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Evening Reading

by Steve Gibson, Sep 17, 2004 6:24pm PDT
Related Topics – Wack News

Well its just demo crazytime around these parts the past couple of weeks. Always do enjoy this time of year as the holiday season slowly approaches. Lots of fun stuff to play! Here, these are for you buddy!

- Federal bounty on spammers - Alligator on the loose! They need this guy - Light-wave antenna - Romancing the phone

Lastly, one for the poor planning department... spend half a million on a fire truck and you cant fit it in the garage. That's hot.


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  • #2437
    Refresh Thread
    By: thekidd x
    Reply
    Jones Soda Holiday Pack 2005 Review
    I've always been a fan of Jones Soda, since it was introduced to me years ago. And now that It's available here on the east cost, I'm absolutely ecstatic.

    But what made me absolutely giddy was that I was able to purchase the holiday pack this year.

    Last year Jones Soda had this special box set of a few different kinds of soda they specifically created for theh holiday season. A branch off the "Turkey

    and Gravy" soda they had the year before. It included mashed potatoes and gravy, green bean casserole, and fruitcake sodas. Unfortunetly, Jones Soda still

    wasn't acquirable on this side of the country. I blame the East Coast for not knowing what's good for them.

    This year, they even had some special Halloween flavors. Berry lemonade, Caramel Apple, Candy Corn, and Strawberry lime. I only tried the Caramel Apple and

    the Candy Corn. I don't have enough information to give you on them, but I will say that they do taste like their labels.

    When I stumbled upon the Holiday Pack for this year, I absolutely had to have it. There was no question. The $11 price tag wasn't an issue (a plus, since

    it was also nonnegotiable. Damn target and their "store policies").

    (-----image of pack, and a list of the sodas)

    Turkey and Gravy
    Wild Herb Stuffing
    Burrsels Sprouts
    Cranberry Sauce
    Pumpking Pie]y



    I brought it home, and it sat. This was 2 weeks ago, and only today did I touch it. I spent those two weeks dreading what I knew had to pass one day: I

    would have to drink these sodas. It occured to me that these sodas are of such rare flavors, that some of you may not be aware what such a drink tastes

    like. In order to motivate myself to be so masochistic as to drink these sodas, I've convinced myself that I'm doing it for you; the people. You want me to

    drink these. You want me to know how it tastes, so you can be told. You need me to do this, because no one else will help you. Here I am. Telling you

    what you know without learning the hard way.

    The Setup
    The procedure is simple. The drinks are setup with a main course, 3 side dishes, and a desert. I'll try the main dish first, the 3 side dishes

    subsequently, and the dessert last. The sampling itself has it's own flow. I first open the drink, and smell it, passing through the smell test. I then

    sip the drink to get an idea of the flavor, a first impression (The amount drunken here couldn't fit a thimble). Then, a mouthful is drunk, so that I (and

    by association, you) understand what it would be like to drink it as if you were at a social engagement (like a box social). Finally, I chug the drink. The

    final one serves a multitude of purpose: I immerse myself in the flavor, as a way of thinking "if this flavor were a tree, what tree would it be," and I

    find out how much of the bottle is actually tolerable. So to summerize:

    1) Sip
    2) Mouthful
    3) Chug as much as possible without passing out.

    The Results

    Turkey and Gravy
    Smell - The gravy smell comes most strongly out of the bottle, and is not at all enticing.

    Taste - Very think. It tastes quite accurately like gravy, and there's almost no taste of turkey. It's passable but not preferable. If the main course at

    the first thanksgiving was anything like this, we'd all be eating ham.


    Wild Herb Stuffing
    I've never really eaten much stuffing, so I'm not sure to expect. (ew, I just burped turkey & gravy)

    Smell - It's sweet, bitter, kind of a holiday sent. Sort of a rustic smell.

    Taste - Oh god the after taste is horrible. It's a really flat taste when it's in the mouth, almost as if it's the absence of flavor that's so bad. It

    really needs a gravy flavor. Maybe mixing 1/3 turkey and gravy and 2/3 stuffing would make it acceptable. It's missing something, a real taste. It

    parallels soda water. Like "Salt Soda Water", there was really no texture until the stomach finally protested and I had to really focus on it. Not

    suggested, definetly worst than the turkey and gravy.


    Burrsels Sprouts
    I've never had brussels sprouts. The soda is puke green, which doesn't bode well for any drink I've ever had. I can't remember any soda that's puke green

    and it tasting good.

    Smell Moldy butter comes to mind. The smell alone is revolting enough. The more I smell it, the more it assaults the senses, spreading itself like a

    virus. Mold. Just mold.

    Taste - Before tasting a path is cleared straight to the bathroom. Not even to the toilet, that would take up too much time. Straight to the tub. It

    should be a big enough target. *drinks* ugh, oh god I can still taste it, it's horrible. oh, no, ugh, after I swalled it it spread from my mouth to every

    limb. The damn drink is making my legs shake, my eyes are tearing up. I gagged several times. And this is just the Sip. I had to take the last 2 swallows

    in front of the sink. There were waves of gagging and disgust after the mouthful. on the chug, I absolutely almost threw up. I gagged to that point, I had

    to spit whatever was in my mouth at the time back up.


    Cranberry Sauce
    One of my more favorite thanksgiving side dishes. How can you screw up a cranberry? This was the first soda to fizz after opening. Though the others were

    carbonated, they never produced a comparable amount of bubbles after opening.

    Smell Really strong sweet smell, a bit like a mixture of cranberries and tequila

    Taste - Definetly the best one so far, but it's really pretty realtive in that sense. The sweet taste is there, cheerwine-comparison if there had to be one.

    Tolerable to the point it's acceptable at a regularl meel. Has kind of a kick to it. I was able to chug almost all of it (the remainder after the sip and

    the mouthful) by the end.


    Pumpking Pie]y
    I like pie. Pumpkin, meh.

    Smell A real stingy potpouri smell, the smell is almost in describable. If a tractor were to sit outside for years and years, and rust through, this is

    what it would smell like.

    Taste - It's not good, but it's not bad. It's a notch above stuffing, at least this one has taste. If there are pumpkins in here, I can't taste it. The

    after-taste is absolutely horrible. Like swallowing incense. It induces the same reflexes as the brussels sprouts, but to a lesser extent.


    The Conclusion
    Afterwards, there were a lot of bodily functions I'd rather not have to divulge here, the good news of which was that my pee was clear. Only one of the sodas was entirely drinkable. Brussels Sprouts had to be the absolute worst one, and is a drink I'll never touch again. Wild Herb Stuffing was also high on the "Oh my god what is that man doing to his body"-o-meter. In fact.....Cranberry Sauce is the only one that's any good, and it alone is not worth the $11 admission price. Do yourself a favor, buy the classic fufu berry instead. That always gets the ladies going.







    Nov 10, 2005 11:03pm PST

    Thread Truncated. Click to see all 5 replies.

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