First Post!

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• Until you anger them. Then they transform into evil little gnomes with 2000db voices. : Wyvern
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  ........hand in your man card : harkov
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    grow up : Ebu
    • NEVERS! omg i need a disclamer for sarcasm : harkov
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  Did you adopt? What am I missing here? : ieGod
  • I have a feeling we're about to be introduced to the latest g0nkquest... : Chunks
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    haha, nah, new girlie.. been dating for about a week or so now.. (why i cancelled WoW) she has a 2.5 yea... : g0nk
    • Has the 2 year old seen your armor yet? : PoopStewart
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      hmm, that's suspect. In my opinion a woman who lets you fraternize with the child when she only knows yo... : redfive
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        He's just that good in bed. Plus he wears the helmet. : Fyunch Click
        • it hides the glowing red eyes : Megara9
      • Or is desperate for a daddy for that kid. : johnny skidmarks
    • You've only been dating a week, and you're reading her good night stories and then leaving the house/dayc... : kevp
    • Danger, Will Robinson... : SatansLilHelper
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      well, i've known her for a couple years.. just started dating in the last week, so, we're pretty comfy wi... : g0nk
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        Now the big question: Does she work with you? : FormerHPB
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          I'm gonna use my 5th amendment rights.... : g0nk
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            Holy Christ Chuck. you just don't learn.... : Fyunch Click
            • shit just happens!! hehe im gettin my resume together though.. im gonna be looking for another job very s... : g0nk
          • Amazing! : FormerHPB
    • hahaha!! "I wanna play with Chuckie!" this sounds i dunno.. totally cute. yeah.. i know what you mean. he... : lonestar3
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  wait till they get to be about 5 and can start gaming. that's where the real corruption fun starts. :) : jlavrenz
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    My nephew is 5 and is an x-box fiend. He loves to play The Hobbit, but likes Mechassault as well. I'm... : asylumn
    • my son (6 in August) is getting pretty good at Mario Kart. Other than that he likes Smash Brothers and s... : jlavrenz
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      Go get him his goddamn chocolate milk, already! : TenaciousPimple
      • ...this is bullshit... That was funny stuff. : snuff
• I <3 my 6 year old and 1 1/2 year old nieces :D : moe6
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  My 1 year old daughter spent all day Wednesday saying nothing but "derka derka derka" I think maybe w... : Vincent Grayson
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    you didn't honestly let a 1 yr old watch Team America did you? : jlavrenz
    • derka derka jihad! : Degenerate
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      Uh, yeah. She loves that movie. All the songs make her giggle with delight. : Vincent Grayson
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        guess it just suprised me given the R rating and the tons of violence, language, sex, etc. Yeah, I l... : jlavrenz
        • he's gonna be at the grocery store with her one day and she's gonna start singing in the middle of check ... : g0nk
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          Well, once I know she's at the age that she might start understanding the ideas and repeating all the wor... : Vincent Grayson
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            Kids are like sponges they soak up everything around them from birth. Just cuz she can't talk doesn't me... : jlavrenz
            • Oh yeah, I've read all the nonsense :) Seeing as I managed just fine, and my daughter doesn't spend h... : Vincent Grayson
• one two three four six chicken : davislovestacobell
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  kids are by far the most amazing thing that could ever happen to a person. But with that said, not every... : jedi_27
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    I'm going to adopt a dozen 18 year old hotties : Degenerate
    • But pimping isn't adoption. : carnivore
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      they won't let you adopt little boys from China degen : jedi_27
      • pfhht. China will let anybody adopt as long as you take them out of China : Degenerate
• http://www.shacknews.com/ja.zz?id=10374511 : gegtik
• Try having two two-year-olds. They're not so bad, expecially when they're trying to pronounce names or r... : felicia
• They don't make for good eat'un until about 9 or 10. : abrasion
