - i'd spider-fuck the shit out of her : dodob
- why not both? he's fucking spiderman. he could hook up with two chicks no problem. : esmokah
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  Famke is 3 inches taller than Tobey Maguire : spiderfill
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    Thats another roll that needs to be recast after the third movie. Honestly its time for a new group to ca... : baron calamity
    - Sam Raimi already said in an interview that he would be interested in a fourth only if Tobey is back.. If... : laidback
  - An excellent use of research skills. : MaJeStu
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  Famke is hot but way too old to play MJ :( : mikecyb
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    okay someone pointed that out already. also jesus christ this thread is huge now that I have expanded th... : mikecyb
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      Everyone has fantasies about being Peter Parker and doing MJ. (note: none of us actually want to be T : Jonathan
      
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      but I am Peter Parker >:( according to genjuro http://www.shacknews.com/jazz/search2.x?query=parentau : mikecyb
      
      I know this, I was just trying to help maintain your new secret identity after CW... duh. : Jonathan
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  Compared to Peter Parker, Famke Jansen is practically a cougar. She does look like Mary Jane though. : tomservo
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    She'd make a great Black Cat. Just like Kevin Smith said, Mary Jan showed Peter how to love, Felicia Har... : RyDogg1
    - She'd also make a great Anna Navarre. : tomservo
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  Katharine Isabelle : dognose
  - Sometimes you're a 1-track record sir, but sometimes that one track is the right one. : geedeck
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  maggie gyllenhoweverthefuck : Omning
  - And her brother Jake can play spiderman... also she's super hot and naked in this movie here: http://www... : voodooraze
- Dany Verissimo :D : owly
- rip torn also shoo-in : stgulik

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