Evening Reading

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• Yes : Visceral Monkey
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  yeah i think 6 cats could take you out .. assuming you didn't have something to defend yourself with and ... : Mansmells
  • Yes, I'm talking about really pissed cats, not just nippers. And you'd be unarmed. : EvilDolemite
• no fucking way. 20-30 maybe. 6-8 would scratch the shit out of you, but you could still grab them one at ... : edgewise
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  Do I get some jeans and a long-sleaved jacket? If so, 15 or 20... They'd have to come up with some kin... : Nullzero
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    The clincher is if they could reach your throat. That would be the most vital spot they could attack. : EvilDolemite
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      if they knew to attack it, that is.... those would be some pretty fucking smart cats... like college cats... : edgewise
      • If they're outdoor cats, the know where the neck is... :) : Ebu
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        I dunno, I know that dogs have that killer instinct to go for the throat... I'm not sure about cats thoug... : Nullzero
        • You guys are underestimating the power of kitty. : brewsterdog
    • would you have shoes on? my answer was based on not having shoes on. one of our cats likes to attack my f... : Mansmells
• man, I'm reading this thread about the best way to kill cats, and I just have to say... This is the be... : slax0r
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  This is such a kevin smith conversation : drainovista
  • so true! : Karnov
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  I think there's too many variables that would have to be accounted for. Do I *know* they're going to att... : bipolar
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    There are a lot of variables. It would probably have to be an ideal situation for the cats, like maybe w... : EvilDolemite
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      If you were lying down, and they got the drop on you, I bet 8 or so might do the trick. : bipolar
      • If I was ready for a fight it would probably take more than 20. If I was lying down it would only take o... : slammy
  • ...it doesn't even stun them, does it? The just bounce off with that attitude like, "Oh that's the way we : Ebu
• No. One good kick will put a cat down, but they would need a lot of time or a very lucky shot (jugular, ... : filtersweep
• I wuv kitties. That being said... 15+ minimum. Cats are pretty fragile, and I'm not. : Magitek
• If you're 6ft then they have go pretty high to be able to get at your throat. If you're 6ft 200lbs you co... : Topaz
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  0 because my husky will rip them apart : ansuble
  • (imaginary) : ansuble
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  It's definitely a tough call. If they average 10lbs each... I'd say 20 to 25. However, this is assuming t... : vile
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    So you think you could take out 40 cats? That seems like a lot, but they're small, individually. : EvilDolemite
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      Well, 40 assuming they're regular cats without prior training or knowledge pertaining to killing a human.... : vile
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        ninja kicking left and right I bet you fall on your ass if you tried that. : Topaz
        • Not flying ninja kicks, mind you. Lets say a strong roundhouse. Or if I utilized an axe kick, I could pro... : vile
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        You'd need a lot of stamina to do that though... I mean, imagine throwing your very hardest kicks and pun... : Nullzero
        • I've never seen a cat dodge one of my kicks.. and I'm usually not even trying that hard. : alexthegreat2
• Can I wear battle armor? : RIpsTer
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  I'm curious how many mini-Ditkas it would take to kill a human. : bipolar
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    How mini are we talking about? : Topaz
    • Variable size, from 6-10 inches tall, with 8 inches being average. : bipolar
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  I have a cat thats 20 lbs. It wouldnt take too many of him to kill a human. : crunkfunk
  • 20lbs!! I thought our 13lb cat was big. Imagine 10 of your cats, really mad. : EvilDolemite
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  could I fight back? I don't think any amount could if I fight back hard : AllYourBase
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    You could take out 1000 cats? I call your bluff. You'd be tired as hell long before you were even 1/10t... : bipolar
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      Oh come on... they're not going to be smart enough to all try and collectively sit on you at once though.... : Nullzero
      • What if you're dipped in tuna? : Topaz
  • you can only punch and kick so many furry objects at once, i say if you had 5 or 6 cats, you only need o... : radula
  • Have you ever fought a crazed animal? A properly motivated cat can latch on to you and be biting and cla... : eghartman
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  a single cat could kill you if you tripped over it and fell into the inlet of a running jet engine : sanchez
  • this is an excellent point. : vile
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    The cat didn't kill you. The landing did. : Topaz
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      but you would still be alive if that cat wasnt there : sanchez
      • You're close enough to a jet engine that you can fall into it? I think not. BTW I'm Vulkan so you can ... : Topaz
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      didnt the cat technically murder you though? : disgruntled goat
      • Did he step forward and simply trip over the cat, or did the ground move under him and the cat slap his l... : drainovista
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  they would only take me out if I sneezed to death, cause im allergic to them. : bigblack
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    same here dogs > cats : Mad Brahmin Disease
    • bwahahaha, sure ;D : thetangent
• Now you have to consider the type of cat. The prissy little indoor cat is nothing compared to that dirty... : eghartman
• Threads like this make me keep coming back to the shack. : tostador
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  I like how in D&D odd are a house cat should be able to kill a 1st level wizard. : Kniggit
  • *odd+s : Kniggit
• I could kick probably 10 or so cats asses. You just smash the little fuckers. I hate cats. Probably 30 or... : urbansling
• It would have to be at least 20, and they would have to be smart enough to know what to do. : fvick
• 5 "evil" cats - 10 pounds each, no problem. : 4ge
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  haha, people are so sure of themselves. I bet maximum of 10 cats would be all it would take to kill any ... : timmie
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    but if you grab a cat by the tail or a leg, and just thrash it against something hard (like the ground), ... : karl hungus
    • Don't stop there, you can use the first cat you get your hands to beat down the rest of the cats too! : Carpal
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  You people seriously underestimate the lethal power of some really scared/pissed off animals with claws. ... : brewsterdog
  • *their blood == your blood* : brewsterdog
• No way man, Im sure they would put you in serious condition, but wouldnt(heh) take me out. Use your teeth... : Unleashed
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  I'll fuck a cat up! >:( : sexninja
  • beastiality! : Unleashed
• yay, I'm in this thread! if the cats were starving and not afraid of attacking a person, I'd say 10-15 c... : thetangent
• At least 20. : TastyWheat