• I've seen them at their worst. They can make you very very angry! And then later very happy and peacefu... : EvilDolemite
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  iawtp: http://mcbain.smugmug.com/photos/24905529-O.jpg : huds0n
  • AWWWWWWWWWW!!!! : mystifier
  • hahaha awwwwww! : g0nk
  • BANNED! She is too young to participate in the wet t-shirt contest. : iamgoat
  • That's adorable :) : electroly
  • thats one cute kid! : jedi_27
  • hehe she looks like a gelfling : riptyde
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  They're pretty cute at one, too: http://filtersweep.shackspace.com/thebean.jpg : filtersweep
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    awwwww!!!!!! hey! I got that same blanket!! : g0nk
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      this is what they look like when they get to 3 and like to pick their nose. http://members.dsl-only.ne... : sigpro
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        lol!!! : g0nk
        • yeah today will be a fun night. I will get to see both my daughters for the 1st time in 3 weeks. My 3 y... : sigpro
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    i see he got his looks from his mother. : genjuro
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      It's true. :( : filtersweep
      • thats a good thing dude :) : jedi_27
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    http://cima.ng-london.org.uk/~john/theo/theo-Images/53.jpg terrifying! : jcupitt
    • that's no moon : pupismyname
  • Hippy in training! ;) : Vic Viper
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    someone needs to photoshop some nice, long dreads on that kid! : FormerHPB
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      For some reason, his mom is opposed to all crazy hair styles. :( : filtersweep
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        thank god. My 5 year old was in T-ball this year. One kid had a mohawk. O_O I couldn't believe parent... : FormerHPB
        • It seems to be a trend. I've seen tons of mohawks on kids this summer. : filtersweep
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  My niece is cuter now at 4 than she's ever been. I think it's the questions and statements, now that she ... : carrioN luggagE
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    Testing the pink tag. : carrioN luggagE
    • me too! blue : SlamDunk
• No fair I can't own this thread with pics of my son because I'm at work. :( : Deathlove

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• see yas on tuesday! : cpt_gloval
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  Would it be a good or bad idea for a guy that started last night to fly to do this so soon? : gndagger
  • good, as long as you stick to hi-sec space. : cpt_gloval
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    it would be a very good idea because you'll be with people that have experience and can explain things to... : ^-SeaWolf-^
    • well then, I'm on my way... : gndagger
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  hm I dl'd the installer last night, how do i get a key? : ant321
  • send me a shackmsg with your email, i'll send you an invite key : ^-SeaWolf-^
• I can handle some of the invites, as I'll inevitably be making a shitload of posts about it here. I've be... : Rampancy
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  YIKES! Temptation to jump onto EVE Online grows.... KHHHAAAANNNNNNN!!! : Sylvanus
  • I'm with you there, I unsubbed a few months ago : protmind
• fucking sweet! I'm all over this, see you later on this evening. : BongSlayerB
• Cool, I'll be on later today/tonight. : mikage
• Screens from some of last night's exploits are in http://shack.igneferroque.org/eve/ Are we going to n... : Rampancy
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  eve-online down. attempted to work offline, couldn't grab the torrent file. : Ratalon
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    site works for me... : mikage
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      I am still 404'ing it. Resolve an IP for me? I found eve_3538.exe on some Russian Site or something. Is... : Ratalon
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        http://213.167.138.92/ ? : mikage
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          I guess they hate just me. I'll just go with this executable I found off the site. 20 minutes left! : Ratalon
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            Now to wait for Seawolf to read his Shackmessages! : Ratalon
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              attention getting text, good man :P sent you a shackmsg and a trial key to your gmail if you can't get... : ^-SeaWolf-^
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                Yeah but I honestly cannot remember if I got bored of the game or not. : Ratalon
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                  use the trial and if you like then get your old dewd back active : ^-SeaWolf-^