Thread Truncated. Click to see all 47 replies.

• damn, to bad ISDN is the only service you guys offer in my area. When DSL gets here I will most likely s... : stgdz
• I am paying $60 a year for email I don't use and to host useless pics like this: http://www.shackspace.c... : chuk
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  damnit, why isnt speakeasy in australia : CoRDS
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    we hate the Vines : edward
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      k, tard, i hate them aswell, but id still like speakeasy : CoRDS
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        i actually think they are OK. all my stupid friends here in seattle hate any "the" band that has a record... : edward
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          damnit we need good isp's down here, just have a look at what we have to put up with www.whirlpool.net.... : CoRDS
          • ozforces, unlimited. the lag they are experiencing is being fixed :) : yautja
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  but.. but.. what if you have all three? : draconic
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    you play the number guessing game then :p : redfive
    • heh. true. : draconic
  • ebay! : jerenity
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    then spend the $200 cert on some games or lols : edward
    • but.. but.. i WORK at EB. haha. : draconic
  • I love being a new member of this crowd! /me kisses XBox and Capcom vs. SNK2 : Entity
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  Now fix my account so I can login damn it! This shit is pissing me off. 20 minutes on hold and I can't ... : rosewood
  • see yer shackmsg : edward
• In the words of Fiddy... I love you like a fat kid love cake. : airrob
• how far-spread is speakeasy? I'm thinking of moving so I'd only sign up if you could move with me... : jaga
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  shouldn't you get more stuff if you choose the gamecube? : Silent1
  • You have $50 remaining credit @ EBGames. They are basically $200 gift certs. : edward
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    the extra value comes inside ;) : jaga
    • i want one so bad it hurts : Silent1
• Is there anyway to know what pipe they're going to hook me up to when I subscribe? If its the same one I ... : crazywigga
• so when will you be offering service in canada? : n0v4
• Jesus christ that stuff is expensive. : Visceral Monkey
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  <Speakeasy rant> It took around a month past the promised date to get my DSL working. I was calling al... : tfboc
  • Doh. Maybe I'll stick with cable. : Visceral Monkey
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    I looked at your account, 37 notes and some pretty active testing and cooperation from our support people... : edward
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      That note was put there on 4/7, and the ticket is closed so it's not getting updated. I've been calling a... : tfboc
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        I've had 4-5 DSL providers, (3 qwest and two small NW ISP's) and *every* one has had issues, some threate : indeego
        • I've always used cable until now, and for the most part it was great. ATT really started to get on my ner... : tfboc
        • I have had major downtime with @home/attbi/comcast, I'm talking weeks :( : Dreamed
  • My experience is the exact opposite of yours. They've been great + responsive for me. : keith
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  When are you guys expanding to Canada? : Waverider
  • Canada has a different regulatory environment for ISP's of our style, so it would take some major deal ac... : edward
• why is it saying error when I enter my address... I current have Verizon SDSL, I think I am eligible for ... : Jayx77
• To be honest, I would love to sign up for the service, but #1 - it's not offered in my area, and #2 - I g... : EvilDolemite
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  How long is the typical time from when I call/order to when Im online with se? : ratman
  • Average install right now is like 10 days. ADSL is generally a shorter install timeline than SDSL, since ... : edward
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  How long is this offer lasting? I ask as I will be graduating from college soon and getting an appartment... : NexusOne
  • Right now it's slated for May, probably not to come back for a long long time. I think this is true, don'... : edward
• yeah and only $120/month where I live =/ : Malk
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  Damit... http://www.shacknews.com/ja.zz?id=5760594 WHEN? : theta
  • if that happens, regular speakeasy webspace better get that too >:| since im sysadmin, i get screwed o... : railchu
• Yikes! Look at those activation and hardware fees! Keep the damn console. : Colin Higgins