                  • Fuck now that i know picking a race is important (my other account is a minmatar, or an amar) I got to ch... : Ratalon
              • Paging SeaWolf. Check your PMs. :) Any more trial codes available? : Sapiens
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  Damn the shack hype machine! I'm now seriously thinking of trying this game out. Are trial invites limite... : theWhite
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    Negative. Send me or Seawolf your email address and we'll shoot you an invite. : Rampancy
    • done and thanks : theWhite
• oh fuck, I hate you guys. I finally shook WoW and now this shows up. KEEP FIRING ASSHOLES : Kaiser
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  IS there a trail thingy going on or something? I wanna try this game. How do i hook up? : whippy
  • trail thingie? you can DL the client here: http://www.eve-online.com/download/ : BongSlayerB
• installing now. : aethyr
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  OMG you fucking racist. It won't let me apply to join the corp because you're a racist CEO and can't acce... : gndagger
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    oh yeah... forgot to mention that... i have to train up social to 3 and then i can train ethnic relat... : ^-SeaWolf-^
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      I'm trained up to Ethnic Relations 2, could that help? : Rampancy
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        when you get on i'll make you CEO :P : ^-SeaWolf-^
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          stock prices... a) plummet b) skyrocket : Nighthavvk
          • I choose b. No wait, A. : Rampancy
  • Damn Amarrans. THEY WILL PAY! : twostar
• Oh now I am tempted to sign up for EVE again. I know my cousins still play. : ghost hacker
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  ok, I just installed it and created an account. It's downloading a patch now... What do I have to do ... : aethyr
  • if you wanna join right away and wait for my racist self to be edumacated in the ways of ethnic relations... : ^-SeaWolf-^
• Tired of that sleepy music? Want to make your own playlist in game? Get this and you can: http://www.ev... : mikage
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  A story of an EVE scam. f'n AMAZING http://static.circa1984.com/the-big-scam.html : Kaiser
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    if you haven't already read it, read it now! this is what got most of us excited to try out eve : ^-SeaWolf-^
    • this story makes me think the game is shitty pirates everywhere ganking people? sounds like nothing b... : Nighteyes
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    a good story.. fake, but good. : lakren
    • well yeah it's a game, of course it's fake! : cpt_gloval
    • and how do you know its fake ? : jedi_27
  • This story rocks : lord_omega
• looks like I won't be joining for a bit, unfortunately. can't play eve and wow concurrently :( : Nighthavvk
• I've always thought about playing Eve... I beta tested it for a bit. Felt like I got nowhere fast. I lost... : Draco
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  for SeaWolf, I would play EVE : uncle slappy
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    It is why I am giving it a go! : Ratalon
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      when the hell did i become popular like that o_O : ^-SeaWolf-^
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        It's the "^-" "-^" thingy you got going on. Makes you look taller. : Kaiser
        • Either that or he's... the... BATMAN. or would it be... WOLFMAN. or.. SEABAT? : laidback
      • It's because of the ELITE SQUAD : uncle slappy
• I tried to join, but some program called "Real Life" jumped up and sapped all my system resources, lockin... : sgtsanity
• I should be back by 9:30PST. If any late-night shackers are on we can go cause some trouble. There's alre... : Rampancy
• Went ahead and signed up for a 14 day trial.. Not sure if the friend invite thing is better, but I had th... : intothefray
• more like Boring Mining Robots am i rite? : lord_omega
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  I'm in "Coconut Tejano" :D And I have no f'n clue what I'm doing. Tutorial time for this meximelt. : Kaiser
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    head over to penirgman when you feel like it. we're doing strip mining for uber cassssssh and then ... : ^-SeaWolf-^
    • copy that, just playing with settings and UI now. : Kaiser
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  Anyone feel like putting together a short getting started guide or whatnot? Maybe something that gives so... : Pacalon
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    I am downloading trial for the first time now. We need a noob guide :( : Reeves
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      Do the tutorial It'll take a while I think I think I figured out navigation.... maybe. : Kaiser
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        if i had any ability to put my thoughts into words i'd do it in a heartbeat, but i can't write for shit. ... : ^-SeaWolf-^
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          Well, you can start by SMing me how to make fat lewt and convincing me to pay the $19 bucks to re-establi... : Pacalon
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            well today, every single shacker that came out to mine with us made a minimum of 1 million isk which is o... : ^-SeaWolf-^
            • also race if you wanna be in teh corp right away instead of waiting while i get my ethnic relations up, y... : ^-SeaWolf-^
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  I'd join you guys but im already in an established corp who is part of the stain empire :/ : sanchez
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    you can be our ticket in when we get big enough ;) speaking of stain, did the short bus ever get in? ... : ^-SeaWolf-^
    • I've seen them around but I don't remember if they're in SE or not...but I know that they were friendly a... : sanchez
• Bookmarked for tommorow night. : Durandal07
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  Excellent work tonight, everyone. The money only gets better too. Scoutgirl found some ice shards out... : Rampancy
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    any of you in a BS? the best way to mine is to have the person in a BS jump in first and just tank the ra... : sanchez
    • Yeah, but that's no fun. Shoot! Kill! : Goncyn
  • oooh, something I can do. Kill! : jayares
• Congrats to the newest GCR. I wish the huge GCR planetside thread would have been info +1 too :( Afte... : lowayne
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  Good morning GCR. Any idea what I should train? Caldari Deteis Male Int-12 Per-9 Cha-6 Will-7 Mem-... : Kaiser
  • You may want to start getting some more lvl 1 skills, like hull upgrade, weapon and sheild stuff, mechani... : mikage
  • The ideal way I think is to train skills that enhance your stats and learning ability right away so that ... : edgewise
• http://img186.echo.cx/img186/1516/evecanart1ns.png OIC : Kaiser
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  Flying there now, I'm a total newb but I think my warp drive is working : j33uk
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    don't forget to join the shacknews channel : ^-SeaWolf-^
    • Ive got two accounts i think i may re-up. : james t kirk

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  So the girl I'm currently with has never orgasmed in her life. Clearly I'd like to provide this for her, : Crimson
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    I'd bet that if she's convinced she can't have one, she won't. I believe she'll need to think that it's p... : Halen
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      yep - she needs to teach herself to do it 1st - then bring you in : smellslikefish
      • nah not necessarily : alexthegreat2
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    If she can't get herself off, you can't do it either. (A generalization yes, but she's got self-issues to : zakk
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      hmm. Yea, that's kind of what I've thought. I'm not dead set on getting her there, esp since she's so fat... : Crimson
      • if she's a psychobitch you probably can't help her. The best you can do is talk to her, fill her with al... : Luminair
      • It sounds like anxiety. If you could overcome her anxiety, then maybe she will have one. Maybe try to f... : oneandone11
    • a friend of me had a similar problem. she never touched herself and wasn't interested in orgasms at all. ... : matthaeus
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    If she doesn't want to get off (and it sure sounds like she doesn't want to), don't focus on this. Seriou... : jessipoo
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      yea, she certainly appears to enjoy sex (and says so herself) but just doesn't orgasm. I'm not too focuse... : Crimson
      • Yeah, my girl doesn't and just seems to be used to it, and, like yours, enjoys sex very much (apparently.... : crummynz
    • I don't take it personally, but I'm a very...shall we say...audio focused man. Luckily I keep finding fre... : zakk
  • Hey, I'm in a very similar situation at the moment, except my girl doesn't seem to have any "control issu... : crummynz
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    tie that woman down, blindfold her, and eat her out like it was papa johns pizza, while fingering her. : karlk79
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      That sure wouldn't do it for me. Different strokes for different girls. : TheMonkeyWench
      • depends on how you eat pizza, I guess... :) I was kinda just kidding though. : karlk79
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        So... what would do it for you? : crummynz
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          Angelina Jolie and a bathtub full of chocolate :p : TheMonkeyWench
          • GET THIS WOMAN AN ANGELINA JOLIE, STAT! : TastyWheat
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            Ah HA! It's the Jolie Effect—Angelina Jolie makes straight women lesbo (godbless her). I kne : Bold
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              negative. If anything she makes me MORE straight. blarf. : Megara9
              • Interseting, interesting. You're an exception to the rule, which raises the question: what woman would "t... : Bold
              • THANK YOU Alba > Jolie : Ebu
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    pour beer on your dick and then fuck her with your beer dick : mr.sleepy
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      oooohhh, Mr. Don Juan here! Wow, you must have them beggin for more! : oneandone11
      • if they got to AA meetings he does.... : karlk79
  • Get a sybian and stick her on it. That'll fix that. : losder5000
  • you let her get on top don't you? : edgewise
  • Lots of foreplay and fingerwork usually work for me. Just get her good and relaxed and let your fingers : timmie
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    just let her do it in her own time. As it is she's very unlikely to achieve orgasm with you there as it s : ChowYunCat
    • This is a good answer. I would also say it sounds like she is holding herself back, weather intentionall... : jjlaw
    • very good link, A+++! : askedrelic
  • Dress up as an evil bunny lord and spank her bottom (this worked for Andromeda) : skynet
  • she needs to perfect the technique herself. everyone is different, some girls like it hard, some soft, s... : radula
  • I have a friend who can pretty much only orgasm using one of those cute little clit vibrators. I've obvio... : woddemandred
  • i think you should make a big deal out of it girls cum easily when they're super uncomfortable...it ne... : TheTick
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    Tie her up, tie her up good. That way you force her to give up all the control... then do what you want. ... : James T. Kirk
    • this is the awswer, it does not matter what you do if she backs off at the last minute and shuts her legs... : eyegeegeewhy
  • 1 simple trick: campagne. Always works. : [7]kami
  • I read recently that by doing MRIs on women having and faking orgasms, they linked the real ones to the s... : snagger
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    I find it amazing that this is even possible : Megara9
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      that what's possible, a female orgasm? thanks to all those who replied btw : Crimson
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        no.. that it's possible to not be able to orgasm. That's like... eating icecream and saying "nope, can't ... : Megara9
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          yea, it does pretty much suck. like one of the posters above mentioned i'm kind of not worrying about it ... : Crimson
          • ~nods~ If it is anxiety related, then it seems like she'd stand a better chance if you weren't around at ... : Megara9
  • I was in the same boat once, I never was able to crack the safe. Apparently her current BF has though. We... : red2lucas
  • tell her to wear socks while you do it : mikecyb
  • She needs to learn how to masterbate. Most chicks that diddle themselves enjoy sex more. : Pettytheft
• it is possible to achieve - she just needs to practice, probably on her own at first. Plenty of technique... : madclown
• Also, I had one girl where the only thing I could do to make her orgasm, was to go down on her and finger... : karlk79
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  Just do it the way they do it on the farm. Shove an electrode up her ass and fire it up. : Omaha
  • Isn't that how they slaughter cattle? : TastyWheat
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  You don't know the history of the femal orgasm. I do. : GeorgeB3DR
  • George, George.. George.. George, George.. : d fluke
  • Are you trying to say that a woman can only have an orgasm if they pay you money? : woddemandred
  • Brilliant. Just brilliant. : freqq28
  • But if using orgasm enhansing drugs helped her reach orgasm shouldn't that be enough? : jjlaw
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    that line NEEDS to be in DNF.. : g0nk
    • haha, yeah that would be awesome. : c_man_tmt
  • the duke in george has returned... it's coming!!!.... : lonestar3
  • hahahahaha : askedrelic
  • haha wow Xenu seems pretty versitile : cap n KRUNCH
  • "Oh the clitoris is real, it's the female orgasm that's a myth" : Koba1t
• Get her drunk and put her on top. Maybe she'll lose some of the mental block, and can just do what feels ... : DinK
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  smoking hot girl friend of mine needs anal to cum : multisync
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    pics+DIVX stat! : melkore
    • of.....what? : thekidd
  • girl, rite... : EvilDolemite